Hi there! Sorry that you must go through so much bad stuff, when you should be going through happy times. Have you told him you might be pregnant? You need to find out for sure and get your pre-natal care started, so see a dr as soon as possible, then you must decide what you need to do. Their are a lot of groups and such that will help you to make the best decisions. Do not take any mental or physical abuse from this guy, you are better then that. Get some help!
Sincerely,
sandy

Sandy- thanks for your response.

Yes, I did tell him I might be pregnant but he doesn't seem to care right now. It's so hard because he is a great guy & I try to tell him that he is not acting like himself but he is like a different person. It is such a shame. I want to help him & I try but lets face it, i'm not a trained psychiatrist & can only do so much.

What stinks is that we were so close to breaking up before -- before the thougth of kids was even in the picture -- now what??

Hello dear,

my heart sincerely goes out to you, I am sending you a hug

bipolar disorder is indeed such a shame, that is why I said so many times with my now exboyfriend who has bipolar.

He can be the greatest most loving guy and then hours later on one day
something bothers him, as life is not perfect for anyone, and holy heck can errupt

lately he had been taking his anger out on me. So I had to leave him for good this time.

I started screaming, being loud, because I could not hold it in anymore.

It is so hard, to be in love with someone with this disorder
medicine, dr appointments, the whole experience, the rollar coaster ride,
it is beyoned words, indeed, this should be such a happy, joyous fun exciting times of your life!

I don't know what to say
except I will pray for you, I can relate a little bit to your situation

i wish bipolar disorder, or any mood disorder never existed on this planet, life is so hard as it is.....

Much peace,

Philly_girl and I have now seperated after I was hospitalized on two occasions this summer.


I read a lot of you who's advice is to simply give up and move on.... Thanks for nothing, 14 years of my life is now lost. I don't blame you, but I just don't see much balance around here.

Let's see, hopefully you are entering your second trimester which usually feels great!

Enjoy a walk in the park, it's so lovely this week on the east coast.

Just an update....

Did I care if she was pregnant? Of course, but three home tests said otherwise, and she refused to go to the doctor.

Did I have a tantrum and wreck the grill? Yes, but having a father's day bbq only a few short weeks after she had a miscarriage was the pinnacle of bad ideas. "hi dad, guess what? My kid died in the womb.... Would you like cheese on your burger?"

i have been going to counseling, psychs, and taking meds as prescribed..... She refuses to go to couples counseling.

I have made mistakes as a result of bp, I desperately want to correct them.... She will not give me the chance.

I'm doing everything I can to manage my illness, she is telling me to go f**k myself. I'm having a hard time viewing her a good person lately. Good people don't lock their mentally ill husbands out of the house.

Hi there. I just wanted to tell you that I can totally understand you perspective. I am bipolar type 2 and currently 18 weeks pregnant too. So talk about a total emotional mess! :shock:

some days I cry all the time, some days I am so up. Mostly I have been down though, and still taking my wellbutrin, but non of the mood stabilizers any more or the xanax either for panic and anxiety.

My husband refuses to take my bipolar seriously, like it is all in my head and I can just 'snap out of it' and get up and function. I go to counsiling, and beg him to go, but he won't. It's like what little progress that I am making in counsiling is totally undone by him after I get home.

I have asked myself a lot lately if I made a mistake by marrying him and should I just quit now and get a divorce....We already have one baby 17 mos old, and another on the way. I love him too much to just quit, but I need his support to live with my bipolar, and he does nothing to help me through it. Very uncompassionate.

Sorry for the rant, just wanted you to know that I understand some of the things you are going through (husband) and that you are not alone out there. Keep strong, and keep faith in yourself.

Hello,
i have been with my husband for 5 years. He is bi-polar, and we have constant ups and downs.
All I can say is that I relate completely, and it sucks that there are so many people going through this, and yet we feel so alone.
At the flip of a switch everything can be super awesome then out of nowhere, the looks, the name calling the swearing, the grabbing, the threatening to force me out without the kids, like a bomb.
He unplugs the phone so I cannot call anyone. But he never laid a hand on me.
When I ask if he takes his medication it stresses him out and its ok for him to yell at me because everyone understands what he's going through.
It is the most gut wrenching stressful thing to deal with.
I always utter under my breath oh my god this is such a waste of time.
But when things are good, the kids are happy, and things are great.
We have two small kids, a little girl she's 3 and our son he just turned 1.
He's been in therapy for a good year, and on medication but they have to keep changing the doses because he has a ton of health issues too.
Sigh.
My heart goes out to all of you, who either are bi-polar or have a loved one who is. I can say for sure it isn't easy. On either end.
I know I love my husband, so much, and care about him, and I know this family means everything to him.
I think the best thing is to just be here, by his side, he knows he can't control how he feels or how he behaves, for the most part, and he tries. He knows he hurts me emotionally.... So what we do, is go over his counceling together, recap what they talked about, and come up with new ways of coping.
Just remembering, when things get stressful (and it seems like everything is stressful) to just take a deep breath, and do something to wind down until he feels better, have a cup of tea, and try again. We paint together, and oddly enough that is better than therapy =)
he does not work now, as he is on disability, at the point where he just can't handle anything and it's sad because we're only 26.
Him being home with the children is very good for him. I just see it from both perspective. I am hurt constantly from his random bouts, and yet he has a ton of support, and I have to be sympathetic to the fact that i'm his rock,. And that's the hardest thing for me as the wife, to be the rock. Its hard for me to accept the fact that I have to be the one doing everything.. Its hard!!!
I'm jennifer. I hope any of this makes sense.

My husband may or may not have bipolar disorder. They have diagnosed it as PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). He is on several medications and has been switched numerous times as they are still trying to figure out which mood-regulating hormone he has a deficiency in, so that they can treat it with the proper medications.

He is set off easily by any number of things. It could be that I "ask too many questions" or the kids are too loud or that I didn't do enough around the house during the day, or at the extreme times he says that he is having to take care of my kids from previous relationships and if I wasn't such a hooker he wouldn't have all of this responsibility. He claims he never said that, but I showed the text messages to our marriage counselor and I am going to have him tell my husband that he did, indeed, say that next time we go.

Now I am pregnant with "our" second child, and he is saying that the new baby isn't his and that he wants a paternity test. I looked up how to get a paternity test while pregnant because I don't want to go through nine months of him making me out to be some immoral harlot because he has "no reason" to think otherwise.

In the meantime, he has no reason to think that I would ever cheat on him; he's never found me getting text messages or e-mails from my ex's (although I have caught him doing that) and the most contact I have with members of the opposite sex who have friended me on Facebook. So Philly Boy, you say that people told your wife to leave you, but I would like to ask you, what do you suggest?

Women do not have super powers that make them immune to verbal abuse and neglect. Those kinds of things weigh heavily on our souls! Constantly being told you are a failure as a wife, mother, and human being will take it's toll after a while! How are we supposed to deal with the fact that, even though we have a marriage partner, we are carrying the full weight of our worlds on our shoulders?

This is for the woman who also has bipolar disorder and asks that people be understanding. There is a difference between being understanding and being a martyr for someone else's happiness, isn't there?

I mean, if you are seeking treatment and on medications and attending all kinds of therapies (he is in anger management, as well as marriage counseling with me) and you are still not making any progress, is your significant other just supposed to accept that as their position in life, to be constantly abused and neglected emotionally and build the life that you're supposed to be building together by his or her self? I realize that life is not always fair, but in a normal situation there will be times in a marriage when the wife will carry the load and then the husband will have to carry it. Those of us who have been victimized by our significant others' disorders never see that kind of relief. We are weighed down by the intensity of your emotions.

So, Philly Boy and Bipolar Girl, what are your suggestions?

OMG Victim of Disorder...I cannot believe I found this post. Today, of all days. I truly believe I am not alone, but to read someones writing that could easliy be your own, is overwhelming. I understand your pain and frustration. I am currently 32 weeks pregnant. My SO has, so far, not been supportive. He has gone to ultrasounds, but has been gone basically all the time since I have been pregnant. He works or is off riding his motorcycle. He needs his freedom. I could just go on and on and on. I finally convinced him about 4 months ago to find a good therapist. Luckily, she is in the same office as my therapist and the 4 of us have begun couple's counseling. To say that it has only made things worse is an understatement. We no longer communicate at all. I have been with him for 4 years and have known him 25, so I cannot say I had no idea he had issues. I suppose I have tried everything I thought could make a difference...patience, understanding, communicating with his doctor, attending appointments, listening, talking, buying books, reading books, sharing websites...the list goes on. I do not want to sound like I am somehow expecting some sort of credit for my efforts, I am simply stating I believe I have tried EVERYTHING possible. He still shows no emotion towards me except anger. Last week he threatened to knock my f@$*%^# teeth out and threatened to throw things at me (While I'm pregnant). He has never physcially abused me, but he has kicked me in the stomach while I was pregnant, which he claimed was a reflex/an accident. Whatever. He said he forgot I was pregnant and was just messing around. It never ends. I am now sleeping on the couch just to get away from him. I have always carried the weight in this relationship. He has rental properties, I have worked countless hours on them with him (even dragging my kids along). Giving up all my free weekends. The last time he was hospitalized, he had a manic episode and spent over $100,000. We are not rich people. That was a big blow to our finances. We have yet to catch up and I have taken control of the finances since then. As a result, I have to hear how controlling I am and how much he resents me for it. Did I mention that he still has access to a checkbook, cash everyday and credit cards (Which he maxes out every time he touches). I feel like the couple's therapy was our last hope. I am so frustrated. He tells the therapists how much stress he is under and how he just needs a break (claims I won't give him one) He works...I admit it and takes care of his rentals. I work too; full-time have three kids from a prior relationship, am active as much as possible with my kids school and extracurricular activities, cook, clean the house, wash the laundry and keep the books for his business, not only that, I am pregnant and have some issues with my own family which stress me out....and all he can say is how bad he has it and how much he resents me. I am at my wits end. I have tried as hard as I can to help him rebuild his dreams. I don't know how much more I can endure. He tells me I am simply not strong enough and it is my problem. Finally, he rarely touches me and in fact, I wonder how I could have ever have gotten pregnant considering our sex life is almost nonexistent. This has been a huge issue for me as it affects my self-esteem when I wonder why he is not attracted to me. He told me this week that he will never discuss this at therapy with me. I guess maybe I am wasting my time. I kept hoping that medicine and therapy would be the answer. He is compliant with the meds and attends the therapy. I don't know what else to do. I am probably venting way more than anyone cares to hear. I simply started with one thought and it just poured out of me. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks for listening.