Hello,
i have been with my husband for 5 years. He is bi-polar, and we have constant ups and downs.
All I can say is that I relate completely, and it sucks that there are so many people going through this, and yet we feel so alone.
At the flip of a switch everything can be super awesome then out of nowhere, the looks, the name calling the swearing, the grabbing, the threatening to force me out without the kids, like a bomb.
He unplugs the phone so I cannot call anyone. But he never laid a hand on me.
When I ask if he takes his medication it stresses him out and its ok for him to yell at me because everyone understands what he's going through.
It is the most gut wrenching stressful thing to deal with.
I always utter under my breath oh my god this is such a waste of time.
But when things are good, the kids are happy, and things are great.
We have two small kids, a little girl she's 3 and our son he just turned 1.
He's been in therapy for a good year, and on medication but they have to keep changing the doses because he has a ton of health issues too.
Sigh.
My heart goes out to all of you, who either are bi-polar or have a loved one who is. I can say for sure it isn't easy. On either end.
I know I love my husband, so much, and care about him, and I know this family means everything to him.
I think the best thing is to just be here, by his side, he knows he can't control how he feels or how he behaves, for the most part, and he tries. He knows he hurts me emotionally.... So what we do, is go over his counceling together, recap what they talked about, and come up with new ways of coping.
Just remembering, when things get stressful (and it seems like everything is stressful) to just take a deep breath, and do something to wind down until he feels better, have a cup of tea, and try again. We paint together, and oddly enough that is better than therapy =)
he does not work now, as he is on disability, at the point where he just can't handle anything and it's sad because we're only 26.
Him being home with the children is very good for him. I just see it from both perspective. I am hurt constantly from his random bouts, and yet he has a ton of support, and I have to be sympathetic to the fact that i'm his rock,. And that's the hardest thing for me as the wife, to be the rock. Its hard for me to accept the fact that I have to be the one doing everything.. Its hard!!!
I'm jennifer. I hope any of this makes sense.