Of course your not a freak, I understand exactly what you mean, its like its a catch 22. Perhaps you could ask yourself why do you feel the need to lose weight on some days and not so much on other days? Could it be that its when you are thinking alot and consumed by alot of things that you feel you need to lose weight?
I know on the surface its about food and weight but it goes alot deeper then that and I think that its more got to do with how you feel about yourself or a certain situation that can cause your mood to go up and down so much.
Perhaps you could try to focus more on what is happening at that time or what are you thinking about at that time( other than food) when you want to binge or feel down. Maybe it would be better if you focused more on whats going on in that moment that gets you down.
I hope i'm making sense here but I really think that there is so much more to it then wanting to lose weight because although you asked people who are bulimic about their moods,there is no big difference between people who are anorexic or bulimic because its the same destructive thinking and feeling behind the food.
But you are not mad or a freak, you are just going through something which is very difficult but you will get there, you will recover,i know it.
I hope your mood is ok now, there are people that are there for you, there always will be but you have to take there hand and let them lead you along the right path.
The best of luck to you and write anytime you need to talk.
