I am kinda curious myself too. I have 3 and a 1 year old. They are about to have a new step dad too...With number 3 coming soon.

Is the kids dad around?

Well, it all really depends on the situation & how close they are to their real father, if he's around. I grew up with a step-father for 14 years of my life. My real father was away in the army & had another family in oklahoma. I loved my step dad like he was my real father, now him & my mother are going through a divorce. He is still my father, I love him like my own & he loves me as a daughter. Step parents just need to realize that younger kids will try to push their limits just because they know that isn't their real daddy. Trust me, I did the same thing when I was a little girl. I argued with him soo much, but now we're closer then ever. Just tell him that the kids will to that, they may grow out of it someday, maybe they won't. It all takes time! Good luck!