I am madly in love with my boyfriend. He is the most amazing man that I have ever met and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He is the first person that I have truly loved and I would do anything for him, all I want is for him to be happy. He loves me like I love him, its crazy love. We get along so well and have so much to share with each other. . . However he has recently been becoming really upset about my past. Before he asked me to be his girlfriend I told him everything about my life before, this includes that I have been intimate with 6 men in 4 years. He has only been with one girl before me. He tells me that because I was so "careless" and didn't have "self-respect" that he doesnt know if he can respect my past decisions because it makes him think badly of me and that he doesn't feel special physically. I know that I have had sex for the wrong reason in the past, but I don't get why he cant understand that I have changed, I want nothing but him and that will never change. No one is perfect, everyone has a past! What can I do to make him understand?
"i did what I knew then, and now I know better..."
"i have asked forgiveness from god and he forgives me as long as I acknowledge my wrongdoings, apologize to those whom I have hurt, and promise to implement change"
if he hasn't the capacity to forgive that foregoing, which is all a human being can possibly offer, he should be ashamed of himself. Do not tie yourself to a flogging pole to be forever punished for the past. He who is without sins can cast the first stone, and it is not going to be him! You're establishing a dynamic here which will forever be in play if you do not draw a firm line about it and change it now...He will always have this shame and blame aspect with which to manipulate you. He will never respect you until you stand up for yourself. One day he will be calling you names which you will feel you deserve, until you can forgive yourself, ask for god's forgiveness and then your boyfriends...His ability or lack thereof is telling as to his character. If he can't show some depth, then dump him now, as he will only make your life miserable over time.