Hey



my family is a somewhat similar situation.. Where one family members opinion is tearing the family apart.. My situation is my mom had me and my brother with my father who later seperated then she married my stepdad and had a daughter with my half sister who is now 5. Lally and terry( my stepgrandparents) treated me and andrew like a member of the family..But when chantelle came alone that all stopped.. My mom noticed it and talked to my stepdad about and he agreed . When they confronted lally and terry about they say nothing wrong with what they were doing.. My mom feels because of them our family is being torn apart.. This christmas has been hard... My mom doesnt want to see lally and terry and do the regular christmas stuff... My stepdad was very upset about this but realized that the most important thing to do was to keep his immediat family happy,, meaning me my brother my sister and my mom ... All I can say to you is keep your family happy.. Keep your children happy... And hopefully your father will come around.. Lgood luck
christina

Mybabiesandme... That is a tough one. I am sorry that your father feels that way. Racism is a tough thing for some people for some reason. I personally am colorblind. The sad truth is that a lot of people your dad's age refuse to change their opinions on racism. He is obviously wrong, especially since you have three beautiful children and a loving relationship. I hate to say this, but it may take him a very long time to come around, if ever. And in my opinion, I would not go for christmas. If you go, you are letting him not accept your family. That would hurt your man and your children. You may just have to move on with your new family and forget about your old family. It sucks, but you don't want to end up losing both. Those kids are half you and half your man. If your father won't accept your children, then you need to quit talking to him. If he loves you as much as he should, he will eventually come around.

Send pics, and letters of what he is missing. This may give him a lift. In your letters, mention that they are a part of him...This is what I did with my uncle, because he would not see his grandchildren. Unfortuanetly, it took a tragic time in our family for him to realize it. My grandmother had fallen fatally ill, and I mentioned to him several times that he should let his daughters know that their grandmother was sick, and wasn't going to make it. He would agree with me, but never took the step to call them. They found out by my grandmother's obituary, that she had passed. It hurt him that they had to find out that way. Now they don't talk everyday, but he has made an effort to keep them informed in what is going on. And I beleive they are getting closer. So in a way, you have to push it on him.

Good luck,

jennifer

I know its tearing you apart that your father doesnt want to have anything to do with your children but if you try to make an effort for him to get to know them and he stills refuses its his lost. Your children come first I feel so sorry for your father that he is missing out on wonderful children because of racism issues. I wouldnt worry myself to death over it just pray about it and put it in god's hand.


Chrystal