Medical Questions > Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum

Help Me..i Want My Life Back!!

Hi my name is sarah. I am 20 years old and I have 3 children (all by the same father). I have two boys and one girl ranging from ages 14 months to 4 years old. I had my first child when I was 16...My first son, his name is damen. He is my little heart and he looks just like his father. My second child, (my second son) donnell, is 2 years old.(well, he'll be two in january). Then my thrid, my little angel. Daniella. She is 14 months, my little baby. Now myself and my fathers children, are in a interracial relationship. He is black. My children are mixed. My family disowns my children because of their race. My father won't touch them or even see them. I love my children, and I work and fulltime job..I just want my dad to love my kids the way he loved me. How can I slowly push him away from the racism? I don't know what to do. The holidays are coming up and my father refuses to invite my fiancee and my children. Does that mean I don't go!?!?!?!? Please help!
Did you find this post helpful?
|

replied November 15th, 2003
Active User, very eHealthy
That is a very sad story, and I really sympathize with your situation, but your parents are being very harsh and you are right in saying they are racist. Unfortunately interracial relationships are not often accepted by the older generation, which is completely and utterly wrong, as we are all human beings no matter what colour we are. I'll be straight with you, if it were me in your position and my father would not welcome my husband along to the family christmas dinner table, then I would have my own christmas dinner at my own house and invite a few friends to join us. In no way, shape or form would I entertain my fathers racist beliefs especially when it comes to my family. These are your children we are talking about here, your flesh and blood, and your father has no right to disown them because they are a different nationality to him. My husband has dutch blood, and if my father ever told me hubby and the kids weren't invited to christmas because they are dutch, I would tell him quite firmly to stick it fair up his butt. I would be so hurt and angry. Stand up for your hubby and children, if your father wants to be that cruel that's fine, but he does not deserve to have you at the dinner table without the rest of your family. By not going to christmas dinner at your fathers house, you are stating loud and clear that you are disgusted in his non acceptance of your family. Your hubby and kids must be extremely hurt by all this, at a time when family's are supposed to rejoice and spend quality time together.

Good luck, and I hope you have a lovely christmas.

Suzy
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied November 16th, 2003
Experienced User
Your children are a gift from god.Your children come first.Your father comes last.Your father is racist. No longer think of him as your family.You have a family.Get used to it,get over it,get on with your life.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

replied January 7th, 2004
Experienced User
to Mybabiesandme !
I know what you talking about..... I am married to a black man and thank. God my family it's ok with it , they love hem.... I feel so bad for what is happening to you ... I just break contact with my father because you don't want to show your children it's ok to be a freaking racist Evil or Very Mad these kind of people make me very mad... I know it might be hard becaus he is you father but you got to do what you got to do.... Maybe you can tell hem it's the inside that counts and not the looks! I would write hem a card like a "i'm sorry" card and tell hem in there that you are sorry that he feels that way but you Exclamation love Exclamation your husband and you are not tring to give up or break up your family just because of hes coldhearted decision, and he is the one who haves to live with knowing he doese have a daughther and 3 grand children that are very beautiful. You know everybody is unique just the way god made us, it be very boring up in here Exclamation Laughing if we all look alike don't you think ?
So just let that man know..... And don't stress yourself about it... Your kids and husband need you !

Tx_momy

ps: hope this helps ! Smile
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Quick Reply
Answers to Similar Questions
User Profile
Harpreet Singh
User Profile
Dr. Madhumita Avinash Paul
User Profile
Dr. Nikola Gjuzelov
User Profile
Dr. Madhumita Avinash Paul
User Profile
Dr. Madhumita Avinash Paul