I have had mild anxiety most of my life. I devloped panic disorder at 23. I have had periods where it hasn't been as bad. In the past year, it has gotten worse as has my generalized anxiety. I also have developed anorexia and probably depression. It seems rather out of control as I know that I behaving and dwelling my thoughts on things that are not in my best interests. It seems crazy to me to not be able to act in my best interests. I sometimes worry that I am not experiencing things as they happen. When people talk to me, for example, I think that they said more negative things than they said and miss the more positive parts of the conversation. I don't feel the same as I used to in terms of feelings. Occaisionally, I actively feel sad. I rarely feel other emotions. When my am most anxious, I feel nothing besides the anixiety. A lot of times, I feel emotionally numb.
I am in counseling now once a week, but I am afraid to tell her how crazy I feel. I also go to an anorexia support group once a week. My doctor is looking into anorexia treatments for me. I am hoping that if I can eat a regular balanced diet that my sanity will get better.