Hi group,

I know this is aimed more at broken heared due to a relationship but just felt that I needed someone to talk to.

My dad cared for my mum for 10 years before she died. Since christmas 2000 my mum has been in and out of hospital with heart failure, chest infections and so on. She ended up in hospital at least 4-5 times a year and would stay as an inpatient for a matter of a week to a couple of months at times.

Towards the end of 2004 she was admitted into hospital due to heart paroblems which she had suffered from heart problems from the age of 9 years old. During te finally hospital stay in 2004 the doctors told her that if she had another turn with her heart again they wouldnt be able to do anything for her.
In early 2005 she was in hospital due to a chest infection which I dont think she ever cleared up when she was discharged in february, which she came home only for a week before being admitted again but this time with heart problems.

On thursday 24th february 2005 my mum was admitted into hospital once again with her heart probelms and she took a really bad turn over the weekend spells that she was in hospital. On the 11th march she took a bad turn again and doctors did all they could, my dad even stopped by her bedside overnight until I arrived on the saturday morning. I offered to stay overnight on saturday to give my dad a break and during the early hours of sunday morning around 2am she got worse and this became a shock for me as I had never seen my mum like this with doctors and nurses trying all they could. My mum kept asking for the injection to end her life but they couldnt give it her due to legal reasons. It was so hard seeing her going through this.
On sunday my mum kept trying to get out of bed saying she wanted to come home as she was told by doctors that there was nothing they could do for her apart from give her morphin injections for the pain. At this stage they decided to move my mum into a side room so that all the family could be at her bedside. During that night she was looking up at the ceiling in the room and talking to someone and when my brother walked in he could see a shadow on teh ceiling and he knew nothing at the time about my mum talking to someone in that area of the room. She was talking to her mum who had passed away in 1985 and also her brother peter who she never had met as he was born and died before my mum was born.
That night my dad decided to stop overnight to give me a break from the saturday night and I agreed to go back first thing on monday morning when my brother picked me up from the mother-in-laws as my brother lived just down the road and I had no transport.
Me and my brother arrived at hospital around 10.30 and my dad went home to get some rest. While my dad went home the head nurse came and asked me and my brother to leave while she checked my mums states and when she came out some 5-10 mins later she told me that she was deteriating and fast and that if we wanted my dad to come back them to let her know and she'll phone him. My dad was phoned and he arrived back at hospital by 12.30pm. It seemed like a long day and me and my yougest of two brothers needed to go to teh bank for some money and we got my dad some shopping in while we was at the cash machine at the nearest supermarket, we just got through the check out when my brothers phone rang... My mum had passed away.

I know she waited until me and my brother wasnt there as we was the only ones along with my dad who looked after her as my other brothers and sisters didnt even phone to ask if she was ok on days taht she was bad at home.

I know I got to speak to my mum before she went as I asked her if she wanted to go and she nodded yes, so I told her to not say because of us and that we would all be ok, taht I would look after dad like I did her and that if she wants to go she can do. It was hard but it wasnt fair on her suffering any longer. I only wish I could of had held of her hand when she went.

I'm just finding it so hard to come to terms with but I know that she is now in a better places, healing and recovering from everything she has been thorugh.

:cry: