Sexual Health - Women Forum - Was a Raped Or Was It My Fault?

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Q: Was a Raped Or Was It My Fault?

asked by: miranda on June 10th, 2005

New User

At 12 my best friends older brother had a small crush on me. He was 17-18 and going into the army. He always told me that he wanted to do something special for my 13 birthday. I kinda looked up to him and we made out alot and one time we even kinda like dated.I liked him. We ended up taken one of my best friends virginity and it up set me but I got over it. Then like 2 months after my 13 b-day I was over at my friends house and her older sister was in her room having sex with her boyfriend so we were stuck in the living room. She walked outside to smoke and her brother started kissing all over me. I was into it then he started talking about sex. He was like come on you know you want to... I was like smiling saying "yeah right" I thought it was a joke beside he had a girlfriend at this time. Her sister boyfriend walked out and then her sister to leave. Her brother then said, follow me and walked into the room. We got inside and he started kissing me all over and taken my pants off. I stopped him and said what are you doing. He said look I promise I won't hurt you! And told me that he would stop if I wanted him to. So I got on the bed with my shirt still on I wouldnt take it off!! He started and it hurt sooo bad! I started to cry and told him to stop. And he wouldnt! I begged him to stop! And he just kept saying it wont hurt for long I promise, just shhh... Don't say anything. I just laid there crying holding my shirt down over my chest so he couldnt see me.I thought it was my fault for always leading him on.. And that I deserved it since I always kissed him and made him think I would go all the way!! Is it my fault or was I raped!

Replies(49)

MissShortie

replied on June 10th, 2005

Experienced User

When you tell somebody no, and they still do it, then its rape I think. Yes you like the guy, and so there was nothing wrong with kissing him or what not, but when you were having sex and said it hurt and he kept going and going and going, I consider that rape, and would never want to be alone with him again and you should have told someone. That was definatly wrong, and no its not your fault he did that to you, because you had the right to change your mind, and for it to stop, and he was wrong because he did not, and took advantage of you. : /

Pilleus

replied on June 13th, 2005

Experienced User

I totally agree with what missshortie said.

vanessalouanne

replied on June 13th, 2005

Extremely eHealthy

If you are having sex and at any time say to stop then it is considered rape! There was a court ruling saying something. Besides the fact that that is satiory rape as well (rape with a minor) I really thing that you should do something about it because it looks like this guys makes a habit out of having sex with 13 year olds and thats wrong. When he is in the army he will be in a position of power and think he could do this to someone else and he most likely will. I think that it is so importaint that you say something. Do not let him get away with this.. You are 13 years old. He took advantage of you regardless of the fact that you let him kiss you. Be strong girl and dont let him get away with it!

OWNERER

replied on June 14th, 2005

New User

Totally not rape. Your fault.

waxgurlcute6669

replied on June 14th, 2005

New User

Did he also put his dick in your mouth and made u breather through your nose will he promessed he wont stop either?

SomeGuy333

replied on June 16th, 2005

New User

ownerer wrote:

totally not rape. Your fault.

waxgurlcute666 wrote:

did he also put his dick in your mouth and made u breather through your nose will he promessed he wont stop either?

you two are liars and sick pedofillacs.

For a person, I believe 21 and over, to have sex with a minor is statitory rape, and even if she gave off signals that she wanted to have sex doesn't mean she wanted to, all she must do is say no and if he continues its rape. You two by posting that are giving off a vibe that you want your head cut off but is that happening?

Whitney4768

replied on June 21st, 2005

Experienced User

Totally Rape

Hunny it was totally rape if you ever feel uncomfortable and you tell a person no no by golly means no and if a guy cant handle that then his balls need to be cut off who cares if you came on to him or he came on to you.... People at 12 or 13 are just experiencing what dating is or how a first kiss feels to me it sounds as if the 2 of you were experiencing and he got carried away I wouldve kicked him real good to get him to get off you did the right thing it is not your fault if you didnt say no then it was your fault but dont worry you did the right thing dont let all these people put you down the law is the law and it was rape good luck by the way what did your parents say about and what did the guy say and do about it???

breezy2

replied on July 16th, 2005

New User

Not Funny

Why are you people joking about rape? Most criminals are stupid, don't you know you can be traced through this anonymous voice online you think you have? If you even toy with criminality, you can and will be turned in to the police, and it's simple reverse hacking to find exactly where you're sitting right now as you read this...If you think rape is funny, you should go to jail and we all know that your fellow prisoners will give you a first hand experience
you are anonymous here to explore health topics, not to threaten, malign, endanger, harass, or impersonate (pedophiliacs)
you will be found

Keehiaangel

replied on July 26th, 2005

Experienced User

Harsh Reality

I am sorry to say but yes it was rape. I dont know why some people would even say a child your age is at fault you kissed him ok there was nothing wrong with that. He should have known better I mean come on 17yrs and you are only 12 right? From experience you should report him and make him pay for something that he took that you can never have back. I wish that I had done the same thing but I didn't know any better either. I am 20yrs old and I am still effected by what happened to me. I am so sorry that this happened to you. You should have bit it off! Lol.. But really I am very sorry!!

BonnieH

replied on July 26th, 2005

Experienced User

You were rape and it is most definitely not your fault. I suggest telling somebody. Something must be done about it. What he did was definitely not ok. I'd press charges and then some.

Keehiaangel

replied on July 26th, 2005

Experienced User

Totally agree

PinkPassionPrincess

replied on July 27th, 2005

New User

I have to agree with rape. I know I was raped when I was younger for being naive and wanting to feel pretty. I won't admit it to anyone (friends, bf, family) I never experienced real love making until my current bf came along.

Someone that age has power of you at your age, size, etc. Don't hurt yourself over it but help others speak up for themselves.

My friend is 21, broken up with her bf of 5yrs, I still say he raped her last weekend by demanding sex even after she said no and then she gave in but she said with a condom (his just recent dumped ex cheated on him so who knows) he ended up pinning her down and having sex without protection. She feels violated but feels it wasn't rape because she loved him for 5yrs........When it is not wanted and you regret or cry (not just from a bit of pain but emotionally) it was not supposed to happen and it was not fully mutual.

Storywriter

replied on September 11th, 2005

New User

Yeah

yeah you were raped..Plus you told him to stop but he didn't.He kept it up.He went harder and harder.That is rape in my opinion and should have said something.

annaf2001

replied on October 3rd, 2005

New User

ownerer wrote:

totally not rape. Your fault.

you problem. It was not her fault. She told him no and he was much older and probably stronger and intimidating!

jenn_smithson

replied on October 3rd, 2005

Active User, very eHealthy

Miranda it was not your fault and yes, you were raped. You did not lead him on, you did not tease him, you are not at fault for anything that happened to you. He is completely and totally at fault. It is not a crime to have a crush on someone and kiss them. That is not "leading him on". However, it is a major crime and a heinous violation of your person to physically force you into sexual intercourse. That crime is rape and he committed it. It was never your fault and it will never be your fault.

Right now, I want to encourage you to seek medical attention and to tell an adult you can trust. You need to go and see a doctor. I would also encourage you to have an adult call the police and for you to make a report on this. It may help you in the long run to make the report and confront him about this. It could be therapuetic for you. It takes a lot of courage to survive the ordeal that you have survived. Please use that courage to tell someone so that you can get the help that you need. It was not your fault, you did nothing wrong. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. What a lot of people don't understand about rape is that you, the victim, did nothing to provoke the attack. The only thing that made him select you as a victim was because you have a vagina and you had no control over that. It was .N.O.T your fault. Please tell someone so that you can get the help you need. If you need anything, pm me.
All my support,
jenn

mr_whygirls

replied on October 3rd, 2005

New User

You Ware Rape, Partly Your Fault

I'm soory to said that u ware raped, but partly it still your fault too. Firstly u shouldn't give a open widows of opputunity for him.(going to the room or allow him to kiss you)

i agree with some of the advice from this forum board. Talk to some one and led you to the right path and action to be taken on him,from my point of view, something must be done to this mother f***er.

Do u know what i'll will do if I ware u ? . Kill him!!!!
Killing a person is not that hard.Easy!!!

lovemad

replied on October 6th, 2005

New User

Dont Listen to Assholes

The fact that your questioning if it was rape.. You felt violated... So yes it was rape and you need to let someone know and get help for it....

russells_babygirl692000

replied on October 6th, 2005

New User

Re: Was a Raped Or Was It My Fault?

Hey girl the same thing happen to me at 12 and it hurts so bad I 'm still not over it really ! I told my parents and they made it to be fault so for many years I sufferd blaming my self for it ! But thanks to my husband I now realize it wasn't my fault and I was raped. My point is it isn't your fault he took advange of you because you were young and nieve :arrow:

miranda wrote:

@12 my best friends older brother had a small crush on me. He was 17-18 and going into the army. He always told me that he wanted to do something special for my 13 birthday. I kinda looked up to him and we made out alot and one time we even kinda like dated.I liked him. We ended up taken one of my best friends virginity and it up set me but I got over it. Then like 2 months after my 13 b-day I was over @ my friends house and her older sister was in her room having sex with her boyfriend so we were stuck in the living room. She walked outside to smoke and her brother started kissing all over me. I was into it then he started talking about sex. He was like come on you know you want to... I was like smiling saying "yeah right" I thought it was a joke beside he had a girlfriend at this time. Her sister boyfriend walked out and then her sister to leave. Her brother then said, follow me and walked into the room. We got inside and he started kissing me all over and taken my pants off. I stopped him and said what are you doing. He said look I promise I won't hurt you! And told me that he would stop if I wanted him to. So I got on the bed with my shirt still on I wouldnt take it off!! He started and it hurt sooo bad! I started to cry and told him to stop. And he wouldnt! I begged him to stop! And he just kept saying it wont hurt for long I promise, just shhh... Don't say anything. I just laid there crying holding my shirt down over my chest so he couldnt see me.I thought it was my fault for always leading him on.. And that I deserved it since I always kissed him and made him think I would go all the way!! Is it my fault or was I raped!

jma1

replied on October 28th, 2005

Experienced User

Mr_whygirl

Mr_whygirl you are wrong, does a hooker deserve to be raped no. Regardless of what happens no means no even in other languages. Its almost universal. This girl did what all girls do kiss the guys they look up to and then they came along and take advantage of that puppy love. Just because you kiss someone doesn't mean you are asking for rape. She asked for him to stop, and he said shh dont say anything. She laid there crying and he did it harder and harder. Ask yourself this: if this was your daughter would you consider it rape? Or did she ask for it? Miranda, sweetie this isn't your fault. This boy took advantage of you (of your feelings, of your purity). He deserves the worst, in time he will get it too. I will pray for you, please stay strong and talk to someone. Even if you dont do anything about it, talk to a counselor maybe at school-thats what they are there for.

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