It's Me Again..i Need to Vent Posted: 11-12-03 22:01pm
omg!!!!!!! I just got back from a doctors
appointment. No, I did not go on my own
will. My mom made me! She found out I
hadn't eaten in a month and I started
passing out so she went absolutely insane!
Now i've gotta get some blood work done
to make sure all my stuff is working ok,
and I have to go back to the doctor next
week and get the results. He said that if
I drop too much weight between now and
then or something is wrong with one of my
organs, guess where I get to go??? I've
got a one way ticket to the hospital! Do
you know what they're gonna do to me
there????!!?! Put a incredibly feeding
tube down my throat! I just know it!! I
don't want that!!!! Ugh!!! I will not
eat!! They can't make me!! (sorry, just
needed to vent)
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Forum Girl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Oct 2003 Posts: 207 Location: Orlando, Florida
You Are Hurting Yourself Posted: 11-12-03 23:17pm
Oohhhh darling. I know you don't think
so right now but your mom is doing a very
good thing for you. To be blunt, you are
killing yourself. You probably don't
think so at the moment but you are. Your
mother sees it, your doctor sees it, i'm
sure other people in your life see it.
The first thing you have to understand is
that no one, absolutely no one, is happy
with the body they have. Some want to
weigh less, have more muscles, a bigger
chest, smaller thighs, blonde hair,
different nose, etc. I myself am not
happy with my body, there are parts I wish
I could change. But you eventually
realize that this is who you are, people
love you regardless of what you look like
and you learn to accept yourself. There
are days I wish my belly was flatter, my
thighs didn't jiggle as much and on those
days, I work out a little harder and eat a
little healthier and leave it at that.
I've stopped striving for perfection and
settled for being healthy.
You think that not eating will bring you a
better body and happiness. Let me tell
you what it will really do to you. First
off, you will have no energy. Just
walking across the street will make you
tired. Your skin will become sickly
looking, your hair will begin to fall out
and you will get the shakes. If it
continues, your gums will begin to bleed,
your teeth may fall out and your face will
become sunken and hollow. Your internal
organs will begin to shut down (kidneys,
liver, etc) and by the time it gets this
far, death is a very real possibility.
In the end, instead of being more
beautiful and happier, you will have no
hair, very old looking skin, unable to
even stand up and support your own weight.
Stunning picture isn't it?
You have started down a dangerous road
that, unless you change something now,
will lead you to a very early, painful
death. Its a simple fact. People die
from this every day. Think of the things
you would miss out on when you are too
weak to even sit up in bed or worse, you
die. All the christmases left to come,
birthdays, never having children, never
having grandchildren, never traveling to
all the places you've dreamed of
traveling. You will miss out on life.
I watched a very good friend battle
anorexia in high school. It got so bad
her parents sent her to another state to a
treatment center for several months. She
missed out on a lot and this was during
our senior year. She threw away what was
supposed to be the best year of school.
You are right about the doctor. If you
don't start changing things today, you
will end up in the hospital - ivs in your
arms, daily psychologist visits, etc.
And if it got to the point that you needed
a feeding tube, they don't stuff it down
your throat, they make an incision in your
abdomen and put the tube directly into
your stomach. Leaves a nice scar you can
show off during bikini season.
Listen to your mom and listen to your
doctors. They care about you and don't
want you to destroy your life. I don't
want you to destroy your life. Get
yourself help and change things before it
is too late. You don't want to miss out
on the rest of your life. You'll always
regret it.
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kitty_55
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Aug 2003 Posts: 1473 Location: Canada
Sweetie Posted: 11-17-03 02:17am
Hey sweetie..You need to relixe how much
you are hurting yourself..In the future
you will regert it..Just start eatting
alittle at a time..Do you drink enough
water?Start by having an apple or a bannba
or something. I wish you luck of getting
better
alison
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Scaredteen
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Nov 2003 Posts: 3
Re: It's Me Again..i Need to Vent Posted: 11-20-03 22:34pm
Be careful, dont hurt urself, der r more
ways to loose weight if thats wat ur
after, eat healthy eat sumthin, even a lil
dont starve ur self completely, ur mom is
jus lookin out for u she cares bout u and
doesnt wanna see u hurt
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kristina ann bergner
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 23 Location: Sunnyvale, California
Posted: 11-21-03 02:51am
believe me you do not want a feeding tube.
I had one when I was hospitalized 7 years
ago and I still vividly remember it. That
was the most pain I have ever experienced
in my life. Also yu have to eat while on
the tube, so not only are you getting
calories literally shoved down your throat
but you have to eat real food as well.
The bloating and other nasty side effects
are terrible.
I know how it feels to be afraid to eat.
Even after the tube I still have my
periods of starvation. I have struggled
with this disease for 30 years now (i'm
41) and it has cost me so much time,
money, happiness. Still, if I had to do
it over, I don't think I could cahnge what
i've done. That's how strong the voice
inside me, that's telling me I don't
deserve to eat or that i'll get huge &
gross if I do eat, is.
I hear how desperate you are and I don't
know how to help. When I was really down,
no one coul reach me. But at least you
are venting. Try to stay out of the
hospital. Maybe you could begin by
drinking some of that protein stuf, at
least that wouldn't seem as frightening as
real food. Your brain is starved right
now so you can't think straight. Try to
turn yourself over to the doctor & your
family. They don't want you fat,either,
just alive.
I know it's hard to trust.
I'll keep you in my thoughts.
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txbanker
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2003 Posts: 3 Location: Texas
Been There Done That! Posted: 12-03-03 19:31pm
You have been given a lot of good advice
from people you don't know but care
desperately about you. Alot of us have
done the same thing you are doing now and
thank god I am still here to talk about
it. I was 13 when my eating disorder
started. Just like you I didn't eat,
except I did drink 1 pepsi lite a day,
that's it. I am now 43 yrs old and have
battled with bulemia for 30 yrs. I have
had both my hips replaced, one replaced
twice, because of the calcium
deficiencies. My bones started chipping
away. I have been on anti-depressants
for 20 yrs. My heart is suffering and I
worry I will have a heart attack at any
time. I could go on and on about how
this disease has affected my life and my
family. I will never look the way I want
but I have accepted the way I look. I
got off meds and became a vegetarian. I
take vitamins, minerals, and herbs which
have helped the cravings of carbs and
sweets that made me binge. Please listen
to the advise you are given. When I was
your age no one knew about this disease at
least not to talk about it. I'm sure you
are beautiful the way you are and your
family loves you and don't want you going
anywhere. Some of us that have dealt
with this disease for so long are lucky,
others aren't so lucky. You can die from
this disease. Talking to others really
helps......Your not alone........Please
continue to help yourself! :d
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 12-04-03 09:17am
Anorexia nervosa & bulimia etc are
real & they are life threatening but
aside from the fact that people have
survived, there are also some people whose
problems are different, caused by
something different.
My daughter was diagnosed with anorexia
nervosa on 5/5/03 but now another dr is
looking at wider ranging underlying causes
& she is beginning (i pray) to feel
that maybe she can actually survive
this.
I am so sorry you are going through this!
Everyone here has given the same advice I
would give! Right now I am sure you feel
like you do not have a future because you
are so concerned that your weight will
ruin everything for you! But just think
about how sad your mother and family and
friends will be if you die? I hate to be
so blunt, but you will die and have no
future at all. What a waste for such a
young and intelligent person! The future
needs people like you! If you can conquer
this and get well think of what an
inspiration you could be for another young
girl in your shoes right now?!
Don't get better for your mom or the rest
of the world, do it for you! God gave you
this soul and a body to protect it and you
are hurting it and hurting your soul by
beating yourself up with all these
negative thoughts!
I will pray for you and I truly hope you
get well!
omg!!!!!!! I just got back from a doctors
appointment. No, I did not go on my own
will. My mom made me! She found out I
hadn't eaten in a month and I started
passing out so she went absolutely insane!
Now i've gotta get some blood work done
to make sure all my stuff is working ok,
and I have to go back to the doctor next
week and get the results. He said that if
I drop too much weight between now and
then or something is wrong with one of my
organs, guess where I get to go??? I've
got a one way ticket to the hospital! Do
you know what they're gonna do to me
there????!!?! Put a incredibly feeding
tube down my throat! I just know it!! I
don't want that!!!! Ugh!!! I will not
eat!! They can't make me!! (sorry, just
needed to vent)
