I Have Been Bulemic For a Month

Hi sweetheart.
I am sorry for all this. I am glad you have decided to approach this forum.
I must say that I do recognize myself in you. Also I was very athletic, felt !**@! (even thought I wasn't) and thought that people didn't like me cuz I am fat. Than I would see all those "fat" people around and they would have partners and they would look happy...!?
Trust me you don't want to end up 10 years down that line and still have same problems but being more lonely as ever! I have lost most of my friends as people can't deal with this.

1. You will not be able to loose much weight with vomiting. Everything you eat will be stored as energy (fat) as body knows that you are starving it!
2.Acid that you feel coming up is dangerous for your oesohagus and your teeth.
3.If you carry on with this you will lose all energy you have
4.Hair, nails will be damaged and so will your liver and heart
5.Every time you throw up, you are depleting yourself from potassium- depletion can lead to heart attack. I had a minor heart attack and my friend died from it. I was only 16 years old at the time
6.If you carry on for long time you will age differently as body will not be able to come with all this stress. If you carry on for 5 or more years at age of 35 you will look like 55!
7.You will look bloated all the time and generally unhealthy

i really hope you speak with someone about this. Someone proffessional who will be able to give you right guidance before is too late.
Please do it/
speak with your parents! Tell them that you are bit down or something!
Don't go through this all alone.
There is lots of help and support. The reason you have only lost 5kg in 5 months is because your body is storing all the energy as you are starving yourself. If you eat right (!) and supply your body with minerals, proteins, sugars and fats it needs and in same time train- you will loose weight if you need to! Look around: there are soo many people just living their life, eating well and maybe never training- but look amazing!
Please try to get some help.
This is serious...
Please....

You are starting the exact same way as I did, and i've been bulimic for 2 years. My best advice is stop right now while it may still be relativly easy (it never is easy though). Don't fool your self my saying that its just a weight controll method and you could stop at anytime, thats what I did and once you're absorbed in the throwing up you just can't stop. You need to tell someone your feelings, if you don't wanna tell anyone close to you about the bulimia, see a councellor or your doctor. I really hope you're fighting this, and I wish you the best luck ever.

Thank you damsel thank you lilo

i only vomitted once since the day I posted my message and I am so happy I could control myself... I guess that when I got my stomache used to huge quantity of food at one shot , it was hard for me to stop it.. But lately I told a friend about it and asked him to stop me from eating much at night...
I hadn't vomitted in 4days and I think I am doing ok. I am eating normally now..
I just had a septoplasty(removed bump from my nose) yesterday and I have been eating crackers, soups and healthy food(average quanitities since then) and I think my stomache is starting to shrink to normal.. As I really beleive it became large with the huge wquanitity I put in it every night and threw it after...

I will keep you posted of my abstinence from vomitting
and thank you so much for the support!!! Thank you from my heart!!
I did need it seeing that I am an international student with almost nobody supporting me here

thanks!!

I am so glad that your your doing ok, I really do think telling your friend was a good idea. Keep moving forward and please, please, please never look back! Xoxo

Oh I am sooo pleased to hear that you spoke with your friend. Well done!! And such a good good friend you have that has taken this seriously and will able to help you. It is all about the power of mind- something I obviously lack as I am still in this sh*t.

Eat very healthy now so you just get out of this "thinking" and I am sure you will be fine.
Please take care.

Well no vomitting so far.. Haven't done it in 5days now :)
i still have those blurps or gazes coming up (not acids) every now and then but nothing really strong to push me to vomit.. I sure hope these blurps will stop with time.. That's what I tried to describe in my first post( it's not gazes it's like blurps , like those you'd get when u drink coke, it's just that I kept having them with or without drinking coke..)


good luck lilo getting out of what u called sh-t cause it really is so...
Thank you again ,

Hello hun,
what you are doing is extremly dangerous ...It could kill you .. What you are feeling right now is actually normal considering your eating habits if you don't stop it will only get worts . And I know what you are thinking ..I think...You think that who am I tot ell you what is good for you and that iknow what's best and I am practically acting likeit's so easy to stop the thing is it isn't you need help cause it is alomost impossible to stop on your own I am bulimic I have been fro 3 years and I can't stop I see a dr every month for a year now to make sure I am not dying yet.. I tell everyone that it is rong to stop but the thing is I do the same I just know how it feels and I just now that no one deserves this .. What you need to do is go see a dr a ners someone that understands you and that you trust to get help..
I hope you get better if you need any advice or help to get on the right track i,m here
ps: when you vommit a substance comes out of you called potassium that is a substance that makes your heart beat if you make yourself sick to often you will eventually run out of potassium and you will go into cardiac arrest
luv always
katy

Hey katy, how r u , by the way I just posted a big message with advice for you... Cause I actually read your post before I reveiwed mine...

Well the thing is that maybe you're confused about my message... I had posted my message 7 days ago which was the day I stopped vomitting. And even then I had only been bulemic for a month only. So I was bulemic for one month and I had stopped 7 days ago ... And the fellow eheathers were happy for me.. Maybe there was a misunderstanding here...

I had said that I didnt vomit in 6 days and that I have some blurps.. Like those you get when u drink coke, evey now and then, maybe cause my stomach is still hurt from the one-month-bulemia..
I am doing ok now, I dont feel any urge to vomit... Read my message for you, it might help :)

It's hard to believe but I have been bulemic for 33 years. I began when I was 15; i'm now 48. I believe the key to stopping is to quit before you do it too long. It becomes difficult to stop once you start. I believe that its about conrolling the food and your body because, for whatever reason, dieting and eating healthy amounts of food become overwhelming--that is what I found my problem to be. I can't control the urge to eat which is largely due to stress and anxiety. There is medication for that which helps the bulemia a lot. I did better when I was on paxil. I haven't taken it for 6 years and because I think I can control it, I never seem to make it to the hospital. I had stopped for a year (last year) and find that once I start it's difficult to quit. It will consume your life; break the cycle now and find help with your weight. I use to live to eat and vomit. It started as desperation to get food out of my stomach when I broke a diet for the millionth time. I was very angry with myself for overeating and tried to control it by vomiting. It was a constant cycle like needing a drug. I was so bulimic as a teenager that I had a small trash can that I kept lined in my bedroom closet so I could eat whatever I wanted then vomit. I would vomit then time it for 2 hours then vomit. I knew if I got to 3 hours that I couldn't get it all out. I would study the temperature of drinks that would help purge it all. All I thought about was eating and vomitting--period. I would fill that trash can everyday then take it to the woods and pour it out. Twice, I saw a racoon eating my vomit. How strange. It distorts your view on so many things and you find that you have no room for healthy things in your life because of this obsession. I will also tell you that you will get thin when you are young but if you live long, like I am, it doesn't work anymore. I believe the body thinks you are going to starve it so it consumes the contents faster. Also, I got to the point where I couldn't stand to vomit and waited as long as possible because I couldn't bring myself to do it. Then, when I did, there wasn't much to purge. The one thing that I found helps me, but I have to make an effort to do it, is to think hard how I feel when I am vomiting. It is such a gross feeling--not worth the food that is vomited. I do ok when I stop myself to think about the act of purging.

well ive been bulemic from 13. im now near 17. im a boy. i had everything i ever wanted before i did it i was one of the best gaelic footballers in my county was popular and really fit. at christmas i decided id be sick so i didnt gain weight. i dont have to put me fingers down me throught i can jus bring everything i ate rite back up. i lost 4 stonne and told i was gona die if i didnt eat. i was 7 stone an i was 6ft. so u can imagine wat i looked like. ders no clinics in northern ireland so i had nowhere to go. i was told i was the worst in brittian. i was unable to go to school but still passed 4 of my gcses. my teeth are completely ruined. i wised up for about 6 months got discharged from my councellor. during this time i met a wonderful girl who im now in love withh dont no if she feels da same but hey. i told her wat i had an she seemed to like me more. but now its all coming back and im afraid of losing evrything again. im so depressed an cry all the time an jus wish dat it would all end sometimes. please someone give me some advice.

I am bulimic and I don't know how to stop being bulimic..I mean everyone makes me feel bad cause im fat..and when they do it..it doesn't make me feel any better...I'm 18 and I don't know how to stop

im 16 years old, and for the past 6 months i have been throwing up a whole lot. I am so sick of being the fat girl. i've grown up larger my whole life. My mother constantly throws it in my face that she thinks im a fat person (shes a very very large person herself.). and I dont think its very motherlike of her to do this. I weigh around 160 pounds now..im 5'7 and Im play softball and basketball, Im very athletic, and i have alot of muscle, which i hate by the way because it makes my weight higher. My boyfriend tells me that im not fat, and that im beautiful, but its so hard to believe him. and I know thats horrible to say that you think your boyfriend would lie to you but i have grown up in such a household that no matter what, im always going to be the fat girl. Everyone tells me that my mother is just jealous. She takes alot of things out on me, no matter what it is. I try hard to eat healthy, and i get my exercise through sports. But I still think im fat, and Im always going to be fat no matter what. ive tried dieting, and those havent worked for me. Im also a cutter, and Ive had this problem for about 3 years now. and im afraid im going to end up kiling myself one of these days. But since ive been throwing up, ive kept my weight down alot more. I lost about 25 pounds in two weeks. I want to keep this up. My mother still does not know about my cutting, and she has no idea about me throwing up, but im so scared that shes going to hear me someday. because I throw up between 2-5 times a day. Some days I wont throw up at all, but thats only because I havent even eaten that day. I feel really depressed about my life, and I just want to see a phycologist, because I feel like I do need help. But im so scared to tell my mom that im bulimic and a cutter, because she already is dissappointed in me, an she thinks im a failure, and if she knows about this, she will just lose all trust in me, and probley just wash her hands of me. Im just looking for help, and some good adivice. I have talked to my friend, and he says get some help as soon as I can. But I have no way of getting help, without hurting my family. Im scared. and Im alone at this. Please, somebody whose been here. What did you do to get help.

Ok ladies................maybe this will enlighten you. As if you have not already damaged your esophogus and stomach lining......that little falp (not srue what its called medically) can flip at any moment...........then you'd choke on your own barf. Its a CONTORL thing.......its the one thing you feel you have control over. Fillegirl, I feel you finally gained back your control and I am so ery proud of you. I did this exact same thing 30 years ago..............I'd eat, feel guilty and blow chunks....I was never satisfied with my weight, I saw my self as FAT.....but I only weighed 110 pounds at 5'5. I finally learned this control things for a therapy class.....and I was not about to let this take me over like cigarettes had done.....I kicked that habit too in 1991! Filliegirl, you stated you were eating healthy and working out and the weight was coming off slowly....this is a GOOD THING. Just know when enough is enough......You go girlfriend..always here to back you up! HUGS!

fillegirl i am so glad to see your entries... its like, i dont know, a hope maybe? My situation is quite similar, think i have been bullaemic for about a month? I am an international student as well, i have been plump as a child but i lost weight when i was 17 and stayed skinny for about 3 years (am 20 now), that was UNTIL last december, when everything started to go WRONG. Very wrong.
I was doing a project at that time and i got really stressed and started to comfort-eat. Then i went home for christmas, continued to comfort eat. Then i came back to the UK in janurary feeling !**@! because i have gained 5 kg. However i got used to eating loads of snacks and just couldnt stop. I have started purging for just a bit over a month, have told myself a hundred times that i would stop it but its still on-and-off. I havent vomited for 3 days, until today where i went out for lunch with a friend, came back and thought 'oh well i have already gone overboard with that lunch and i might as well eat as much as i want now'. Then i ate everything i had at home and threw up again.
Well... I know its hard to stop this on my own, but, I will try again tomorrow. No, i mean, I will be able to do it tomorrow. I will, definitely.
And no i am not brave enough to tell anyone about this. I cant even make myself to go to the GP coz i am a bloody medical student and i am afraid i will get kicked out of my school if they find out. Ironic huh.

When I was young I had the reverse problem. I used to be anorexic looking skinny and no matter how much I eat I couldn't gain weight. I used to eat eat eat and nothing. I was frustated because I knew I looked ugly that much skinny (and certainly guys didn't looked at me) so I was desperate to gain weight. So one day I decided to join a gym because I learned that if I could increase muscle size I could gain weight that way. And long and behold I did gained the weight I wanted. With the gym I was more hungry and little by little I was able to gain 25 pounds(took me a whole year of much eating and heavy weight training) and that totally changed the way I looked. When I get sick I worry because I loose weight very quickly and I hate to loose weight. Now as I'm older my metabolism has slowed down and I can gain weight quicker so I'm happy about that. I really feel so sorry for those who suffer of these eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia. When I think of anorexia I think of the daughter of the Versace's and I think my god with so many millions of dollars this girl is dying of hunger by choice. With that much money I would be eating in a high class fancy restaurant every day of my life. I would have my own chef to cook for me food I love every day...I hope you guys find a cure and are able to enjoy life.

This is the first time I have ever said anything to anyone about having an eating disorder. This is the first time I have truly admitted it to myself. I am terrified... I have been bulimic for 2 years. I can't even remember how it happened. I used to be happy and had it all together, then I started losing weight and got obsessed with losing it. People kept telling me how great I was looking and the more I vomited the more weight I lost and the more compliments I got. No one in my life knows about this issue and I think about it all the time. I love myself, or at least I used to, and I can't believe I am doing this to myself and more importantly, to my family. It is so incredibly selfish. Everyone thinks I have it all together, but I'm such a wreck. Anyway, I could really use some advice... I feel like I'm sinking. Even now I can only reach out online using a fake name. Who did I turn into?

If I fight the urge to vomit will it finally go away... Will I stop having these cravings to just binge. It's weird I NEVER thought this would happen to me, the first time I did it I thought it would just be a one time thing... I say that it's my last time EVERYTIME I do it which is ATLEAST 1 a week usually 3x a week.

I want to be healthy, what is wrong with me I'm not even fat!