What Is It?

I feel like I don’t know what i’m doing its like i’m in a dream I cant look at myself in the mirror or other peoples faces when I wake up its like the same thing everyday the same sounds same people and I even do the same thing everyday I feel as thou i’m not even living anymore and it scares me so bad that I have really bad anxiety and panic attacks cause I don’t know what it is and i’ve been stuck in my room for like a year now sleeping a lot and sometimes I cant even sleep at all I feel as thou I don’t know that i’m talking sometimes and i’m very irritable to sounds plus I tend to lash out on people cause i’m so mad cause iv been living this way for so long and still cant figure out what’s wrong with me and sometimes I have these crazy thoughts about knocking somebody out and I don’t know why it seems the my brain cant perceive things or process things I see or hear its like my brain cant handle it and it causes me not to be able to function right and have all these weird feelings like i’m out there in a fog or something its like i’m never goanna be back to feeling better again I feel that iv damaged something that cant be fixed and I don’t know how I did it cause I never did any drugs or anything like that or had a really bad past or anything it feels as thou I have something physically wrong as well cause even when i’m not feeling anxiety or a panic attack or depression there is still something wrong like i’m in a dream or something like I cant talk cause its such a task cause it feels so weird and it just wont go away its like I have so much wrong with me and I have not had a job or hardly any kind of contact with other people and plus i’ve been in my house for like almost a year it feels as thou its too late for me like its goanna be like this forever that there isn’t any help for it cause if there were they would have already helped me instead of me being like this for so long and nothing has changed but I keep going on hoping one day it will all go away so I can live a better life the life I should be living cause i’m only 21 and I feel like i’m 80 or something