I feel like I don’t know what i’m
doing its like i’m in a dream I cant
look at myself in the mirror or other
peoples faces when I wake up its like the
same thing everyday the same sounds same
people and I even do the same thing
everyday I feel as thou i’m not even
living anymore and it scares me so bad
that I have really bad anxiety and panic
attacks cause I don’t know what it is
and i’ve been stuck in my room for like
a year now sleeping a lot and sometimes I
cant even sleep at all I feel as thou I
don’t know that i’m talking sometimes
and i’m very irritable to sounds plus I
tend to lash out on people cause i’m so
mad cause iv been living this way for so
long and still cant figure out what’s
wrong with me and sometimes I have these
crazy thoughts about knocking somebody
out and I don’t know why it seems the my
brain cant perceive things or process
things I see or hear its like my brain
cant handle it and it causes me not to be
able to function right and have all these
weird feelings like i’m out there in a
fog or something its like i’m never
goanna be back to feeling better again I
feel that iv damaged something that cant
be fixed and I don’t know how I did it
cause I never did any drugs or anything
like that or had a really bad past or
anything it feels as thou I have something
physically wrong as well cause even when
i’m not feeling anxiety or a panic
attack or depression there is still
something wrong like i’m in a dream or
something like I cant talk cause its such
a task cause it feels so weird and it just
wont go away its like I have so much wrong
with me and I have not had a job or hardly
any kind of contact with other people and
plus i’ve been in my house for like
almost a year it feels as thou its too
late for me like its goanna be like this
forever that there isn’t any help for it
cause if there were they would have
already helped me instead of me being like
this for so long and nothing has changed
but I keep going on hoping one day it will
all go away so I can live a better life
the life I should be living cause i’m
only 21 and I feel like i’m 80 or
something
|
babygiraffe123
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 May 2005 Posts: 7
I Know the Feeling Posted: 06-22-05 08:39am
Hello, I understand fully what you're
going through, since I am living with
depression, as well. I have had a
terrible life so far and I am only 23
years old. When I was 5 years old, I was
sexually assaulted by my mom's brother in
law, then he turned around and killed my
aunt (his wife) when she confronted him
about it. I have also suffered through my
father's alcohol problem, an extremely
abusive so called best friend, the death
of my grandmother in 2000, being the
school nerd for years, and not getting
along with my family. I have been on
effexor for 4 years, tried counselling,
psychiatrists, and even attempted suicide
3 times. All got me nowhere and I am
still living the nightmare. But if u ever
need some1 to talk to, my name's caroline
and I am at: baby
giraffe123@yahoo.Ca
i am always looking 4 ppl w/ depression to
talk with.
|
Ryanlyme
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Apr 2006 Posts: 7 Location: Maryland, USA
Ssdd Posted: 09-06-06 16:38pm
Same caca different day, right? Like
your being pulled through every day, not
walking, and the days are blending
together. I have only a little more
awareness than I do in my dreams, and I
question reality and my existence often.
