I feel like I donât know what iâm doing its like iâm in a dream I cant look at myself in the mirror or other peoples faces when I wake up its like the same thing everyday the same sounds same people and I even do the same thing everyday I feel as thou iâm not even living anymore and it scares me so bad that I have really bad anxiety and panic attacks cause I donât know what it is and iâve been stuck in my room for like a year now sleeping a lot and sometimes I cant even sleep at all I feel as thou I donât know that iâm talking sometimes and iâm very irritable to sounds plus I tend to lash out on people cause iâm so mad cause iv been living this way for so long and still cant figure out whatâs wrong with me and sometimes I have these crazy thoughts about knocking somebody out and I donât know why it seems the my brain cant perceive things or process things I see or hear its like my brain cant handle it and it causes me not to be able to function right and have all these weird feelings like iâm out there in a fog or something its like iâm never goanna be back to feeling better again I feel that iv damaged something that cant be fixed and I donât know how I did it cause I never did any drugs or anything like that or had a really bad past or anything it feels as thou I have something physically wrong as well cause even when iâm not feeling anxiety or a panic attack or depression there is still something wrong like iâm in a dream or something like I cant talk cause its such a task cause it feels so weird and it just wont go away its like I have so much wrong with me and I have not had a job or hardly any kind of contact with other people and plus iâve been in my house for like almost a year it feels as thou its too late for me like its goanna be like this forever that there isnât any help for it cause if there were they would have already helped me instead of me being like this for so long and nothing has changed but I keep going on hoping one day it will all go away so I can live a better life the life I should be living cause iâm only 21 and I feel like iâm 80 or something
Hello, I understand fully what you're going through, since I am living with depression, as well. I have had a terrible life so far and I am only 23 years old. When I was 5 years old, I was sexually assaulted by my mom's brother in law, then he turned around and killed my aunt (his wife) when she confronted him about it. I have also suffered through my father's alcohol problem, an extremely abusive so called best friend, the death of my grandmother in 2000, being the school nerd for years, and not getting along with my family. I have been on effexor for 4 years, tried counselling, psychiatrists, and even attempted suicide 3 times. All got me nowhere and I am still living the nightmare. But if u ever need some1 to talk to, my name's caroline .
i am always looking 4 ppl w/ depression to talk with.
Same !**@! different day, right? Like your being pulled through every day, not walking, and the days are blending together. I have only a little more awareness than I do in my dreams, and I question reality and my existence often.