Anxiety And Boyfriend/marriage Posted: 05-29-05 12:07pm
I feel so stressed out! Nervous! And
sick!....I am so nervous about my current
relationship with my boyfriend of 5
years....A long time...I dont know if I
will be happy marrying him...I love him
sooo much, care about him soooo much and
would do anything for him. It is really
hard to explain how I feel and to describe
the whole scenario. Ive always had
anxiety since I can remember and I hate
it!...The thing is that I can spend a
day/night with him out and feel good but
then if I stay with him overnight (sleep
at his house)and wake up in the morning
next to him, I get upset stomachs, I feel
nautious and nervous!....I just feel wrong
and dirty and just not complete. I just
feel like a mess. And then its hard to
get the day started. My energy just
drains and I feel slow. And just worried.
And I start to think about my future, my
job and my family. I guess the feeling
comes partly because I feel guilty about
being with him as my family does not
really like him, and there I am with him.
I feel like they must think I am dirty for
being with him, although we dont really
'do it'. I just think he is not as mature
as I would prefer, I mean he can get into
fights if someone really angers him off
and he will say things like 'theyr gonna
get it, watch!". And then he will put
himself in danger oversomething stupid
because his pride is too high!. I hate
that! I hate fights! I hate the idea of
someone getting hurt. He is very smart
though.However, he is also more of a party
goer, he drinks, then he passes out alllll
night long right beside me and I just dont
feel right. Im more serious but like to
have a safe and fun time. I dont really
get drunk.I hate feeling sick! I like to
be healthy and positive and in a clean
environment. I dont like to feel like a
junkie. And I feel all this when I am
with him. But I dont know what is wrong
with me. I dont want to lose him either.
I really do feel soo close to him and can
tell him anything, and I dont think any
other guy can take his place. Im sooo
confused!...This whole situation brings
sooooooo much anxiety to my life like you
wont believe!.....We do talk about
marriage and future and all...I do say
yes...But I dont want that anytime soon
because so much uncertainty....So
stressed..........
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Sarah_P
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 May 2005 Posts: 5 Location: USA
Posted: 05-29-05 13:19pm
Hey,
its a normal thing to feel upset and
nervous no one knows what tomorrow will
bring and that scares a lot of people.
You can't look 20 years down the road and
know that you are still going to be with
your boyfriend. Talk to him about his
drinking and tell him that it hurts you
when he does that. And for your family,
if they see that you are happy and that
you love him they should support you.
Thats all anyone should want for you is to
be happy. Don't worry about getting
married now, when the time comes - when
the question is asked if you need to wait.
Tell him that you are not ready. It will
come to you what you want to do. When you
feel complete then you are ready to make
that choice and it will come with time. I
wish you the best of luck :)
