I feel so stressed out! Nervous! And sick!....I am so nervous about my current relationship with my boyfriend of 5 years....A long time...I dont know if I will be happy marrying him...I love him sooo much, care about him soooo much and would do anything for him. It is really hard to explain how I feel and to describe the whole scenario. Ive always had anxiety since I can remember and I hate it!...The thing is that I can spend a day/night with him out and feel good but then if I stay with him overnight (sleep at his house)and wake up in the morning next to him, I get upset stomachs, I feel nautious and nervous!....I just feel wrong and dirty and just not complete. I just feel like a mess. And then its hard to get the day started. My energy just drains and I feel slow. And just worried. And I start to think about my future, my job and my family. I guess the feeling comes partly because I feel guilty about being with him as my family does not really like him, and there I am with him. I feel like they must think I am dirty for being with him, although we dont really 'do it'. I just think he is not as mature as I would prefer, I mean he can get into fights if someone really angers him off and he will say things like 'theyr gonna get it, watch!". And then he will put himself in danger oversomething stupid because his pride is too high!. I hate that! I hate fights! I hate the idea of someone getting hurt. He is very smart though.However, he is also more of a party goer, he drinks, then he passes out alllll night long right beside me and I just dont feel right. Im more serious but like to have a safe and fun time. I dont really get drunk.I hate feeling sick! I like to be healthy and positive and in a clean environment. I dont like to feel like a junkie. And I feel all this when I am with him. But I dont know what is wrong with me. I dont want to lose him either. I really do feel soo close to him and can tell him anything, and I dont think any other guy can take his place. Im sooo confused!...This whole situation brings sooooooo much anxiety to my life like you wont believe!.....We do talk about marriage and future and all...I do say yes...But I dont want that anytime soon because so much uncertainty....So stressed..........