Hello all, I am happy I found this forum so I have a chance of meeting some people who can relate with what I am going through. I am 25 years old and for a year now I am having big anxiety problems. It's going to be a little long and I 'm sorry if you get tired reading it. I just want you to get the whole picture.

It all started one year ago. That time 3 friends of my parents got cancer and I started researching for the illness. I also remember in my late teens to be having anxiety problems with my health but they aren't worth mentioning. So I researched for this disease and I read a lot of things about it. Then one day I started having these pains around my stomach , nothing big but still unpleasant little sharp pains. Then my back started to ache, then I started feeling cold. This went on for 25 consecutive days and I was so miserable. I thought I had some kind of cancer. I went to the doctor and I took a blood test and some scans and everything was fine. Pains stopped 1 day after the results.

3 months later I got a headache. I started thinking about it and I thought it was a brain tumour even though the only symptom I had was a slight headache. This went on for 18 days , where I was in a very bad psychological state and very miserable. I did some scans on my head and after the good results , the headache stopped.

2 months later I got another 12 day headache , but this time I avoiding getting another scan. Instead I went on a trip with my girlfriend and the headache stopped.

1 month later, I started having dyspepsia for some reason , maybe a virus or something. I thought I had stomach cancer and with my anxiety the discomfort went on for a month. I got some scans and blood tests and everything was fine. The pains stopped along with the dyspepsia.

2 weeks ago , a girl did a blow job to me and with her teeth irritated my skin. The next day I started freaking out that I might have gotten aids from her even though no blood from me came out , and we had no other sexual contact. I started reading about the aids symptoms , and now I am experience them one by one. I went to see 6 doctors the past 10 days and all are telling me that the chances I might have been infected from her(if she is infected) are little to none, but this can't calm me down. I am stressed 24/7 and I can't seem to relax. I now have symptoms like frequent headaches (in the back of my head, numbness on back of the neck), diarrhea, sweats and a constant feeling of a lump in my throat. Are these anxiety symptoms ? Because I am relating them to aids and I am really freaking out. The doctors said to me that aids symptoms do not happen so soon ( I have them since day 5 after the episode) but I am afraid they are saying that to me only to get me relax. I know I have to wait 3 months to get tested for aids and this by itself stresses me even more.

I had psychotherapy in the past but it didn't work out, but maybe I didn't give it much time. I am against any medication, but I am afraid that my situation keeps getting worse.

I have no idea what to do, is there anybody else here that can relate to these feelings? Sometimes I feel that I am all alone in the world, that nobody understands what I am going through :( . Any advice , or anything would be nice.


Thank you