Don't know the difference between "normal" bipolar and "acute bipolar mania"...It's nowhere on the web. I've been dating this great guy for 3 months, best relationship ever, talking about meeting families, treats me like a princess...Same old bipolar story, I guess, from what i've been reading? Tells me a few weeks ago he tried to kill himself in college (4 years ago), and he goes on bad 'highs' and 'lows'. He tells me he wants to work on being more emotional, because most of the time he'll feel an emotion and then he'll rationalize it as unimportant. He then reveals that he's been fine until this past january where he had suicidal thoughts once again. But, no mention of bipolar. Just "ups and downs".
He goes on a business trip for 5 days, flies back to go to dinner with my friends from out of town, he's drinking and super tired/jet-lagged. He is very misbehaved at dinner, not looking at my friends, and said a very rude comment to me, which he apologized for once he realized it hurt me. The apology seemed very sincere, and somehow seemed worrisome? Like he was worried about something? He was talking a lot, and I just thought he was drinking and overtired. Then he spilled wine on someone and excused himself, after whispering to me over and over about how he needed sleep and needed to leave. He was very concerned and anxious. The next morning he reveals that the doctors diagnosed him with "acute bipolar mania". He kind of said it with a laugh, so I didn't know how serious this statement was. I asked him if he was on meds and he said no he's fine. He said " I don't know if i've been manic around you yet..." and the phone rang, so the conversation ended and I went home.
I hadn't really been with him for a week because of his trip. I tell him 4 days later that I don't know why it seems like all of a sudden he doesn't want to see me. I not yelling, just concerned. He's confused by this. Doesn't know what i'm talking about. He asks me to "be very clear" with him. I tell him it just seems like he's been like a different person lately, because usually he wants to see me all the time. This seems to really disturb him. He asks "how long"...I tell him really just since he left for the trip, but i'd been feeling a little strangely now for about two weeks. He told me after awhile that I sounded like a chorus of every person in his life. And he felt stupid, and like a loser, and thinks he should not drink.
Then, he says that i'm right, and he must have been "subconsciously avoiding me" because there's something "missing" for him. What?! I've never given him a hard time about anything before. He hadn't really done anything that wrong....Every boyfriend i've ever had has said or done something rude, or I have!, at one point or another. I thought i'd bring it to his attention, he'd recognize it, apologize, and we'd have fabulous make-up sex. He says "now that you mention it, I wouldn't have known it. I realize i've been thinking about this for awhile and I don't have those feelings for you". Said it so calm and matter of factly. I cried and cried and he just sat and stared at me, watched me cry. Wouldn't touch me. I said I didn't understand, you don't break up like this, so suddenly...We've never had a problem before. And, he said, that disturbed him too...That we don't really "connect". Before this all he said was how great we connected!
He was mostly calm, like devoid of emotion...Like he was intellectualizing his feelings too much. And, intermittently in conversation, he'd flair up and get highly irritated with me, and I felt like we weren't even talking about the same thing. I went to touch his arm and he cringed! He told me calmly that he sometimes can't be touched. He called me later to apologize for for hurting me and he'd be around if I wanted to call. I decided not to call and wait it out. He wrote me after 5 days and again apologized for hurting me, but thinks its for the best. I wrote him back. He called me and sounded very quiet and down and was very appreciative that I wrote him. He sounded like he was crying. I thought he'd want to work it out, but again insisted against it. He just told me days before how much he cared about me and how beautiful....
So, we ended the conversation with me crying, him sobbing, crying. Him saying he needs to "think about it". So, I just figured, I can't force him to be in a relationship, and I don't want him to get depressed...I dropped off his stuff on his doorstep that night with a very nice note, saying I understand mostly, but it hurts, and i'm sad, and i'm sorry, and I know he is too, and i'll see him again. It's been 3 days and no word. He's supposed to leave for a long road trip in a week. I was supposed to meet him 1/2 way and spend a couple weeks with his family. We've been planning it for a month.
Can I expect him to bounce out of this? What does it do to a bipolar person when you react so strongly? It hurts so much, because he doesn't yell, he just gets unreasonable. And overly intellectual. And how do you throw such a good thing away so easily? If he doesn't call, do I assume it is me and not the illness? How can you tell?? What is the difference between "normal" (if you can call it that) bipolar and "acute bipolar mania"?
Thank you eveyone who actually read all of this...
Last edited by soconfused77 on May 27th, 2005 04:02 AM; edited 2 times in total
I'm new to bipolar disorder and have lots of questions as well. My 65 year old husband has been recently diagnosed. We've been together almost 20 years and he's had mild manic episodes. But, the last year has been something else! He's been manic most of the time and has displayed a lot of unacceptable behavior. We're retired and I feel like hell....I thought retirement was supposed to be the "golden years" of my life. I'm hanging in there hoping to find answers just like you. Good luck in your quest for answers!
I've been reading everything I can get my hands on. Like everything, some applies and some doesn't. It seems the key to this disease is getting the right combo of meds. Arrgh! He's tried lithium and the side effects were as bad as the condition. He's on something new now. Hope it works.
Take care of yourself first though....Only then can you help him.
im 23 now i been years without a psychotic episode but i also need help! i believe im in remission and this is gonna peak its ugly head for the second it takes to run my life but i wanna know it from both sides prove me right and wrong.
i had a psychotherapist that perscribed me depakote another one that a gave sariquell and lithium and my regular theapist gave me zoloft. but at age 14 i could of opened my own pharamcy takin 1750mg of depakote at night i dont know the mg of the lithium because it was dispensed by my maid but they were 2 of the orangeish/tan circles. the seriquel i would take 3 times a day 200mg before school 400 at lunch and 200 before dinner. the zoloft seeemed kinda pointless but they were the 10mg ones.
after doin this for about 4 years i started to be able to controll not just my actions but my emotions and my emotions to the right situation(sad when i should of been sad instead of getting mad)
after i was coming to this conclusion i made possibly the worst or best mistake in my life. i started sell medicating thinking if the condition is an imbalance then i need to get the right ones in there faster to organize the switchboard per say. that was the worst mistake always follow medical advise i ended worse then when i started so when that didn't work i thought i would try a different type of "medicine" i was giving myself moderate doses of lsd every 2 days and in 3 months of doing that i saw significant results way above that of the medicine i was told to take. could the lsd physically changed some type of makeup in the part where the disorder was residing?
i hope this all gets read this seems like an understanding board and my methods wont be an attack at my intelligence. i honestly belive medicating is the way to go even tho some side effects you gotta put up with can be annoying in a way like when the depakote finally built up in my system i always felt like my shadow was following me and had his hand on my shoulder w/o there physically being nothing there.
i hope my experience could of added at the least another opinion into helping your husband you never know where your going to find the key that fits that psychological lock but it dont matter where you find it as long as it opens it thus the reason of my honesty. now onto me lol could i have some insight on my affliction i call it this because it messed up my life from 13yrs-18yrs stopping as quick as it started and i know repressed memory syndrom has an average of 5 years before the knowledge that was hudden from tradiy can be re admissed by a hyptnotherapist. its been 5 years now am i about to back into episode city ruining me life when i thoght i just fixed it ? apologisies for all of the spelling mistakes im using my coders board and the keys are not mapped correctly yet, but i got to say what i wanted to say i just needa hear that answer before this paranoia of a remession turns onto something worse =/ ty for your time reading and god bless to thoes who reply to me!
I have just started abilify for this. He may want to ask the pdoc about this. Have someone go with his to the appointment to explain the situations. This can help. It made a big difference iin my life, but too me a long time to explain to my pdoc because I was confused an in a manic state.
I read your post and I immeditely sent a big hug out to you, so to speak, my heart goes out to you.
I dated a man with bipolar disorder for almost 2 years, and it was the best of times and the worst of times I have experienced in my life
but that is my story. I thank you for sharing your thoughts,
for my now ex, he broke up with me early on in the relationship,and it came from nowhere, the days before were fantastic, fun,
and he came to my house with my stuff, and said he had to break up with me, I was crying and crying, and totally thrown off,
then he said, we don't have to breakup, he said he couldn't see me cry like that, I guess part of it was I was confused, re: some of the crying.
I did not know anything about bipolar prior, like when is it a chemical imbalance, and when is it just the personality?
Long story short, my ex became paranoid,delsuional, thinking I was sleeping around, saying all these rideclus things about me
i am a great person, and I am honest,direct, annyways
he kept throwing me for a loop, and I wanted to get off the rollarcoaster ride, I just cried and cried yesterday, it hurts still.
I loved this man, he treated me like a princess, like the most beautiful woman in the world, when he was feeling fine
when he was not, I somehow became a prostitute, and he started screaming
to me about really stupid unimportant stuff.
Again, this may be other issues going on for him, but I know he has bp because he seeks a psychairtist, and I have seen his medication.
Thanks for reading, and for you writing,
best of luck, I am sorry you are in pain, and confused
bless you heart
Old posts, but they touch my heart, I wonder what happened to all these people whose stories are a carbon copy of mine... Break ups out of nowhere, saying he doesnt love me... saying next how much he cares, but cannot love me...going out with someone else just to come back to me again and again... rages for nothings...strange mistifying behaviour, hurting words, unnacceptable attention to other women in front of me,writting emails like mad and phoning at all times, only to disappear for days on end, coming back to phone me and wanting to see me, emotional roller coaster, sadness for all that he has done but not coming back, I have now read mostly of the posts in this forum, lots of books on Bipolar and I think that the traits are all the same, but what to do when you love someone so much and he behaves like an alien.