I felt suicidal too sometimes. Remember: your problems and troubles are temporary but death is permanent!
You're just going through a rough time. There was a time when I thought I would never cure myself but it happened :)
good luck to you

For feck's sake,i have written this reply about three times and I have managed to delete it three times !! So here goes:
you cannot give up.You have to beat this and I know that you can.And when you do,you will become a wonderful counsellor in marino and help people who are in similar positions to you and i.Please do not give up.Look how far you have come.And you have ome far.I am not going to deny that you had a sh*t week but don'tmake it sh*tter by giving in.The world is a sad sad place since it lost those two beatiful people,and the five girls from navan.Can you imagine how much sadder it would be if you lost your battle too ? I have never met you,ony emailed you and I love your personality !! You have such a great sense of humour and to be honest,it sends a shiver down my spine to think that you might not make.Please don't give in.You are too brilliant to die from this.Think of what you want to do in life.Travel,move in with me(hehe),become a counsellor.Your talents and the possibilities are endless.Never ever doubt that you can beat this.You are a beautifully,brilliant person and i'll be so p*ssed at you if you die and we never get to do yoga or our volunteer work or move in.Please don't give up.

Come on now! You are stronger then that! You need to talk to a professional. You need some help and there is nothing wrong with that as we all need help sometime in our lives, just go to mental health and ask and I am not trying to say that you are crazy.
Good luck!
Keep us posted, please!
Sincerely,
sandy

I have been in similar situation. My family was in war situation and I had no contact with any of them for 3 years. Only news I would get is when someone got injured and when someone died. But you have to have a hope. Hope for the better life. I remember when I was younger I did so many silly things and wanted to end my life- but I am soo grateful I am still here so I can tell people about my lovely once so they don't get forgotten. And that is your purpose in life: to protect yourself from the pain they have been through and to tell people and children about your friends inner beauty and kindness- who will otherwise.
Life is amazing.
Give it a chance to feel it. You have to be open for it.
You see how this is affected you- with you feeling bad it would affect even many more. Please be strong and give life a chance. You have to. Everyone deserves it.

I don't know if this will help, but i'm going to post the lyrics of one of my favorite singers delta goodrems songs and maybe it will make sense to you, because we are all here for you, even if that doens't mean much now. I am no stronger than you, no one is, it just takes time I guess.

'be strong'

are you swimming upstream in oceans of blue?
Do you feel like your sinking?
Are you sick of the rain after all you've been through?
Well I know what you're thinking
when you can't take it
you can make it
sometime soon I know you'll see

'cause when your in you're darkest hour
and all of the light just fades away
when you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray
well hang on and be strong

where taking each step one day at a time
you can't loose your spirit
let live and let live forget and forgive
it's all how you see it
and just remember keep it together
don't you know you're never alone

'cause when you're in your darkest hour
and all of the light just fades away
when you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray
well hang on, and be strong

no you're not defeated
and soon you'll be smiling once again
then you won't have to feel it
let it go with the wind
time passes us by
and know that you're aloud to cry

'cause when you're in your darkest hour
and all of the light just fades away
when you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray
well hang on and be strong