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Cannot Seem to Orgasm Vaginally

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I've been seeing my girlfriend for some time now and I cannot seem to give her a vaginal orgasm. She's fine clitorally but when it comes to vaginal orgasms she just cannot seem to do it. She's tried to get there individually and with others but she says its never happened. I've never run into a problem like this and despite my best efforts I cannot seem to get anywhere. Though she says vaginal stimulation "feels good" after a bit she says it just puts pressure on her bladder. Any advice would be welcome.

Mark
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First Helper Granps
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replied May 25th, 2005
Experienced User
Re: Cannot Seem to Orgasm Vaginally
snowboardheaven wrote:
i've been seeing my girlfriend for some time now and I cannot seem to give her a vaginal orgasm. She's fine clitorally but when it comes to vaginal orgasms she just cannot seem to do it. She's tried to get there individually and with others but she says its never happened. I've never run into a problem like this and despite my best efforts I cannot seem to get anywhere. Though she says vaginal stimulation "feels good" after a bit she says it just puts pressure on her bladder. Any advice would be welcome.


Mark


my wife and I have to have intercourse while she uses a small vibrator on her clitoris. This is the only way she can cum. The best positions for this are doggystyle (but no for a long time, her arm will get tired) or her on her back, one leg on your shoulder and the other off to the side. This gives her access to the clit while you can pound it. It also has an added bonus for you of having a vibrating vagina. Trust me, it feels great and you will find it harder to control ejaculations.
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replied May 26th, 2005
Experienced User
Trust me it is an issue with many women, we don't really get off on the activity going on inside, its all it clitoral stimulation, though sex feels good still, just there usually has to be something going on outside too (like a viberater, or even maybe letting her guide you to the right spot and you rubbing her during intercourse) don't take it like your doing something wrong, it is possible without clitoral activity going on to orgasm but trust me my boyfriend has to work up a sweat to give it to me, and usually the man will cum way before the women ever will. :)
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replied May 28th, 2005
Experienced User
Cannot Seem to Orgasm Vaginally
Have him go down and y'all follow these suggestions....
Build up the intensity level gradually with foreplay. Once you're into it, use your whole face. Bury yourself in her !**@!, get your tongue in as far as possible, use your nose for more pressure. Not only does this feel good physically, it lets her know you are really into her taste and smell. Hint: if your eyelids aren't sticky, you're not doing it right.
Insert two fingers in her vagina while licking her clit. Curl those fingers up towards your tongue, capturing her clit and g-spot between your mouth and fingers. As your tongue licks up pull down with your fingers; get a rhythm going
let your lover straddle your face. If lying back to be licked is too passive for her, let her hop on top. From there she can control the pressure and area of contact. To make this position even more fun, get tied down to the bed before she mounts you, and maybe she'll even boss you around with firm directives: "stick your tongue out!", "open your mouth!" "suck it boy", and so on. Bottomy munchers will, well, lick it up.
Mix it up. If all you do is lick up and down, up and down, ("fencepainting"), chances are that it'll get boring to your partner after a while. Vary your movements, add pressure, use your lips, breath and teeth in addition to your tongue, change positions, use your hands….Get your whole creative body involved.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Most women orgasm in response to rhythmic stimulation, so if you're in a groove that is building her up, don't suddenly change what you're doing. Finding the balance between variety and consistency is the art to being an oral expert.
Suck her into your mouth. Gentle suction is a nice variation on the licks and downward pressure of most cunnilingus. While you've got a nice piece of her sucked in your mouth, lick it while maintaining the suction.
Lick her !**@!. Use a barrier for hygiene, or if she is very clean and you don't penetrate, you may choose bare tongue on skin. The anal area is rich in nerve endings so all the varieties of oral stimulation--licking, sucking, nibbling--can feel wonderful.
Add toys. Toys are a natural complement to oral play. Check in with your partner about whether she’d like a g-spot vibrator like the nubby g inside of her while you’re licking away, or whether she’d like to wear a butt plug like the nubby g for an added thrill. You might also like experimenting with edible gels, like midnight fire, that heat when you blow on them.
How do you know if she likes it?
With your face buried in her !**@! and your ears muffled by her creamy thighs, it can be hard to talk about how things are going. So look for more subtle signs of her enjoyment. If she raises her hips to meet your mouth, that is a very good sign. A lubricating vagina and swelling vulva and labia that spread open as they become engorged are a sure sign that she's responding favorably. So is a growing clitoris. An all over skin flush, rapid breathing, and writhing are clues. Clutching the sheets is excellent, and so are hands on the back of your head pushing your face in harder.
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replied May 28th, 2005
Experienced User
Dang... I gotta get my boyfriend to read that...
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replied May 28th, 2005
Experienced User
Is he still trainable?
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replied May 28th, 2005
Experienced User
I would think so, hes only 21, though he usually like to be the one in 'control' during sex, so its more like whatever feels good to him is whats done.
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replied May 28th, 2005
Experienced User
Although I do get my own 'moments of pleasure' from him :)
i did have him read your post :)
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replied May 28th, 2005
Experienced User
The g-spot
we have both ends of the spectrum here - couples who devote the entire weekend trying to find the elusive g spot; then we have females who are all upset because they think they pee'd the bed during sex, and are so embarrassed they are reluctant to get into sex again for fear they flood the bedroom!

Anatomically, the g spot cannot be found as such; it is believed to be a small spongy pad that wraps around the urethra. If that pad is stimulated through the vaginal wall during sexual arousal, it can be very exciting.

The g spot is a small area, (about 1 inch diameter) inside the vagina, up about an inch and half to two inches. Appropriate stimulation will cause the female to take a deep breath and push down real hard. Most women describe the sensation as feeling they want to urinate - they have a powerful urge to "bear down", same sensation of pushing when delivering a baby. They take a deep breath, hold it and push right down to their bottom.

During g spot orgasm, a large amount of fluid may suddenly gush out through the urethra. It is difficult to estimate how much fluid is expelled. I have heard amounts ranging from one cup to 2 quarts. The g spot fluid is colourless, (urine is yellow), it smells sweet like clover, (urine smells like urine), it does not stain the mattress, (urine certainly does).

Every woman who has experienced g spot orgasm has a different way of getting there. But there is a common thread through their stories. Usually it happens when:

- she is in a high trust relationship where she does not worry what she looks like, sounds like or smells like; she is confident.
- she is very, very sexually aroused. She has possibly had one or more orgasms just prior to reaching g spot orgasm.
- she reaches a certain point and she just has to push down.
- she can feel the fluid spurting out and it feels wonderful.
- after that orgasm, women will tell you they feel completely depleted, they can hardly walk to the bathroom.
- it the best sex possible.

Some women say they have easy g spot orgasms with one partner and unable to get there with another. Some women are able to stimulate themselves to g spot orgasms, others just can't.

Some women get tired of having a perpetually wet bed, so they take a green garbage bag, cut up one side and across the top. Open it up, then take a flannelette sheet or big beach towel, pin it to all four corners of the garbage bag. Then roll this up lengthwise and put it just under her side of the bed, within easy reach. Then if she decided that "tonight's the night, ain't nobody gonna stop me now", she reaches under the bed, rolls the sheet/bag under her hips. Her partner knows what that means, and away they go.

Take the pressure off yourself. Some females ejaculate on a regular basis, some can make it happen, for others it is an amazing accident, and some women just do not ejaculate. But sex is pleasurable and enjoyable and satisfying if you do or don't hit that elusive g spot.

If you want more information, check out the good vibrations guide to the g spot by cathy winks, published by down there press. We also recommend understanding the g spot by donald hicks
hope this helps. I know from experience, it works. :wink:
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replied May 29th, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Oral like that wouldn't do anything for me.


One leg up over your shoulder so she can reach her clit and you can still "pound it," maybe that's why your wife doesn't orgasm from just you. Why should she have to use a vibrator while you have sex? She is pleasing you, so you need to please her. Experiment with her and figure out how you can make her cum. You should be the one playing with her clit, not her.

And then, some women just don't orgasm through penetration or even while being penetrated. I cannot cum with anything inside of me, no penis or finger. Clitoral only. Even if I am in the process of climaxing, if I am penetrated it stops completely. So, oral with fingers and having a tongue inserted into you wouldn't work for many women.
And most of the time when you bury your whole face, you are too rough and end up doing more harm than good.
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replied May 29th, 2005
Experienced User
Hotasfrick
And most of the time when you bury your whole face, you are too rough and end up doing more harm than good.

Hey, i'm not talking about sticking your head, wingle your ears and puking. I'm controlled by her hands pushing on my head. She will increase pressure as she approaches her climax.

Have you tried the g-spot thing? :wink:
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replied May 31st, 2005
Extremely eHealthy
Yes, but as you know, most men have facial hair? Yeah, even if it is shaved, that crap hurts if your face even touches down there let alone is pushed around down there.
And as I said, I am one of those women who cannot cum through penetration or while being penetrated, so how in the world would the g-spot thing do me any good?
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replied May 31st, 2005
Can't Cum Vaginally
I have the same problem. I can't cum and it gets very frustrating for me. Going down on me doesn't work. The only time anything does work is when i'm rubbing on him. I want him inside me when I cum and it is really kind of irritating that I can't.
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replied June 2nd, 2005
First of all, let me start by saying that i'm one of those women who can't have an orgasm vaginally. The only way I have ever had an orgasm is through clitoral stimulation. My (now ex) husband tried every which way of trying to get me to orgasm during intercourse to include the vibrator, the leg over the shoulder, and many other methods. No luck! This all changed when he bought a sex toy called "the ladybug". It's a strap-on vibrator that you pull it on like panties. The motor (or the body of the ladybug) goes over your pelvic bone and the "feelers" go on each side of your clitoris. You hold a remote control which controls the speed of the vibrator, and it's meant to be worn during sex. I tried wearing it without the intercourse, and I found out that I actually had better results during sex with him on top of me while I was wearing it, cause every time he pounded into me, it was that much more intense. I have to say that i'd recommend this to anyone, as it's the only way that I have ever had an orgasm while having intercourse!!!!!
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replied June 21st, 2009
From a very machismo male's point of view, using any device besides your body to make your girlfriend cum is embarrassing.
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replied June 21st, 2009
Granps You're Awsome Thank God Theres Someone On This Website Who Knows How To Give Chics Orgasms ^__^
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replied June 22nd, 2009
yeah granps method would work for me lol.
But to the OP don't pound her. I have come many times vaginally. you need get her very stimulated orally and ask her if she like rough or gentle oral. don't rush the foreplay I've had crazy orgasms when we foreplayed for an hour. and try letting her on top it seems like maybe she doesn't know much about her body fast shallow penetration works best I can only achieve orgasm via deep penetration (pounding) after the first time I orgasm with shallow penetration. you have to work your way from front to back starting with the clit. the clit is the easiest way to achieve orgasm and a lot of woman get frustrated and think it's the only way it's not I thought it was the only way for a while too until I learned more about my body, but as a woman I find that when I relax and don't concentrate on coming and just enjoy it it happens.
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replied November 24th, 2011
vaginal orgasm
Hi:) female 28 here..you know,this is not about clitoral orgasm,the issue is vaginal orgasm,which some women can't have:( it's not about how good or bad is your partner..you just can't and that's it..the only way is clitoral..vaginal stimulation feels great but it doesn't really go even close to the point of cumming..I feel terrible because of this,I see my boyfriend being little disappointed,but I can't help this situation..I just want to know if there is a physiological reason for it,or every women is able to have vaginal orgasm,but there are uptight in mind or some psychological disorder..but this kills the desire of having sex after a while..I feel like a weirdo and lose my self esteem as a women,though I was attracted man thanks to my appearance..
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replied November 24th, 2011
Community Volunteer
You have an unrealistic view of your sexual anatomy and what every part's purpose is. Your vagina is primarily a birth canal, not a sex organ. It allows sperm to reach your eggs, and menstrual flow toexit your body. Your sex organ is your clitoris. Jsts look at the distribution of nerve endings to see this.

Are you confusing a vaginal orgasm with an orgasm during intercourse? These are mostly not vaginal orgasms, but still clitoral orgasms caused by stimulation of the clitoral complex by the mechanics of sex.

You have to be careful not to confuse fiction and video with real life. Things are considerably different in the world of science and medicine, where we deal with research, reality and proof. Do not set yourself up for disappointment due to unrealistic expectations.
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