Meep.

Well from what I gaher there is a anxiety issue there, which you have already said, but by you worrying about it and focusing on it it will probaly make it worse. On the times where it has not happened were you thinking abotu it?

Often an action is the result of a idea put in your head, if you had not thought abotu loosing your erection and began to worry about it, would it have happened, or by thinking about it did you put the idea in your head and cause it to happen.

Does the same happen when you receive oral sex?

I think you need to talk to your parnter about this. Maybe there are unerlying fears that you will let her down.

Viagra works in a few ways, physically it relaxes the prostate gland allowing more blood flow, mentally is where it holds most of its powers, men see viagra as the wonder pill, it turns them in to a super stud and the confidence they get from this thought often enough to help them get over their problem.

I know this may sound werid, but have you tried anal sex? According to my bf it feels very diffrent, maybe its the initial sensation of entering your partners lady bits that are the problem.

I agree talking can make a world of diffrence a sex therapist may be an idea.. (just be oprepared for the freudian ones!! They will bring your mother in to it no matter what!) or even your doctor, as it would be considered a mental health issue, you could go on the grounds of its makign you unhappy and depressed and depression is no longer laughed at these days.

I hope this helps, even just a little bit.
Best of luck

Not to steal away advice from tomcat, but i'd be interested in responses not dealing with the anxiety effects. I'm 47, in great health and condition, but recently began experiencing symptoms quite like tomcat's. I have yet to try drugs or supplements like viagra or zupro(?), and I can rule out anxiety or other psychological effects with a certain measure of confidence primarily because my wife is a dream come true. She's beautiful internally as well as externally, she's been a sensitive and understanding lover for years, we enjoy total freedom with each other, we're faithful, monogamous, but definitely not bored, we're creative when an occasional problem does occur, and most of all, we're overwhelmingly in love!

She sees no diminishment in my prowess, but I feel it and am curious as to if am I simply fighting an age battle and should pursue the medical or herbal boost, or is there something else that could be considered.

Thanks!

A very close friend of mine had the same onset at age 40. Now, i'm not saying this is why it is for you, but he finally admitted he was bi-curious and wanted to act on it. He claimed the sex was great with his wife until he penetrated her and then all would go soft. After a couple of months of this he found himself a friend that he could act out his urges to have sex with a man, and after a few 'meets' with him, he had no problem keeping it hard until completion while in his wife. Seems it was all in keeping himself excited by who he was with. Before he acted on his urges to be with a guy, that's what pre-occupied his mind especially during sex. Once he experienced a man, the curiosity was no longer a focus.
Like I said, maybe not you, just a reason that I know of because of my friend.

Thanks kindly for the advice, but I wish there was a way to stop thinking about it.

Thats the hard part, I wish someone would come up with something that would take your mind of it.

Thanks again

I had the exact symptomology due to the effects of psychotropic drugs I take for bipolar disorder. After having explored what seemed to be all other avenues of treatment with my doctors I began to use an injectable medication called Caverject. For over 3 years we have had 100% satisfaction, it has never failed.