Im 19 years old and I feel im losing my mind. I was doing hard drugs such as cocaine or xtc but stopped a little bit ago and I feel I might have caused me to go insdie. I literally get so paranoid on drugs that I was able to kick the habit cuz I was so freakin scared to use again. But the worst part is is the state of mind has stayed with me. I get so nervous for nothing and so suspicious and people and things that I almost faint. I cant watch court tv because I feel that they are talking about my life. They talk about actual events in my life! I am freaking cracking oput of my school and im losing all my friends becuase I shut myself away in my apartment and rarely come out. Ive been off of drugs for a while but the state of mind has not left.. I dont understnad. Everyone speaks in codes. They imply what they mean but deont straight out and say it. I know this for fact though because it was finally exposed and it had b een going on for years but I jsut said I was being paranioid but a recent inicident proved I wasnt overly paranoid. To give one of many examples. My neighbors aparmtnet got robbed. Knowing of coruse that I didnt do it when she was telling me about it I had to cut the conversation short because I coudlnt breath thinking that she might suspect me of it and now she really might cuz I get so nervous about not looknig nervous knowing im looknig nervous. Im losing it!!
I really can't say ive experienced it because ive never done any hard drugs, but in a way your experiencing what some people may experience on steroids, the worst part of them can be when you actually stop, it great you quit doing drugs though! You should be feeling better about yourself! I think you just need to talk to someone about it, maybe find a group, find something to let this out, whats really driving you crazy is yourself, your thinking about it too much! Thinking about anything too much will drive you crazy! Trust me I know! I have my own issues, being through pretty severe obsession compulsive disorder, I would think the worst of things, caused me to loose all my friends and shut myself away in my house because I couldnt function properly in public, finally when family noticed I went to a doctor and was put on meds, I got so much better and am off meds now, (still have some of the disorder, but im able to control myself now) please don't shut yourself away your so young still, get help, talk to people, and stop thinking so much about the problem, think of how you can fix it :)
Everytime ive ever opened up to anybody no body takes me seriously and then I start panicking worse and think even they are speaking in codes.. Dont have money to see a doctor on my own... I dont know what I have or what it is but want to know if anyone else has the same problems and if so how they are dealing with it but thankyou for your help and concern.
It sounds like u have been through alot.Good on u for kickin the drugs.U need to understand most people do talk in codes there are not alot of people who are straight talkers .It sounds like your 1 of these honest caring straight talker .U could be suffering from anxiety and pannick attacks your not going mad?I thought the same thing just be yourself dont worry what other people think about u thats their proplem not yours if you have any q im happy to help good luck!