Im in a similiar situation, a few years back I had a bad trip on lsd, were I basically detatched socially from my friends and was paranoid about what everyone thought of me, and perhaps feeling slightly the way you felt, I guess I havent felt the same since, and its ruining my life.

I was also a highly active marijuana user up untill a year ago, im sure that didnt help, but after my bad trip I seemed to gradually change to a anti social person, with weird thoughts and phobias, now my reality is all messed up and I can have pretty bad anti social episodes/depression, and very low self confidence or esteem.

This has been going on for some time, and to cope I just became a house potatoe, never going out for years, playing video games and smoking weed all day, for years.

Every time I try to change things, I always seem to feel the same symptoms of being detatched from everyone and everything, and just fall back into my state of being anti social....I went to see a shrink a year ago he kind of sucked, and he put me on lexapro which didnt do a damn thing....I than thought I might have adult add, as I have difficulty concentrating and being able to handle conversations....

Now im wandering if I possibly have phycosis or some similiar disorder, im not completely crazy, as I dont see people or hear people who arent there, altough I do sometime sence things that arent there, like a paranoi, im easly distracted and all the sounds and sights around me kind of confuse me, but I also have disconected thoughts, im really not sure what to think, but im thinking of seeing a shrink soon in hopes it really is some mental condition that meds can help with, or if im just crazy.

However, im curios if the meds have helped you at all, if you want to talk further give me a email or aim screen name and ill message you sometime.

For anyone reading this, any ideas what could be wrong with me?

Doing some research I think what I have is a combination of hppd and dp/dr, which is basically a bad reaction to drugs that result in a rewiring of the brain,

I smoked marijuana and did coke and x just a few times but now I havent done anything for a long time except drink because if I do any of those drugs I feel exactly like you. Its like people are speaking in codes and doing things jsut because I did them or are speaking in a differnet manner. It was worse while I was high but the feeling hasnt gone away. Its terrible paranoia. I thought it was all fake about people speaking in codes but them something happened to me that is proof that im not overly paranoid and people really do. I dont know what to do because I enjoyed my world before I thought like this but now that the truth is exposed to me I jsut want to go back to my normal way of thinking things and ignore people and not be so paranoid and if it is all codes ill just be the one who doesnt get them.

Hppd dp/dr, .. Etc. I don't know what it is exactly but whatever the brain has convinced it self of can be unconvinced or convinced in a different way. It's like if someone plays a trick on you, and u really think that .. Um like ur mom went to the mall yesterday, when the news is broken to you it's not like you've had an episode that will change the way you think forever. It's just the way the mind works, it can think of anything and if you really want it can stop those disconnected thoughts you can. I remember when I would connect my thought to what I see, and although there would be no correlation; I would weave the thought; and after a while, I seemed to weave everything, and I was getting frustrated and very paranoid that my mind was really frying; but I just looked at my thoughts everytime that, that happened; and saw that there was no connection, and it eventually became habit to stop my weaving; along w/ the medication I was able to stop a couple of bad brain habits, the same goes w/ any bad brain habit, you can stop anything cause the brain can be reorganized w/ constant rationality. Just tell yourself whatever u need to; to break the bad habits.

Yo I had these same type of thoughts when I tripped and I get them sometimes now, but I just disregard them because they in fact not at all true, as much as your brain says that it's proof or it just makes too much sense to now be true. It's like if someone were to actually want to say something to you, wouldn't they just come up to you and say it infront of you without confusion; why would that person be using hidden language, the message itself can get twisted and it's a bad method of communication; were not in the middle of tyranny so we don't have to worry about code language. I was so consumed with the thought that others were talking to me, sometimes with a hidden message usually about me being self conscious and it would make me more self conscious because I believed it. I think back to when I didn't do drugs, did anyone send me hidden messages like they are now? Absolutely not; so what's different. Nothings different. I'm even trying to be careful the way I word some sentences cause I remember how sensitive I was to thinking these messages were real, and there are no hidden messages in this entire response on ehealthforum.Com. Just disregard the messages if they do come up because they are never real and go on because everything is still normal. The hidden messages I just categorize as fake, so I know that's not normal so I can just disregard it. No one can ever read into your thoughts and understand the hidden message it's too deep in your mind as to the surface it may seem. So just ignore the messages, take them as literally nothing and do as you want, get that old life back.

My sn cheezinez if u ever want to talk

I also used to hear hidden messages when people talked to me and around me, and I still do. However, not as bad. I too smoked weed a lot, almost everyday. A while back, I had a shitty year, and over a course of 5 minutes one night, i took maybe 25 adderalls and cut my body up. I didn't go to the hospital that night, but I had a real bad case of psychosis that followed the course of 2 years. I started to believe that I was god, and that I was the reason people drove past my house, I also believed I was homosexual. ( mainly because I was uncomfortable around girls ), and that people could read my mind.
One of the things we have in common, is that we all did drugs, maybe to mask how we felt. So we created delusions in the mean time to make ourselves feel better. Some of those delusions were to my benefit at the time and they did get me though the paranoia and anxiety. That was my brains way of healing the emotional damage. But I still get the shards left by those beliefs every day.
Most of it goes away, but not all of it.

Here's a clue. STOP WITH THE REEFER.