If you did not really want to abort in the first place, then having the abortion is absolutely not the right decision for you. I am sorry that you had to feel that this was the only option for you, at least at that time. It doesn't necessarily mean that your husband was wrong, but rather that he didn't understand how serious this issue was for you.

You, on the other hand, you have a problem. You are stuck with guilt feelings over something you can't change, and over having been led into a situation you didn't want. I suspect that you worry and think about this all the time, and that nothing ever changes; rather that you keep on feeling horrible about it. I don't know what your feelings are towards your husband about this, but I suspect that he might begin to feel that you should have gotten over it by now, maybe even feeling that you are hysterical about this, which could add to your stress.

You really are stuck and can't work out a solution to come to terms with what happened.

Likely the way out of this is through counseling. This is a way to have help exploring exactly what your feelings and emotions are, and why they affect ou the way they do, and also a way to work through what you can change to feel better without denial or trying to "make it better" without having your emotions follow with the "logic."

your situation is what counselors do best, helping people work through situations where they are "stuck," especially if it affects all of their life around them as well.

Now, counseling does cost money, but if you have health insurance, it should cover some counseling, at leats. But be careful. Many insurance/hmno plans have serious restrictions in the type and amount of counseling available.

Or, if you don't have the funds, your community should have some form of free or sliding-scale clinic.

There is also the option of going to your church and talk with the minister about it, as they all have some form of counseling training in seminary. But a word of caution. If your church is one who openly condemn abortion, you could run into somebody who feel that you *should* suffer and/or will load even more guilt onto you. That is why I generally advice more professional counseling in these cases.

Thank you steen. I really appreciate your answer.

Personal experience...
I was in the clinic for the afternoon.
I had the procedure done under a local - yes local not general - anaethesia.
I felt no pain only an overwhelming urge to fart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry girls, I had to repost those under my name because it deleted them when I didn't want it to.

I know a couple of people who had abortions and they also said it didn't hurt. Just pressure. I am not saying that it doesn't hurt anyone, but I don't know anyone who actually felt pain from it. They give you drugs for that.

pcforme: I actually tried for a rebound pregnancy out of desperation but it didn't happen, which is probably for the best. Now my son is 2 and 1/2 and maybe we could have another child I definitely would wait for my husband to be "on board" and it would have to be a planned pregnancy. I learned the hard way. Thanks for your word of support and advice. Maybe if i'd known about this website before all of this happened, I would have made a different decision.

Holy crap I dont know who you guys are talking to but when I had an abortion I just took the pills to make you dialate, I didn't do the anesthesia, and it was I think the most painful experience of my life. Not just the procedure but for like a couple of weeks after the cramps were absolutely unreal (even the vicadin did little to help at some points). Not trying to freak anyone out, I mean obviously I made it through ok, but if I had to redo it i'd definetely get loaded up during the procedure. I just wish I had been more prepared for how painful it was for me.

Everyones pain tollerance is different to some it may just be like period cramp but to others it could be a lot more painful.

I myself have never heard of it being excrutiating but that does not mean that it isn't or can't be people handle pain differently so it is never the same for two people kinda like childbirth some people manage without pain releif and go straight back to work after like an hour but others need pain releif and take the full six weeks recomended to recover.

That's true, I have a really high pain tolerance but at the same time what they told me was that the pain and amount of bleeding after varies on how bad you have periods. If you get really awful period cramps, you most likely will have really awful cramps from the procedure (like me) and bleed quite a bit, but if you dont normally get them then you probably wont have much trouble. I hope I didn't scare anyone from the previous entry.