Medical Questions > Relationships > Troubled and Abusive Relationships Forum

While Im Sleeping (Page 1)

My partner touches me when im sleeping i've woken a few times to find his hands in my knickers and somtimes more. Other times he jus has his erection pushed very firmly against me if im asleep on my side I don't know what to do about it its happend quite a few times but what worries me the most is that what about the times I havn't woken up how far will he go. Ive confronted him about it on several occasions and he laughs somtimes saying hes half asleep and doesn't realise what hes doing. What can I do? :cry:


Last edited by Troubled_mum_of_two1981 on May 13th, 2005 11:41 AM; edited 1 time in total
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First Helper softballmommy
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replied May 13th, 2005
My time to reply to you lol
my boyfriend does that to me too, he often has sex when I am asleep. It is just because he looks at loads of porn during the day he dreams of it and therefore gets an erection. His instincts make him to get to me to releive himself but what made me laugh one night is that he dreamt he was having sex with a film star so he started touching me and when he realised it was me in the bed , he said "oh it is you" and then turned away to go back to sleep! That never surprised me because we never have made love, he always has sex with me like in a porn movie, that is why I do not want to have sex with him most of the time because I am just fed up being called !**@! and slut to stimulate his sex drive, I do not even move now!! Or I fantasize on someone else to make it more enjoyable! Gosh if he was reading this, he would be happy! He keeps telling me how much he knows me but he has not got a clue!
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replied May 13th, 2005
Sorry for the health question in the middle of the sentence, I used a word that has been censored, I suppose you guessed what it was!
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replied May 13th, 2005
Experienced User
No I dont know what you mean by health question.......Spell out the word with hyphens in the middl of the letters eg. J-o-y
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replied May 13th, 2005
!**@! that is the word
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replied May 21st, 2005
a Common Incident
My ex boyfriend used to do this to me too. I think when they are half asleep they will automatically gravitate to the female body no matter what state of sleep you're in. I found that wearing clothes to bed helped to keep him off me in that sleepy state!
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replied May 22nd, 2005
Me Too
My husband of 3 years now, does this very often. I would have to say that my husband is a nynfo. He looks at porn all the time on the net. And is always trying to get me to watch it with him. (not interested)
there have been times I have woke up at like 3 in the mornig to find my husband is all the way inside me, with his hands exploring everywhere.
And when I stop him he gets mad, like I did something wrong. Then when we talk about it the next day, it is all a big joke.
I try to tell him how much it bothers me, he don't get it.
I know that I don't give in as much as I should , to him. But my sex drive has gone bye-bye right now. Not sure when it will come back. But I will say that this does not help.
I really don't have much advise about the subject, I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone.
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replied June 15th, 2005
I think the difference in what he is doing to you and what these others are having done to them is that they are not being abused on top of it. I know how you feel, there is a real diffent feeling you get when your man is nice to you and does the occassional get some at night with you. However, it is a very diffent feeling when you are called everything but a child of god, then even treated poorly, and you lay your head down to sleep and some person has some extension of himself in or on you. If you feel this is not normal it is not, this is rape. If you are asleep how in the world can you consent? From some of the posts, I have to ask myself are we as women this "submissive"? If you feel uncomfortable it is wrong!!!!
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replied June 18th, 2005
Experienced User
I Think the Whole Thing Is Wrong
I think that if you are not consenting it is not a joke. It is wrong! I had a "boyfriend" who also did this.. The difference I guess is that we were not boyfriend or gf we were dating for several months, we had never had sex or anything except kiss we did tho sleep together once in a while I mean sleep! I woke up several times with him doing this I would just ignore my instinct then one night I woke up and he was having sex with me -- we had never done it before-- this is not right. I think it should be consensual. I just want yo u to know the risks... Oh and by the way this man was a gentleman in every other way except he raped me!!! Be careful!
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replied July 23rd, 2005
No Big Deal
I do it all the time, or can I say I use to :( . I dont think its a big deal ,its all in fun and games I think, and it doesnt seem to bother her, !**@! sometimes she likes it and hops on top lmao im sorry............
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replied July 25th, 2005
Are you 2 happy together? Why do you have a problem with this?
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replied July 25th, 2005
Experienced User
Tell your bf hes a wierdo and if he does it again you will do something to him that you wont regret!!
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replied August 6th, 2005
Experienced User
?
Well im kind of similer me and my husband both watch porn together sometimes. And like you severl mornings I have woken up to and my husband is doing the same things. I have offten confrunted him about it and he says I am asleep that is all. But yet he says he dosnt have dreams so why would he do that in his sleep and not be dreaming right? What should I do?
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replied August 7th, 2005
Experienced User
Now im being serious here. Are you guys having alot of sex?? Because if you guys arent having that much sex he might be getting eager and then does this type of wierd stupid stuff. Maybe you guys should mess around every once and a while see if that helps and if it doesnt then, its probably due to his dream. Even though he says he doesnt dream doesnt mean he isnt. Everyone dreams, its just some people cant remember dreams.
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replied August 7th, 2005
Experienced User
Dreams
Ok next time I will test the waters and no were not having alot of sex I am so big there is no way. I guess that is why he does that.
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replied January 6th, 2006
Experienced User
Sleeping
My b/f does the same thing in his sleep its nothing to afraid of people do that my man wakes like 2 to4 times aweek to try to have sex with me alot of times he hooks up with in his sleep there was times when my mans private part was in my hand its normal for guys to do taht kind of stuff..
Ia sk my boy friend what he dream about nhe tells he doesnt remeber
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replied January 6th, 2006
Experienced User
Re: Me Too
What u wrote is teh way my man is of 3 years and we also have 2 kids he gets mad if I stop him in the middle of the night he doesnt look at porn though I do it once in while






1parent wrote:
my husband of 3 years now, does this very often. I would have to say that my husband is a nynfo. He looks at porn all the time on the net. And is always trying to get me to watch it with him. (not interested)
there have been times I have woke up at like 3 in the mornig to find my husband is all the way inside me, with his hands exploring everywhere.

And when I stop him he gets mad, like I did something wrong. Then when we talk about it the next day, it is all a big joke.

I try to tell him how much it bothers me, he don't get it.
I know that I don't give in as much as I should , to him. But my sex drive has gone bye-bye right now. Not sure when it will come back. But I will say that this does not help.

I really don't have much advise about the subject, I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone.
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replied January 11th, 2006
Experienced User
Okay - any normal man wants to be next to, and touch his significant other. I think the problem should be if he doesn't want to touch you, or sleeps far away from you. The solution. You should get in another bed!
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replied January 22nd, 2006
Sex In Your Sleep
I understand if you are upset about this if you have a bad or abusive relationship or are very pregnant.

I went thru the same thing but I enjoyed it most of the time! I talked to my bf about it & suggested he slowly wake me by massgaing me or just softly touching me all over---like a light tickle.

I started doing that to him when he was asleep so he could see that waking up to a form of pleasant foreplay was preferable to just waking up to sex in action.

He got addicted to this treat and woke me often with such wonderful feelings that it made for the best ever sex!

Perhaps if most of you who find this offensive could talk to the guys and explain that most women don't appreciate waking up with vlad the impaler in bed with you and then explain that maybe waking you with a back rub or soft tickling all over is preferable and might make you more receptive.

Try keeping a feather near the bed that they can softly drag across your arms & back and legs--no lips tho, I hate waking up feeling like a bug is trying to get into my mouth lolol
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