I think u shoud get out,do the children hear him? My mum was in an abusive relationship my dad was a drunk,u dont know how scared,hurt,etc I was listerning to his crap,then he turned on me,his lovely little girl yeah right.There is some places that will help u yes it will be hard but u need to do it forurself if not for ur kids. I had a black eye got pushed thru a glass door yes what wonderful memories I have,my mum left him yes it was hard for her that was many years ago,but it was the best thing she ever did not just for me but herself

Yes, as tiredone said there are places you can go to get help. Abused women shelters will take you in and help you find a place of your own.
You need to get yourself and your children away from him.

Please take it from somebody who knows, you have to get out. I was 23 when mine started and now I am 31 never got out. I am not going to tell you to take your kids and go to a shelter. For me the system has never worked, they don't give you the help you really need. You have to do this for yourself, it won't ever stop... The good days are days that you won't ever cherish because they are phoney, not real and you will never know when you can snap. Aren't you afraid of walking on eggshells? Please I urge you, get out of there, take your kids give them life, they are not living now, I am ruined, my kids treat me not so nice, I am a ragdoll waiting for my days to just come to an end. You don't want this life. Get away from that man!!!! May god keep you and your children safe.

Find a church that will help get you out of there, you need support
don't be shy
you're beat down you don't even know you're a worthwhile person any more, you're right where he can manipulate you
your ambivalence, your back-and-forthness...Means your conscience knows what is right but your keep rationalizing paralysis out of fear.

Even if you just put your kids stuff and a cooler full of milk and cheerios in a car filled up the gas tank and went to the next state to start a new life, it might be scary but even that unknown is better than being torn down on a daily basis...Start with churches, ask for help everywhere you can, just track down a lead

it is better to lead a harder life alone with dignity than to have lost all sense of yourself

I just left my boyfriend last week,
it is going to take time, to heal

my ex thought I was sleeping around on him, even though I gave him no reason for him to think that way

i am even 60 pounds overweight, a huge belly, I am not preganant but people thought I am
so why would anyone want me anyways?

Despite the point, my ex would get upset me if I asked the guy behinde the counter at the video store a question when a movie is coming out, etc
and the person happened to be male, but a teenager, I am a grown adult

my now ex boyfriend said I was parading in front of him, that was so absurd, I almost left him then, except it was a massive rain storm
and he was the one that drove us there

later that nite, he yelled at me, told me to get out of his house, it was 2 am, he then spit in my face

i am never going back to him

i have it easier than you, no kids

hun, it does not get better, I gave my ex exucses, pot, or medicine from when he got shots to quit smoking
no more excuses, no one should be little you over a course of time
and make you feel skiddish, insecure, that you edit what you are going to say around him, that you feel scared , that you don't know when he is going to be abusive, or throw a tantrum, destroy your property
( that is what my ex did)

like others said, go to a church, there may be a support group, a supportive shelter,
there has to be an easier, softer way. Safety is number one.

I had a zillion great fantastic loving times with my ex, but because of the bad times, you have to end it, I feel.

Once you leave, in a safe environment, even going to these boards
and the process of some time, you feel like yourself again, strong, confident and you and your kids will benefit, you will make good decesions

i send you a hug and you will be in my prayers, if you don't mind

take care of yourself and your children,