I'm 24, female, an international student studying at a us graduate school.
I do not like my research, and I do lot of other things like social work and part-time jobs for fun. This year, my research has been going really slow, and my advisor decided to not support me any more. I am loosing funding for fall.... I will have to find a new advisor or find a job, both ways are hard to get through.
My life is totally a mess in the passed two or three weeks...I have trouble concentrating...I over sleep a lot but still feel tired in the day...I don't feel hungry and I have to force myself to eat...I just cannot do anything right... I am afraid to tell my parents, who are in my homecountry, because I do not want them to suffer. I am afraid to tell my close friends, because then everybody would know that I failed to be a graduate student. I have nobody to support me and I feel lonely and helpless...I cry a lot, I googled about depression everyday... Things just don't change...I still have trouble concentrating on my work, which will make my academic standing even worse...
What's wrong with me??? I ask myself every second, I seem to know the answer but I just cannot help being miserable and desperate about virtually everything that is going on...I lost my confidence, lost my habit of being organized, lost my interest in anything, I just lost my mind...
How can I get back to myself? How can I stop wastig time and make myself a normal person? How can I stop being destracted and concentrate on my work?