Me and my girlfriend have been going out for almost a year and have a great sex life. Lately though, for the past 2 weeks, I have been cummin fast...Not right away but after like a minute or 2. I don't know whats wrong but I keep thinkin about it...Maybe if I stopped worrying about it so much it wouldn't happen...Any thoughts?
Just make sure you take care of her needs, too. The worst thing men do is leave a women hanging without a good climax. As i've mentioned in another post, if my lady had not had a good climax, i've gone down on my lady and found her "g" sport w/ my finger / while I did her clit orally.
She has had very significunt climaxes.............. :wink:
What if the guy don't go down orally, and he ejaculates to quickly when having intercourse. I've tried to talk with him about the situation and I've even tried to stop him stop when I know he's getting ready to cum and when we start back he "pops". FRUSTRATED!!!! Help, please I do love him and this is a five year problem, I don't want to cheat but I'm not being satisfied, I've even suggested toys but he won't allow them at all in anyway.
Thanks for the replies. Yes I remember about her needs, I always make sure she is satisfied.
Back on topic, i've tried not thinking about it, but I can't seem to make it go away. I'm very nervous before we start and I can't even seem to enjoy myself as were doing it because i'm thinking about cumming too fast. It's getting better, but it's bothering me a lot and it makes me very nervous, which I think leads to me cumming fast.
Does anyone have any tips or ideas to help me relax and not think about it? Thanks.
what can a young guy do? Well there are a few very simple things that will help:
first, he can masturbate before he goes out with his partner. This will reduce the expectation that he must be a great lover with an ever-ready penis. Then he will be able to last longer.
Understanding male sexual responses helps. If a guy ejaculates quickly, he is going to lose his erection, and this "refractory phase" will last about 20 minutes in a young male. There is absolutely nothing either of them can do to trigger another erection. But, let's make use of that time. He can spend that 20 minutes stimulating her, whispering sweet nothings, kissing, snuggling, cuddling, hugging, petting, stimulating breasts and genitals orally. 20 minutes of that stimulation and she will be very sexually aroused and he'll have another erection, and "ain't nobody gonna stop him now".
Another obvious option for young males is to use thick condoms. This dulls the sensitivity of the penis, helping him to last longer.
As a male ages, his refractory phase is longer. Learning the "squeeze technique" will help to delay ejaculation.
Many males learn to control ejaculation by practicing "kegel exercises" on a regular basis. Kegels may be found on this web site.
There are creams and sprays available at sex stores. These are supposed to numb his penis, so he will be less aroused and eager to ejaculate. Many men swear by these creams. I do have a concern. These creams usually contain lidocane, a topical anaesthetic. Fine and good, but if he uses it then puts a condom on, there is concern that it will weaken the condom. If he does not use a condom, some of this cream will rub off his penis during intercourse, and may numb her vagina. Again, do talk to your partner to check for reactions.
Women often feel that they should be able to do something to "help" him. Basically, this is his problem, and he needs to solve it himself. You can talk to him about it and lessen the expectation that he must sexually satisfy you every time. You can satisfy yourself, or you can teach him how to stimulate and satisfy you in ways other than penis in vagina intercourse. This reduces the pressure on him, helps him relax, and he has some sense of control.
The thing is, this never happened before. Before, when she performed oral sex on me, I could last forever! I would even need to think about having sex with her in order to have an orgasm! Now I can barely last 2-3 minutes!
The problem is that you now have a conditioned response to stimulation by her. You mind automatically associated her intimate advances with your impendning release. The human body is selfish and can be conditioned and re-conditioned to stimuli. The trick is to learn the number system.
The number system is what I have devised from reading books on tantric sex. Think of a 10.0 as the height of the orgasm, and a 1.0 as a completly flacid state with no sexual stimulation. The numbers 1.0 - 9.9 can be repeated much like riding a wooden roller coaster. The trick is to learn what a 9.0 feels like and to train yourself to respond to it.
Start intercourse and do "normal" things until you reach a 9.0. Immediately stop and let yourself relax to a 4.0 - 5.0. Once you are there, resume thrusting. Repeat this cycle until you are only able to relax to about an 8.0 state.
At this time, you should switch to other types of sexual activity. Let your penis become flacid and try massages, oral, or other types of sexual activities that do not break the mood, but divert the focus from your penis. After a few minutes, start intercourse again and repeat this cycle. The key to this is the repetition and restraint. Over time, you will be able to get to a 9.1, 9.2, and even to a 9.9 (like I can) before having to stop. I have achieved what is commonly called the "male multiple orgasm" by practicing this technique.
Intercourse in itself feels great! The inner walls of the womans vagina are very inviting, warm, soft, and the emotional and psychological effects of sex are unmatched; however, the orgasm should not be the "goal" of sex. The whole experience should be the focus, not the end.
When I was a "newbie" (actually from age 16 - 19), I couldn't last more than 10 min on a good day. I met a girl who was very unexperienced and we learned together through books and experimentation. I devised this method and now I can go for hours at a time, with getting to a 9.9 and actually have multiple 9.9 level orgasms. The final 10.0 actually feels more like an 11.0 now. Try this and feel free to pm me for any explanations or further details that you need.
I've tried something similar to the number system that u mentioned but when I get to the 9. She is so extremely horny and wet that she wants me to keep going and that's when I pull out. I try to keep her satisfied by kissing her, using the finger but all she wants is for me to keep it in because she's at a peak.This frustrates her and me because if I put it on right away I'm still sensitive I cant control myself from cuming so fast. Please advise.
My boyfriend used to have an issue like this. He learned quickly that when he is about to cum, he would slow down his pumps or he would pull out for a minute or two and kiss my body until he isn't as close to an orgasm as before and went at it again.
1) Masturbate before having sex. The second time will take a lot more time to climax. The third time is even more crazier! That's when I can do "anything".
2) Drink a little bit before the playtime. For some reason it works for me. It takes my attention away from orgasm and I focus on my partner.
3) Pull out when its almost time. Once you feel that the feeling to bust went away, continue. While waiting play with her =) Use your imagination. Keep on doing so, and sooner or later you will understand that you can control it.
4) Medication. It is out there and from what I heard from my peeps, is that the pain medication actually makes you last an hour or so, going full throttle. Might look into that...
My name is Marc. I always enjoy and love to e my and my head in my bedroom bed every night and in my showers every day. Sometimes I cum to ejaculate my sperm which feels great and sometimes I don't cum to ejaculate my sperm at all and I want to cum and ejaculate my sperm every night in my bedroom bed and in my showers every day. Can you please type and write me. Thank you very much. Marc .
the tips by ruspekt are actually very good.
During sex pace yourself increase the speed of your thrust gradually and wen u feel the slightest hint of the ejaculating feeling slow down or stop completely if necessary. practice this while masturbating as well it will eventually make you last longer.
My boyfriend has this problem but it's usually after maybe 5 to 10 minutes. We are actually in a long distance relationship and live about 4 hours away. Due to circumstances we actually only end up having intercourse about every 3 months and for about 2 days to a week at a time. So I am wondering is it possible that even with him masturbating, that if the amount of time in between could be the cause or even a factor of him ejaculating a little soon? Or could it be nerves as well?
my boyfriend has this, he used to be able to last on average around 40minutes at the begining of the relationship, maybe longer, and now out of the blue he lasts around 10, if that.
he says though that it's unexpected, like there's no climax towards it, so how is he meant to like, stop himself if he's not expecting it?
when we had sex and he came, and then we went straight for sex again 5 minutes after, he came quickly again, so the masturbating before hand tip won't work in this situation i'm afraid.
so, any ideas? much, much, muchly appreciated.
I was curious if masturbation has an effect on how long one lasts. I hear that if you masturbate fast your muscles tend to adjust to your speed and how long it takes you to ejaculate. I was curious if this is true. If I take plenty of time masturbating will it readjust my muscles..
Another question involves the amount... if lack of masturbation or none at all - if it will effect how long you last?