Okay here goes to my 'personal' opinion. You wanted to hear it blunt so here it goes. Since you can't really make sure of what to do about 'yourself' wether or not you should just stay with him because hes great, and you guys get along well, but the sexual spark is out. Maybe you should start thinking about him. Is this fair to him that your having sex with other men and not feeling guilty! Thats terrible! You gotta know there is a big big big problem there. And you know I dont think you love him the way you think you do, you love him most as a very very very close friend, love in a marraige I dont think you have because if you did you would not be cheating on him, and you would feel passion for him. He has the right to know youve been with other men, and I dont recommend bringing children into the picture, its like your just using your husband to get the 'good' out of life, but having your own adventures on your own, knowing that hes still going to support you. You cant just lie and stay married to someone because you dont want to be single and live with your parents again. If your not going to change things for the happier with him, then dont waste his life along with yours, let him go, let him go find the women that will be passionate to him and love him and be faithful. Have at least that much respect and love for him if you really care about him. Dont keep him blind...

I am going through something frighteningly similar to you except that I am not married. We have been together for 9 years and if our friends and family would have it their way we'd be married already, however i've always pushed it off for one reason or another.
We get along great and he is really the perfect man and I know I love him, im just not sure im in love anymore. Our sex life went from wow to what?
I find myself attracted to other men as well and have cheated on my bf a couple times, always with good friends who've crossed the line first towards a fling. Im not proud of this, and on occasion I have lost the feeling of guilt as well by trying to justify that the affair was something to make me happy.
I do agree with missshortie that it is not fair to the husband/bf and that by cheating its ruining his life as well. My bf does not know about my infidelities, however he does know im not entirely happy in our relationship and we're currently discussion what we should do.
He loves me to death, but would rather end it than know I dont want to be with him. I havent decided either way yet, however I think I want to fight for us. I do enjoy the life he provides, who he is as a person, and all the great times we have. I know a lot of work needs to be done on my part to remain faithful to him and only him and im hoping i'll have the strength to work at it and ultimately be happy.
Its scary, thats for sure.
Good luck and just know your not the only one out there...Your so not alone.

I have a similar problem, but in reverse. Mty wife & I have been married for nearly 8 years. We have two great kids, but getting pregnant with the 2nd was not easy for my wife. This killed our sex life since it became a regimented chore each month based on her ovulation cycle.

Since then (my son is now two) we have slowly drifted apart. Last year she got a job to help pay the mortgage on a new house & she works in the evenings, she also started going out for drinks with her brother/friends; which meant we saw very little of each other during the week.

Now she has had a brief affair. She says she still loves me, but is not in love with me (think she means as a friend). I want her to come to councelling to try again but she says she has done all her thinking. She tells me she isnt going to see this guy again but recently I can't trust a word shes says.

I love her very much & the thought of breaking up is killing me, not least at the thought of what this is doing to our kids.

Did you resolve things with your husband? If so how & do you have any advice for me?

I have a similar problem, but in reverse. Mty wife & I have been married for nearly 8 years. We have two great kids, but getting pregnant with the 2nd was not easy for my wife. This killed our sex life since it became a regimented chore each month based on her ovulation cycle.

Since then (my son is now two) we have slowly drifted apart. Last year she got a job to help pay the mortgage on a new house & she works in the evenings, she also started going out for drinks with her brother/friends; which meant we saw very little of each other during the week.

Now she has had a brief affair. She says she still loves me, but is not in love with me (think she means as a friend). I want her to come to councelling to try again but she says she has done all her thinking. She tells me she isnt going to see this guy again but recently I can't trust a word shes says.

I love her very much & the thought of breaking up is killing me, not least at the thought of what this is doing to our kids.

Did you resolve things with your husband? If so how & do you have any advice for me?