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Im Really Scared Cause Im Young, But I Need Help

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mryan

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Im Really Scared Cause Im Young, But I Need Help
Posted: 05-05-05 19:58pm

Ok, I have read a lot of this stuff and im sorry that I have to ask this but I do.
I have been with the same guy for almost 8 years, while we have been growing up. We both love eachother very much. We just recently started having sex about 2 months ago. This is the bad part, we dont use a condum much but the last 3 times we have had sex (the tuesday before last, exactly one week ago, and today: thursday) he usually puts it in me but then after 5 minutes or less he cums, he has cummed in me 3 times now. I dont think it was much but he still did. We are both very young, and have a future before us. Neither of our parents would be happy about this. There is probably a really big chance I am pregnant and I dont really know when my period is coming cause its been weird lately. So if I am pregnant what do I do? I dont want to get an abortion but it might be the only answer. Is there a way I can get one without my parents knowing? Im sorry im asking dumb questions like this, im young and we didn't make the right decisions but we understand very clearly now. So please if u have any advice for us please say something. Aything at all. Im just so scared because I dont know what to do? Please please help me!! Im sorry for having to ask questions like this, I just dont know what else there is to do. Please help
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BaByMaMa2005

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Joined: 03 Jan 2005
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Posted: 05-05-05 20:46pm

Yes you can get an abortion without you parents knowing but do you really want to kill the baby? Adoption is another option and even know your parents will find out they will respect you because you choose to give you baby a good life instead of giving it no chance at all. How old are you? Im 17 and in the beginning my mother was so mad at me that we didnt talk for a week but now she is looking forward to my daughters birth more than anyone! I am still going to go to college and get my two year nursing degree, my life is not over!!! In the end it is your decision but do some research before you make it.
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mryan

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Joined: 05 May 2005
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Location: colorado

Posted: 05-05-05 23:59pm

I can't express how thankful I am for that replay. I was expecting somebody saying something mean. I really dont know if I am pregnant yet but I think there is a big possability. I was always taught aboritions were really bad, and I swore to never do that. I was hoping I wouldnt' have to say this but, I think everyone should know. Ive known this kid almost my whole life, and I truely love him, but the thing is im only 15 and hes 16. We both have so much ahead of us. Im scared more than anything to bring a child into the world when we can't support it ourselfs. We are very young but always talk about getting older and having kids. Im the most excited to do that in my life than anything else. Im nto sure if my bf is the right guy for me cause were so young. I dont knwo what else there is to do. Please help me. I wont know for another like 2 weeks if I am pregnant btu in the mean time what do I do. Any information u can give me please do. Ive screwed up so much and I have nobody to talk to about this. Please help me. Thanks
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BrianBaby

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Posted: 05-06-05 07:14am

Hun, just take it one day at a time for now.....There's still the possibility that your not pregnant so don't stress about it so much. Stress can make your period late! There really is nothing you can do except wait it out. In the mean time, relax and make sure you talk to your b/f about this. And remember, god wouldn't give you anything that you can't handle :)
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steen

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Posted: 05-06-05 19:45pm

Abortions are no more "bad" than any other medical procedure to correct something that went wrong. But it is still an involved procedure, and it is best if you don't need it.

Please get some form of contraception. If you don't want to mess with condoms or pills, you can get depo-provera shots every three months.

That way you might never need to make such a choice as what you are worried about right now.

But if you have unprotected sex, you still have the option of emergency contraception, which is available through a physician. Find someone you trust, or go to planned parenthood for advice on this.

And finally, if you don't like abortions, then I frankly would advice you against having one because you will worry about this afterwards. The great things about "choice" is that it is you who get to chose, not others. So chose what you want, even if it is to have a baby, and then work out the problems as you go along. There are, after all, quite a bit of support available in some of the areas of the country, that young pregnant women can access.
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Sherry_Wine

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Posted: 05-06-05 21:36pm

I am also against abortion...I think there should only be 2 cases in which to allow it.....Rape and death (if the mother is at a high risk of death, which is very rare). Otherwise the woman should carry the child and if she doesn't want it then it's punishment for fooling around without thinking. I'm all up for adoption....But pregnancy and birthing is the punishment for something not wanted with this.
My partner is only 16, 17 this month...And i'm 18. My mom was disappointed in me but is very very supportive....But my partner's mom thinks I got pregnant on purpose because i've always wanted a kid....Just not till later....So she's restricted us from ever being together....Kidnapped him in a way....But she smokes weed and is messed up.

Anyway....Tell your mom asap. The sooner the better....She'll respect you for coming to her before it's too late and together you and her can decide what you're gonna do...Adoption or keep it. (again...Against abortion...Many young mothers regret it and have mental damage afterwards. My mom is a psych nurse and i've seen it for myself in my school.)

if you want pics of aborted babies, I know of a site with hundreds of pics.....Even after a month, you can see the body parts and they compare them to coins.....Really sad.
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steen

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Posted: 05-07-05 12:38pm

sherry_wine wrote:
otherwise the woman should carry the child and if she doesn't want it then it's punishment for fooling around without thinking.
pregnancy as "punishment" for not fitting into what you feel is moral? Yup, what a good idea. She won't end up hating her pregnancy and hating her kid, right? Seems like you want child abuse to take place here.

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i'm all up for adoption....But pregnancy and birthing is the punishment for something not wanted with this.
yes, you are very good at demonstrating the punitive hate mongering that prolifers spew forth in their misogyny.

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many young mothers regret it and have mental damage afterwards.
that is a lie, actually.

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if you want pics of aborted babies, I know of a site with hundreds of pics....
oh, yeah. Chinese at-term abortions and plastic models. Any other way you want to deceive this girl?

Quote:
even after a month, you can see the body parts and they compare them to coins.....Really sad.
i am fascinated about your claims of knowledge in embryology. But why are you making false claims?

Why do you think that it is ok to enslaving a woman and forcing her to give off her bodily resources against her will? That is no different than if I strap you down and force you to give blood against your will.
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mryan

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Joined: 05 May 2005
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Location: colorado

Posted: 05-07-05 13:13pm

I thank everyone for making a comment on what I have had to say. All of it is helpful in some ways or another. Im still not sure if im pregnant or not but I hope im not. I do want a baby just not at this time. I havnt been able to stop thinking about any of this. Im so scared of waht my choice will be and if it is the wrong one. My bf says he will be there no matter what my decision is. Im just worried to make the wrong one. If I were alittle older I would chose to have this baby, but im so young I dont think I can give it the life it needs. Giving the baby away would probably be the worst thing. Abortion seems so terrible but idk what else is a decision. I made a wrong decision to not use a condum and now I have to pay for the consequences.
This probably a bad thing to ask but I dont really know exactly what all happens in an abortion. I keep tryign to read stuff but I dont understand much. So if u know what really happens then could u please tell me. This seems to be the only place I can go to get help so please help me.
And how long does the baby be inside me before I get an abortion. Thanks for all ur help and anything else will help to. Thanks so very much
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seksiHily

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Posted: 05-07-05 13:43pm

Well until you know you dont need to worry about abortion.
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steen

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Posted: 05-07-05 14:39pm

A lot of misrepresentation is out there about abortions. Lots of it is from prolife/anti-choice sources that want to scare you with false claims. They don't give a rip about you, only that you end up giving birth, and then you are on your own. They will talk about babies. They will talk about how you will go to hell. They will make all sorts of false medical claims such as that you or the tissue mass that is the embryo will suffer a lot of pain, that the embryo is just about as coherent and sane as you are, that you will suffer infertility, raging depression and what not. These claims are all false. If you can, go and ask your doctor instead to get unbiased, accurate information. But pay attention to how the doctor tells it to you. Some doctors do have a political agenda rather than your best interest at heart. If they sound like they are pushing to hard for you to not have an abortion, rather than just helping you to make up your own mind, then you should go elsewhere. You can go to planned parenthood, but remember that they are the ones who also perform abortions, so their view doesn't necessarily follow theirs. Yet, pp is providing unbiased information, as they are prochoice. They believe that you should decide.

An abortion would likely involve you taking two different pills over a few days. You can do that just about now, and over the next 2-3 weeks. The result is some cramping, like a strong period, likely associated with discomfort and nausea for a few days. You would have to get these pills through a prescription, though, so you will need to see a doctor at some point in time.

If you seek an abortion later, you can get a d&c, which essentially is that you get some anesthesia, and the buildup of the lining of the uterus is removed through a suction process which also removes any embryonic tissue attached to the lining (called the "endometrium")

and note that it is a legal medical procedure, and the one who should make the decision is you. If you decide that you don't like to have an abortion, then don't have one. If you decide to have it, don't let anybody bully out into following their ideas. After all, it is your life, not theirs. You are the one who have to live in the future with the result of your decision.

You do have a dilemma. You don't like abortions, but you also feel you are terribly young for being pregnant and you don't think you can handle an adoption.

You need to sort out this dilemma. Seek out information that you feel can help you make that decision, and then go from there.
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seksiHily

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Posted: 05-07-05 16:44pm

I just love how this was brought here
she doesnt need to worry about abortion if shes not pregnant now does she?
So giving her info about whether its "ok" or "evil" or whatever isn't needed.
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steen

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Posted: 05-07-05 17:43pm

Ah, the prolife censorship again. Mryan specifically asked info about abortions, and I provided it. So it gets your panties in a wad that I give info on safe and legal medical procedures. Hmm, why is that?
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seksiHily

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Posted: 05-07-05 17:46pm

Actually I said that to be fair
the websites shown by sherry_wine were disgusting
and if you notice her websites were removed.


Steen, fyi I dont really bother changing minds anymore.
I dont agree with it.
But im not gonna shove images of abortion in their faces.
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Sherry_Wine

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Posted: 05-07-05 18:40pm

Actually....I have video of live abortion....There are online videos of actual tapes that were not made by ametures but for school purposes.

If she wants the link to know how they do it and what happens....By all means

and it is true...I didn't say all mothers regret abortions...I said many do...Which is fact and opinion and opinions are never wrong or right...It's up to her to decide what to believe....I am forcing nothing. Abortion is killing no matter the gestational age or what others say....But the decision is up to the mother, her doctor, and her religion....No one else.
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steen

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Posted: 05-07-05 19:47pm

seksihily wrote:
actually I said that to be fair
the websites shown by sherry_wine were disgusting
and if you notice her websites were removed.
yes, I noticed. And that is not bad anyway, as the claims made on those sites are downright false. They are prolife lie-sites.

Quote:
steen, fyi I dont really bother changing minds anymore.
ok.

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i dont agree with it.
and I don't agree with forcing women to give of their bodily resources against their will, so we are at a stalemate, it looks like.

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but im not gonna shove images of abortion in their faces.
you know, if the images were honest, accurate and actually pertinent to the issue at hand (ie. Not trying to show pictures of an 8-month abortion from china and claim that it has relevance to a 6-week abortion in the us), then I really wouldn't mind. Accurate information is never harmful. Lies always are.
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steen

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Posted: 05-07-05 19:55pm

sherry_wine wrote:
actually....I have video of live abortion....There are online videos of actual tapes that were not made by ametures but for school purposes.
yeah. And? Are any of them movies about the medication-driven abortion at 3-5 weeks? Or of the d&c abortion at 5-8 weeks? Or are you going to use as 'evidence" something completely unrelated?

Quote:
if she wants the link to know how they do it and what happens....By all means
oh, yeah. Links to "abortiontv or abortionfacts, right? Sites that have been proven to be outright liars, that's the kind of stuff you are going to use as "information"? How does lies provide information about anything?

Quote:
and it is true...I didn't say all mothers regret abortions...I said many do...
and that claim is still a falsehood, unless you are going to claim that a few more than 2 people are the same as "many"?

Quote:
which is fact and opinion and opinions are never wrong or right...It's up to her to decide what to believe....I am forcing nothing.
but you are providing misinformation. You are trying to make her base her decision on outright lies. So I would suggest, for your own integrity, that you stop linking to prolife lie sites as "evidence."

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abortion is killing no matter the gestational age or what others say....
yeah, and so what? Eating is killing. Mowing your lawn is killing. Having surgery of any kind results in killing.

Quote:
but the decision is up to the mother, her doctor, and her religion....No one else.
no, it is not up to her religion. She may base her decision on whatever she wants to, whether it is religion, future earning prospects, her father disapproving of her pregnancy or whatnot. But that still is having it being up to herself only.
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WanaBaMom

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Joined: 07 Apr 2005
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Posted: 05-09-05 09:24am

Steen, you don't even know if the girl is pregnant. Why the debate? And also, your stuck up "i know it all" attitude is getting really annoying, and i'm sure others will agree. So if you could....Please, shut up.
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seksiHily

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Posted: 05-09-05 09:42am

While I agree a debate should not have started
i think it did due to the grostesque images that sherry decided to share.
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WanaBaMom

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Posted: 05-09-05 12:16pm

Seksi she/he was correcting you as well, in a rude and unneccessary manor. Just my opinion.
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seksiHily

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Posted: 05-09-05 12:20pm

Im not saying steen was in the right.
But he does this when a debate is started lol
it should have been dropped imo
but hey thats just mine.
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