Getting Over a First Love Posted: 05-03-05 22:13pm
So there is this guy who i've had feelings
for for over 5 years. We never actually
dated but have hooked up several times,
even when he was in this serious
relationship with this other girl. I
consider him to be one of my best friends,
I can tell him everything (except for the
fact i'm in love with him) I haven't been
able to have any functional relationship
with another guy because my thoughts are
always about him. Not that long ago I
went to visit him at school and did the
really smart thing of giving him my
virginity. Prior to going there we were
really close, talked everyday kinda of
thing, but now we don't talk that often
and the conversations are about nothing
(with the exception of him telling about
his skinny dipping adventure with some
random during spring break...That was fun)
so for over a month now i've decided I
want to get over him and move on with my
life but everytime we talk or whatever I
get pulled back in again. I just want all
of this to be over. Help
|
Stingray
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2005 Posts: 7
Hello, Posted: 05-09-05 01:49am
Hello, you might not want inormation from
me, since im a guy, but I too, had a first
love. Skipping all the information and
onto the bad part, I seen her cheating on
me with guys on numerouse
occasions.....And what I did to forget her
was to ignore her...And if she comes down
the hallway I wouldnt look at her......But
when I see a glimps of her my chest feels
like its in some sort of pain.....I know
all this stuff you might not want to hear,
but to get to the point......My sugestion
is to slowly drive yourself away from
him...Like he is doin to you.....But,
since im a guy and havent had "female"
thoughts of idea's...I wouldnt know if
this is the right form of approuch for
you.....
Ps: more then 89% are pigs and are just
out their to use women...You dont know a
man/boy/guy unless you know his true
personality....I wish I wasn't a guy :heh:
|
CTC5747
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Jul 2005 Posts: 5 Location: ny
I Know How You Feel Posted: 07-05-05 19:16pm
I'll never forget my first love, I had a
situation similar to yours. It'll all get
better soon, just be really nice to him
and things will even out, whether or not
he ends up your boyfriend. Good luck and
let me know how everything went!
:)
vickie :)
|
MOABE
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jun 2005 Posts: 6
Posted: 07-10-05 13:02pm
No matter who you end up with in the end,
there will always be one that got away....
:shock:
|
hopeless26
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 1 Location: Michigan
Getting Over a First Love Posted: 12-06-05 19:35pm
:( i'm not sure what I should do. I'm
not sure if what I feel is normal. If
there is anyone out there that can assure
me that they feel the same, I would really
appreciate it. I still have overwhelming
feelings for my first love, whom I had an
on and off relationship with for a few
years. This was when I was sixteen, and
now i'm twenty-six. I am engaged to a
man I have been with since the last time I
saw this first love. I see him from time
to time, but it's only in passing, and
only for a few minutes a few times a year.
And each time it leaves me in tears for
days. I think about him all the time,
hope to see him when i'm out (we live in
the same town), and have dreams about him
2-5 times a week. His memory is haunting
me. I love it, because it's the only
time I get to be with him, but I hate it,
because I can't move past it. It is to
the point where i'm considering not
marrying my fiance, for when this man gets
a divorce from his own wife, and we get
married. I know that must sound
absolutely psyco, but it's a feeling I
have in my gut. It's the way he looks at
me when he sees me. I feel like we both
feel the same, but neither one is brave
enough to say or do anything. Am I
completely crazy?, or should I be going by
my gut instinct? Please, be brutally
honest. I need to know if it is normal
to still have this strong of feelings over
someone I haven't really known in eight
years.
|
Stu
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Posts: 39 Location: United Kingdom
For Hopeless26 Posted: 12-07-05 04:55am
I think you made the most valid point
right at the end of your post. You have
feelings over someone you haven't known in
eight years. So you are not really
imagining that person as they are now, you
are holding on to the image of them as
they were then. And eight years can
change someone an awful lot, especially if
those eight years were the transition from
teenager to adult. But you will have
also changed an awful lot, perhaps without
even realising it.
I have been in exactly the same situation
as you. I am a 28yr old male, and when I
was 18 there was a girl who I was
abolutely head over heels in love with.
I would have done anything for that girl,
and I believed we were soulmates. Then
circumstances split us apart, and I spent
the next 10 years feeling like there was
unfinished business. Then I met up with
her again and re-visited the whole thing.
But you know what? The reality was that
it was not the same, and that what I had
seen in her in the past and had built up
in my mind to be so wonderful just didn't
appeal to me anymore. The only benefit
that I got from seeing her again was to be
able to put the whole thing to bed, and
now I never think about her anymore. And
I too am now engaged and very very
happy.
I think that you should concentrate more
on the reality of your current
relationship than the fantasy of your past
relationship. Don't jeopardise what you
have now, your partner deserves more than
that and so do you.
Take care...
|
princessdiana7586
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2005 Posts: 49
Posted: 12-13-05 14:45pm
I think what you all need to ask
yourselves, is what you had experienced
real love?
