It is to be expected when dealing with the
public that you are going to encounter
some people who themselves are not able to
handle people.
If I have a hang-up that says : "i am
stupid" and some body calls me stupid or
treats me as if I am stupid, then I am
likely to get upset, because I have no
proper defences against something that
could be true. This is because the other
person has hit my hang-up.
Thus if we want to be able to handle
abusive customers - and you know
'customers are always right' - then we
must make sure that we don't have any
hang-ups about ourselves that could
trigger an unassertive response.
If we want to be assertive - that is in a
non-aggressive way - we must be able to
deal with criticism, in other words get
rid of our own weak spots in our
personality.
We have a self-help psychotherapy program
at our web site that will help you not
only to become more confident about
yourself, but will teach how to handle
criticism from other people, and
especially coming from within yourself
the program starts off with an analysis of
how people communicate with one another,
in term of transactional analysis (ta).
This is big word for simple ideas. This
system teaches us that we have three ego
states called the parent, adult and the
child. We seem to be hopping from ego
state to another.
It is the inner parent that causes most of
our emotional problems. The parent is an
automatic judge within us, that
robotically keeps on spewing judgments
out. Thus if somebody says to me that
“you are stupid” I know from ta, that
the other person sits in his parent ego
state and that he is addressing my child,
instead of my adult.
The trick in assertiveness training
program is to get the other person out of
his parent and back into his adult.
This is easily done once you have got rid
of your own hang-ups, because hang-ups are
nothing more that robotic judgmental
statements about yourself. You have
learned these in the past. Regardless
where they come from anything learned can
be unlearned.
When you do the assertive training program
you will be able to counter your own
criticism within yourself and by mental
exercise gradually get rid of your
negative self-images.
Once you have studied that course - which
is completely free of charge - you not
only have got rid of your negative
self-image, but can immediately recognize
the hang-ups in other people. People
that are rude (and emotional) are usually
loaded with hang-ups.
When you have completed the course you
will be able to handle any customer.
Look up psychotherapy at our web site and
have fun doing the course.
Jurriaan plesman, ba (psych) post grad dip
clin nutr
for more articles see
http://www.Hypoglycemia.Asn.Au
