I have been married for almost 5 years
now. We were married young (ok- my
fault...I admit it). Things have been
going alright for the most part until the
last 9 mo. To a year. In this time, she
has made a couple of new friends that she
demands to spend lots of time with. She
has completely changed her wardrobe, taste
in music, started drinking, started
smoking again and has recently started
making plans with me, then calling at the
last second saying "never mind- i'm gonna
go alone."
i love her sooo much and every time I try
to talk with her, the only thing she will
say is that i'm being too sensitive and
overreacting. I am honestly to a
breaking point and can not and will not
take much more of this. I have been true
to her and do everything I can for her.
Am I being too nice here? She is
starting to insist that I develope a
seperate life of my own- saying she
doesn't care what I do or where I go.
Even insisting I go to a strip club. Is
she trying to prepare me for her
leaving?
I get physically ill every time I start
thinking about this subject. Seeing as
how I have noone to talk to about this at
home, what does anyone else think?
I am starting to almost believe that I am
wrong for caring!! I know that I am not
a typical guy in that I truly give a s@#t
what happens with my marriage. I have
never been so down in my life and feel
like I am about to explode! I am open to
any and all opinions... Am I
overreacting?
|
soontobedc
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Apr 2005 Posts: 2
Shouldn't Have Clicked Submit Posted: 04-30-05 18:54pm
We had plans to go out to eat last week
and about an hour before I got home, she
called saying that she was going to a bar
with "old friends from high school." when
she arrived home (around our normal bed
time), all she could/would talk about was
her ex's (one of whom is dead now) when I
said that I was uncomfortable talking
about how she misses her ex's, she started
calling me selfish and jumped on the phone
to complain about me to whomever she had
been out with that night.
What in the world was I supposed to do??
She insists that I am not supposed to be
hurt by actions like this... And am being
way too sensitive. I have never felt
sensitive like this for anyone but her and
to keep getting hurt really sux. I feel
sometimes like I should cut my losses and
call a lawyer just to avoid what she will
innevitably do that I will "overreact"
about! Has anyone else been here?? What
happened with you? I need help, but I am
afraid to insist on counselling!!!
|
MissShortie
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 May 2005 Posts: 146
Posted: 05-30-05 00:53am
You are not overeacting! Trust me, shes
just trying to put that on you to make you
double guess yourself and feel like your
being silly but your not. I would be
going insane too if I were in your
position. Sounds to me shes doing things
she shouldnt be, by insisting on you say
going to a strip club or something, thats
something I consider un faithful to your
partner to go google over naked women,
with her telling you this it means
possibly she has done something un
faithful, so she is trying to get you to
do something so she wont feel as bad about
it. Oh and I didnt know you could break a
date with your husband or wife? Thats
just weird to cancel like that, its more
like you guys are 15 year olds dating or
something. She definatly needs to be
straightend out, dont let it go on. If
shes not going to include you in the
thigns she does (she can have her time
with friends and all but not all the time
thats not a healthy relationship) try
counseling maybe you can get her to talk
about why shes changing. :/
|
ilovethebeach
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Posts: 48
Posted: 06-28-05 10:25am
I agree that something isn't right...She
is going through something and...Well, she
could possibly be cheating but don't just
assume that she is. She could also just
be having an early sort of mid-life
crisis, or maybe she misses going out and
maybe she misses her friends from high
school.
She needs to be able to talk to you about
it though, so you have to figure out a way
to get through to her...Or maybe you could
ask her if you could go alone when she
goes out with her friends from high
school.
Also, just want to add that I disagree
with the poster above. Going to a strip
club is not cheating. If you are truly in
love with each other then you won't care
if he/she goes to a strip club to see
naked women/men...It would only be bad if
they acted on a temptation.
