Hey there! You know surgry won't change you on the inside only the outside. You need to work on how you feel and think about yourself. Have you considered going for therapy? I am in therapy because I have an eating disorder and there are many people that are overweight that are in therapy too because its not about your size or food. Food is just a way for you to deal with how you think and feel, therapy helps you to change your thoughts and feelings to be more positive about yourself and your life. It really doesn't matter what size you are because all eating disorders are the same, the reasons behind the behaviour are the same for all people who suffer with an eating disorder regardless of shape or size. I really hope that you get some help because it will make the world of difference. I know a women who was overweight and spent 10 years in her house because she didn't want to go outside, she was afraid the world would judge her. Now that women is in therapy and she is feeling so much better about herself, for the first time in years she has gone on holidays and enjoyed herself so much. She is getting her life back. Please do your best to get help and don't let anyone tell you that you don't need it, that all you need is to lose weight because its not true. You need to feel light and thin in your head and that will only happen when your feelings and thoughts become more positive.
Remember there is always hope and you can recover from this. I wish you the best of luck and write to me anytime you want to talk ok. Take care of yourself

jenny

Hey max, how are you? I'm sorry that your weight and eating problmes are keeping you from having a normal life, but I can definitely relate so you are by no means alone. My eating problems also has me thinking about food a lot so I know how it is to fight that thought all the time. Somtimes your own body feels like a prison.
I guess you should ask yourself why you gained all the weight back? Were you eating more? Were you using food as a comfort source? Were there complications from surgery? Also did you have an eating disorder such as complusive eating before the surgery? This might have followed you after your surgery as well. This is what it sounds like to me.
Eating disorders are frustrating and tiring, they can really drain you emotionally and physically. But there is help for those who choose to take it. Reach out to someone and they will reach back. I can't advice you to go to a Dr. Immediately because I would be being a hypocrite. But I hope that you don;t end up like me- keeping it a secret which begins to control you I hope you go to therapy like lostoyou mentioned. Think about it, its your life, you have control over it. Keep me posted and remember you are not alone and there is a solution if you look. :d