Depression Forum - So Miserable- Help

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Q: So Miserable- Help

asked by: poetmcc on April 15th, 2005

Experienced User

Someone plz listen. I am in indian growing up in us for the past 12 years. My parents are so incredibly' overprotective of me being traditional, I am 16, I am not allowed to date, watch practically anything on tv, go to friends' houses or anything. I have never had a close friend in my life. I am lonely and miserable because of them. I am crying as I write this. They have made my life terrible, all they care about is my grades, that's not fair when will I ever have fun? They already told me they will never let me go away to college, I have to stay home while going to college and I am jus so mad and miserable about my life which really isn't a life. It is just an endless thing fighting with my parents all the time. What do they think they are doing? Maybe I deserve this? I don't know what to think. Tonight is my junior prom and i'm sitting at home in my room while everyone having fun and i'm not allowed to. What kind of life is this. I do suffer from other eating problmes too and I am just depressed beyond words. What's my next step plz plz tell me!!!!!!!!!!! :cry: :cry: :cry: :( :( :(

Replies(13)

ggshawy

replied on April 16th, 2005

New User

By any chance darling are you an only child, all parents want the best for their children but yes they are a bit over the top, although maybe when your older and succesful your thank them or maybe your reject them for holding you back as a child its a tough one.

I hope your ok though, keep your chin up and you can email me if you feel lonely or down, thanks for replying to my post.

wakkochic17

replied on April 18th, 2005

Experienced User

No one deserves that.. Unfortunately since you are under you parents care there isn't much you can do other than finding ways to cope, and maybe finding alternative ways to keep yourself busy and happy. Maybe write your parents a letter, like you have on here, describing how you want to make them happy, but that you need some freedom to be happy yourself! As for college, maybe try to get a scholarship or finance your way to a college of your choice. Once you are 18 they can't force you, although it may strain your relationship so that's always a hard toss-up. Your next step is to keep talking about it.. Talk about it to friends at school, etc. Keep a journal to get out all your feelings. And try to keep focused that you have less than 2 years before you are in college and will have at least some greater ability for freedom!

erics_gem01

replied on April 19th, 2005

New User

Re: So Miserable- Help

Dear so miserable-
well my parents are the complete opposite I am 16 and well I can do anything I want but get this all I have is one parent be lucky and happy to have two parents.. My mom is a great mom but sometimes she can't be in five places at once she has to deal with her life my brothers and mine... Just sit down and talk to your parents and let them know your problems talking about it with them will help and let them know you are 16 and trust me babe once your 18 you can get the hell out of there...You will be your own.. Tell your parents they can't control everything you do because you need to learn from your own mistakes... Put your foot down..I did with my dad but thats just because he is a loser and I had to be his parent....I'm here for ya because when my mom won't let me do something I get pissed and throw a fit don't be like that..Be mature about everything

poetmcc

replied on April 21st, 2005

Experienced User

Thanks All of You!!

Thanks all of you. I'm really happy someone cares enough to answer. I guess I will do like you say- write in a diary and wait till i'm 18 for independence. You guys have really helped. I am surviving for now both my parents and my eating disorder. Thanks again.

twentyone

replied on April 29th, 2005

Experienced User

Poet just read your post.......... I was reading a few posts and u wen u replyied saying the age u were I cudnt believe it you r so mature and caring. You seem a great person despite they way your parents treat you. Hang in there try and be the happiest you can be. One day hopefully you can look back with a beautiful wife and children at your side and learn from the experience. Keep your chin up sweety .

poetmcc

replied on April 29th, 2005

Experienced User

Hi twentyone, thanks for the reply. Yeah I am 15 years and a high school student. Also I am a female so I guess the beauitiful wife part doesn't apply ha ha. I am trying to keep my chin up. Thanks again. Take care guys.

smith007

replied on April 29th, 2005

New User

Talk to School Guidance Counsellor

Hey there...How about talking to a school guidance counsellor? Set up an appointment and when you go to see him/her...You can talk about anything with them!...They are such good help!!!!....

davey

replied on May 2nd, 2005

New User

Write It Down

Hi poetmcc
you sound like a very mature and intelligent 15 year old, I am only 21 but here's my advice. Your parents do love you and they will listen to you, as long as you communicate in an adult way.
In the past, I have found it really useful to write out what you want to say to them - dot points, some sentences. Then prepare yourself by saying it out loud by yourself in your room. Then ask your parents if you can find 1/2 hour to an hour where just you and your parents can talk uninterrupted (hard if you have any siblings). Then go through the points with them, perhaps ask if you can read your points uninterrupted and then your parents can speak, or go through each point individually.
Hopefully your parents will listen, and try and make some compromises. Compromises are the name of the game here, don't go for an all or nothing approach. You are still very young and are still a child, who is now growing up and becoming a woman. Good luck

sunkissed

replied on May 2nd, 2005

New User

Find a Passion.

Dear poet,

my advise to you, though it may seem to be similar to others... And this has worked for me in the past, being a girl, and dealing with some of the same issues, was to find something that I could really pour myself into...I chose music, art, and poetry. The three kind of go hand in hand but if you can't get your hands on an instrument of some sort, writing and drawing will definately help. And it seems to me that you have already taken a very important step by simply reaching out for help and advice from others...You already have many friends on here! :wink: I know it doesn't really fill that "best friend" void but we are all here for you. I will be praying for you about these issues, I know how frusterating it is to feel like a caged bird at times but you will pull through this! Thanks for taking the time to read this...Bless you sweets!

poetmcc

replied on May 2nd, 2005

Experienced User

Thanks Sunkissed

Hey sunkissed thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply to my post!! It really made me feel a lot better. I feel that I am not the worst person as I thought I was because of all the thoughts I had about my parents...
Thanks most of all for just mentioning that you are out there for me- really you are my last hope in this thing- that is all I needed to know- that I am not alone!! I feel lonely as I mentioned also because of my eating problem and stuff too...
I do write poems and my screename attests to that...
Well take care and continue with your music art and poetry!

MissJudged

replied on May 2nd, 2005

New User

Hey

Hey I hope ur feeling better and I think you should sit down and talk to them, but I can see ur parents really care for you, well if anything if u need a friend to talk to, just email me..Okay
p.S hope u feel better.

sandyallen

replied on May 2nd, 2005

Extremely eHealthy

Hi there! You might talk to your school counselor about this or your school nurse as you do sound like you are a bundle of nerves which is not helping your eating problem, have you tried to talk to your parents, or an aunt or someone that is close to you. Keep us posted, we are here for you.
You can also go to mental health, social services or teen connection, I feel that there is someone out there that can help you.
Sincerely,
sandy

poetmcc

replied on May 3rd, 2005

Experienced User

Hi sandy, yes I tried talking to a counselor freshman year of high school- 2 years ago and I told her how my parents are so overprtoective I am depressed and stuff and she called my parents!! My parenst were mad- that was the worst night of my life :cry: :cry: I dont know what's their problem but I am trying to survive it. Hopefully one day I will be happy and free from my ed.
Wel thanks for the advice, maybe I can talk to a counselor online or call a teenline like you said. Bye for now.

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