Hi msdee3 how are you? I hope you're ok. You seem to have gone through so much pain I your life and I am so sorry to hear that. I can't offer you too much advice i'm afraid, i'm a teenager and I have my depression problems but here is a little advice. Cutting helps only temporarily. You feel it is an outlet for pain but it causes more and more problmes and you will end up desperate. Please please don't get yourself into that situation. Your mother needs and loves you. You love yourself too but in the past I know that you seem to feel that everything has turned against you and its hard to believe. One thing that mgith help is writing. Writing cleanses your mind to have everything on paper. Then maybe ytou would like to think about your life now. I know depression isn't one single point that causes it that you could go back and cahnge- various events might have led to it (as in your case). Then imagine what you want for yourself 10 years from now. See what you can change, what you cannot.
If you can't afford to go to a proffessional, how about a friend you can talk to? Some one who cares and who you can confide in? A diary again may help.
Well take care of yourself and if you want you can e-mail me privately (i don't know if you want, i'm only a teen but if you ever need someone to listen i'm there ok) here is a quote I read on one of the other forums on this site "everything will be allright in the end and if it's not allright, its not the end)

ps: i'm sorry to be loading up all this advice. I think you are really brave to at least ask for help. I have never been able to. You are an inspiration to me by asking for help and now maybe I can ask for help too and I want to thank you so much for that. Bye for now and keep me posted on how are doing. :d