I have a fear of having sex. It's not a phobia or anything..Hehe...Its my parents.

I lost my virginity when I was 18..With a past boyfriend..And then after a year or so I had another boyfriend and you can figure that I was active with him then.....And my mom found out.

We broke up and I moved away with my parents. I don't hav many friends here ..Its been a year and a half already. Since I been living here i've been spending so much time with my family and they are strict. They're very traditional becaus ethey grew up in the philippines. They are constantly telling me "don't have sex", "don't make a mistake", "smart people make mistakes too, you're smart but all it takes is one mistake and you're life will change", "only married people have sex." "its bad." "don't be like your cousins" (who have kids) and don't be like your friends.. (two of my friends from where I use to live have kids..)

i'm 20 and I have a new boyfriend here. He's been really patient for the past 9 months but he's frustrated and its making things hard on our relationship. I want to get intimate with him but when we start getting in the mood I think of what my parents repeatedly tell me. I think I am going to get pregnant if I do. He's mad that i've had sex w/ my ex's. And that i'm acting like a kid about it..Which is probably because i'm treated like a kid. It really bothers me. I feel like if I have sex im betraying my parents or i'm gonna get caught again..Or have a baby or something!


And its sucks..Im 20!
I need advice...Please leave any..