Im a 39 yr old virgin, and soon to be 40 in april 2008.
I have never kissed nor touched a woman ever. Like you, i have suffered from low self esteem also, plus extreme shyness. And just never could get enough courage to put myself out and ask out a woman. But I never give up hope and will continue, even at the age of 40, to get the courage to finally ask a woman out.
I am well accomplished in other areas and make a good living, but in the arena of relationships, I have been non existant. So my goal is to feel that kiss/hug I never felt or maybe finally touching the palm of a womans hand. I may never have a relationship at this point in my life, but if I can get to a point where i can get dating and have some fun, i will be satisfied

Hey Brad,

I can relate with you on the shyness and low self esteem and getting the courage to ask a woman out. It's tough when you have all of that in your mind, preventing you from action. However, you have to act. You can't wait until you have the courage to do something. Do it and the courage will come afterwards.

Think of all the things you have to gain from acting. Then think of all the things you lose from not acting. Then think of the worst thing that can happen if you do act. You'll find you have a lot to gain from acting, a lot to lose from not acting, and the worst thing that can happen isn't that big of a deal.

What can she say? No? So she said no, try again. Everyone who is successful in life has failed. Men who are successful with women have failed. People who are successful with money have failed. You try anyway, you learn from failures, and you keep going.

"But I never give up hope and will continue, even at the age of 40, to get the courage to finally ask a woman out."

Don't hope for courage to ask a woman out, just go do it. If you want, you can do it online with dating sites. You can be upfront or not.

Not sure why you think it's too late to have a relationship at 40 either. Many people start relationships much later in life. You have a long time ahead of you, but that's no reason to wait.

Good luck.

just dont rush in to it it will come some day trust me just play it cool cause i am 16 an ive had sex loads of time but i wish i never had because i dont feel like i lost my
viginity with the right girl an now i ave got a kid at the age of 17

GOOD LUCK PLAY IT COOL

first time do it with a hooker

No no no. That wouldn't help at all. (sigh)

The first time, make sure you spend lots of time enjoying yourself, foreplay, and perform oral/ manual sex on the girl until she has an orgasm. Do this before you even have intercourse. Not only will it prepare her physically for sex, but she will love you for it. And after your stunning performance in the first act, she won't care if you only last 3 seconds, and you won't feel pressured that you let her down.

Guys!! Most women orgasm from clitoral stimulation, which is hard (and takes practice) to be able to stimulate through just vaginal sex. If you want to please the girl, just sticking your penis in there isn't going to help.

That's a woman's opinion.

Bloody hell. We're a dime a dozen, aren't we? I agree with several previous posters' recommendation of THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN. Hilarious, hilarious, AND extremely cathartic for the lovelorn. In regards to the topic at hand...

I didn't notice girls in middle school or high school or during my short, stoned and drunken stint at university. The first time I ever really NOTICED a girl, I was 23 or 24. But, by then, a fellow is assumed to have lots of experience with women. And I don't mean just sexual experience; I mean relational experience - emotional intimacy, vulnerability, fights and forgiveness, ho-hum day-to-day, quiet gratitude. I didn't have any such experience. I thought I would be thought a complete weirdo if she found out, but I had no interest in playing a part. My mind told me that I couldn't make a move, so I didn't. We spent a lot of time together alone, and I let my feelings just sit inside, intensifying. BIG MISTAKE. A vivid imagination spins out fantasy after fantasy about an idyllic love life with the girl you're desiring. Even if you try to supress it, knowing it is folly, the wonderful little stories just keep on coming. And of course they do. They are comforting. They allay the loneliness a little.

Eventually, I told her how I felt, but it was awkward and creepy. A real mess. Forget about it. That was some 8 years ago, and I still haven't been able to express myself to women I've liked. There was one girl I really fancied. I thought I might marry her. She was romantically retarded, too, which was part of the attraction. But after spending more time with here, I found her company exhausting. I won't tell her faults, but they were there - as are mine.

Recently, I've allowed the same bloody damn thing that happened with the first girl to happen with another girl. I haven't talked to her in a few days. I can't bring myself to call her or text her or go see her at work. And I'll tell you why: a fierce desire for her coupled with a rather intense fear of her overloads the system. The gears freeze. This probably comes off as a kind of defense - as me saying that I'm in the right, but wounded, so don't judge me or think less of me, just pity my plight and admire my bold confessions. I tell you, dear reader, that is NOT what I'm trying to say. I'm trying to say that my feelings are intense, and I don't know how to manage them. I've been supressing them for so long, I don't know how to process them or use them. They just intensify and, being supressed, the FESTER. Yikes. All positive is stuffed away and turns into negative. Not into anger or resentment, but into melancholy and regret. Nightmare! That's my story. ON THE UPSIDE... They say that knowing is half the battle. I think that's rubbish. I'd say that, now I know, the battle's only just begun. But the victory may be swift, so there's courage and good cheer to be taken. I am, in fact, emotionally far behind my peers. Where they found themselves at age 14, I find myself at age 31. Romance scares me, but attracts me. If that's how YOU feel about romance, dear reader, I think you'll do well to express these feelings to the object of your desire as soon as you can. Find an appropriate conversation to tie it into when you're just starting to get to know one another. Then she'll know, and you won't be obsessing about what she'll think if she finds out. You are who you are. Let your light shine. People like that sort of thing. Besides, if you believe in Jesus Christ, I can assure you that if HE can love you, ANYONE can.

I agree with FatFamily02!
I'm 19, not a virgin but I would LOVE to be with one.
A little chubbiness is no big deal. I think big guys are sexy.
5.5-6" penis is PERFECT I don't like em too much bigger.
Baby don't worry. You'll find the right girl.
If not call me and I'll show you a good time for free ^.~

Awwww! omg I didnt read all the pages but now I did.
Hey I feel bad. My bf was in the same boat with me. I know that there is WAAAAY too much for explaining. So if any of you guys wanna talk to a VERY open minded bi sexual girl about this, please pm me. I really think maybe I can help :-/ maybe... Or atleast make you feel a little better.

This is a reply I gave to someone with a similar thing. If the spots are on the head of the penis and the foreskin then it should apply to you:

It could be PPP. I don't know too much about it but I know it's harmless. I have a similar thing, a cluster of small white bumps on both the foreskin and on the glans. Search for Hirsuties papilla genitalis on Wikipedia for images.

I didn't look for treatment because mine are fairly small and if it's totally harmless I'm not too fussed.

I should add that there's no pictures of it on the foreskin, only on the head of the penis. If it's similar to mine the ones on the foreskin are white and somewhat smaller than the picture shows. Reminds me of the heads of cauliflowers.

Soon to be 23 year old male virgin here.

Came across this topic looking for stories of people who are 20-something virgins like me. I've finished reading the entire topic and it's definitely given me a new light on the subject. I don't have much to add to the topic other than my own story; Shy, insecure, geek, etc. Sound familiar? But I do want share the thoughts that have changed for me after reading this topic.

I used to think that I wanted to save my virginity for that "special someone" as well, but after reading some of the stories here from people who are much older than me, I definitely do not want to be in their situation. Keeping one's virginity to the point where it begins to depress them doesn't seem worth it at all. I'm rather content right now even though I'm a virgin, but I don't think it will be the same in 10 or even 5 years should it remain like this.

Me being very shy and cynical, I may just have to change around quite a bit in order to prevent this. As long as I lose it to someone I genuinely like, I think I'll be fine. It doesn't have to be someone I have to spend the rest of my life with anyway.

I can't really give any advice, but maybe some people who come across this will come to the same realization as I have.

Best of luck to you all! =)

I'd say just give it a go. Try...see what happen's if it works, than it's good. If it doesn't, you will always be able to learn from your mistakes. It is a road that everyone goes down, regardless of age.Good luck.

Im 21, and a virgin. Im 22 soon. Ive never kissed a guy or been on a single date. Im female.

I got rejected by a guy i really fancied when i was 14, He didnt want me. I was depressed for about 6 years...im not totally happy now. I feel my life has gone so wrong...in every way.

I am getting prepared to be a virgin in my thirties.

AP, Essex

i really dont think a guy should be ashamed if he's sexually inexperienced..i actually prefer that in a guy...i dont want a guy with a ton of baggage...its a huge turn off for me..i dont take sex lightly, i didn't lose my virginity until i was 19..to my now boyfriend...he's only been with one other girl before me...i prefer that, i just think its gross to have a guy thats been with a ton of girls personally..clearly they dont have the same views on sex as i do.....so dont feel bad at all about it, it'll happen when you're ready..just dont rush it..wait for the right girl

Dont worry about anything man.....I lost my virginity when I was 18 now 21 and I regret it because the person was a girlfriend but no one if I could change the hands of time would re do the same. Your actually suppose to wait until marraige to have sex but otherwise atleast with the right person. I know many women that would lunge at you due to the fact that your a virgin on more than even a sexual aspect of if too....dont fret on being a virgin or overweight and most of all the penis size. The world makes guys feel insecure about penis size but its all about how you work it now the size. I got friends that have had the worse sex with a guy with a big penis so thats no worry I promise you. Just be you, and since your a social person take your steps along with flirting and things will go accordingly. Stay in social places the place depending on what your looking for and as long as you gove the effort and remain calm the right one will soon follow.

"Hey, just wanted to give the female perspective again, back up what the last person said. Any woman who is going to think badly of u for being a virgin isn't worth your time. Relax. Everthing will work out in time, but please don't rush it and go to a "profesional". You sound like a sweat, caring person that some lucky woman will find when the time is right. Lots of luck!"

No man, that's bad advice, you've been told that for the past 20 years haven't you? Look where it has gotten you.

Your penis is average sized by the way.

I am sitting at my computer looking for things to do. Through one of my searches I happen to find a different topic which leads me to this site.

I just wanted to say how comforting it is to find this forum. I think my situation has to do with my own low self-esteem and inability to really make new friends, although I do consider myself more sociable these past couple of years.

To the original poster, although I was not a dedicated guy like you, I too feel like I've really missed out on some of the important things in life, mainly sex.

I too am hoping to meet Ms. Right and haven't given up hope. This past year I've been doing a little more, including joining a pool league. I got a girl's number once, it didn't amount to anything, but it was still nice to be able to get the girl's number.

I haven't had time to read everyone's suggestions, so I don't know if anyone has suggested the most obvious solution. Take a little trip to Nevada, if you catch my meaning. Lots of women provide sexual experience to men for a price, so there's no romantic hassle, no fear of rejection or ridicule, and if you do it safely (ie, not on the streets and not without a condom) virtually no danger of arrest, disease, or robbery.

i am 56 and also a virgin. i am waiting for my princess laya so that i can be her shrek. i think it is admirable of you to keep your man stick in your trousers, lad. long live and prosper. may the force be with you. god speed

I, too, am a 28 year-old virgin. Unlike you, I am a woman. I understand how ridiculous it feels to be a nearly-thirty year-old virgin (and perhaps the only person I know who still hasn't cashed in their V-card), but, honestly, I'd love to find a guy my age to share our first time together. Heck, I'd settle for a guy who wasn't already pox-ridden.
I've had opportunities, but I've just never been with a guy I've really trusted. I guess I want to be with some one I really care about. Call me old-fashioned...
As for your 30th birthday plans: While I'd think it was sweet to actually find an honest-to-God virgin, I'd be kind of creeped out by a guy who's had sex with a prostitute. I'd feel uncomfortable having REAL sex with him. I think a lot of women would share my feelings on this...
And guys, really, stop with this preoccupation with penis size! It's just silly. Of my 10 closest girlfriends, ONE actually cares about the size of a guy's wang. (She's 6'1" and claims it's because she's "big" down-there.) 5-6 inches is average; average is good. There's a certain point where a larger penis becomes "let's just be friends" scary.

can i just say,
not to be totaly prudish or anything
but if your penis is 5.5 - 6 " normal , id think any women would like to see it erect!
the average ERECT penis is 6" according to a programme i watched last night!
I do not think yu have any problems at all .
Congratulation on doing what you want and making a life for yourself. Sex does not = life!
Stop worrying and it will just come naturally.