28 Year Old Virgin - Help

All this stuff about the lenght has me wondering you measure from the tip to where?

In my opinion, if you sleep with a prostitute, you are just going to feel cheap and empty inside. Sex is about interaction and trust and attraction, and a whole load of other things that you're going to miss out on if you opt to go down the hooker road. In my opinion, you will regret it.

You seem to be building everything up to the first time.... Well what happens after that first time? It won't lead to anything. It will be no substitute for a happy relationship and i'm sure that is what you really want.

Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of - the more women a bloke has slept with the less I am attracted to him. And your penis is not too small, not too big. It's perfect! I know I speak for many when I say i'm not interested in penis size... The vagina is only about 10cm long. What are you going to do with a f**king 12 inch penis? F**k someone in australia?

Hey there. I just want to say that I applaud you for coming forward and saying your a virgin (especially being a male). In a society where men are portrayed many times as womanizers that keep scorecards on who/how many women they have had sex with, it is actually nice to hear that there is someone in their 20's that is actually a virgin and male. When it comes to love and something deep, you should do it when you feel the time is right (not just from peer pressure from other male buddies). I respect men that can stand firm on their own beliefs instead of following some "male guide" of what symbolizes a "man". Plus, who wants to sleep with a guy who has slept with 80 women...Yuck. I would rather be in a relationship with a guy who has had good long term relationships with a few women than dozens of meaningless relationships/one night standers with many-its not how many women--its when you feel your ready--and nothing else matters. Some people get love and lust confused.

Find love naturally---don't go to vegas and hook up with a hooker/stripper--more than likely--you'll lose your virginity---and possibly gain sexual diseases which isn't worth it---you seem balanced--let it happen when your ready.

You know,i would love3 to have been with a virgin.Not be with him but actually be with him as a couple and get to know him cause I think for a guy to hold out that long is awesome.You should not be embarassed about it.Not all girls want sex.It will happenn when it is suppose to happen and with the person you feel it will be right.Its a natural thing so obviously it will come naturally to you about what you are suppose to do.I give you props and enjoy your first time!

Alright brother, i'm in the same boat.

I'm 21, a university student, and i've never had sex before either.

We all saw the after school specials when we were younger about how you need to be in love, you don't want to do anything that will offend the girl, wait till your ready blah blah blah...

Lies. All of it.

You get no respect like this. I've had a boatload of girls who I really liked, who I knew would love to be with me, but because I had this preconceived notion in my head that I didn't want to offend them, or that I was scared that they wouldn't like me when they knew I had never had sex before. These girls left me for guys who could make a move.

Because women have had guys trying to get in their pants since they were 14 years old, they think you're weird if you don't try it also. Now that doesn't mean you have to be all over her from the first second you meet her, but if you fail to let her know that you very badly want to have sex with her, then you have no chance. They will assume that you are not into them.

The longer you let this go, the harder it will become... Hahaha wouldn't it have been so much easier to go through all of this when we were young?

And the penis size? Forget about that man... A vagina can expand to take almost any size penis, or tighten to pleasure a smaller one...

My advice? Don't have sex with a hooker... Sleep with a woman that turns you on. You don't need to be in love, but a woman that you are attracted to and you like... That's a lot of pressure for a regular girl, taking a 28 year old man's virginity, so don't tell her your a virgin until after... Because then it really won't matter anymore. Then you can have a deep, intellectual conversation about it if that flaots your boat, or forget about it and move on.

And the bottom line? It's not about going where no man has gone before... It's about going where you have never gone before... Step your game up, you'll be proud of yourself afterwards, and besides, what do you have to lose? (besides your virginity :lol: )

Don't have sex because you feel that you have to, have sex if you both want to and don't forget the condoms. Sex to me is just more than just sex, it is a feeling that two people share together, especially your 1st time.
I do realize that this is an old post.
Good luck!

I too was a 28 year old virgin until last month.

Let me start off by saying that I am shy and suffer from a severe lack of confidence. I didnt believe that it was possible for a girl to be interested in me sexually. I have had female friends all my life and they always tell me how great and nice and kind etc etc etc I am but they would never have anything to do with me beyond friendship.

In high school and college I would develop serious crushes on certain girls (i thought this was love) and I would hang out with them for years and years and never make a move out of fear. Eventually we would lose touch. In college, after nights of drinking or drugs I hooked up with a few other girls and had brief relationships with them and did many things, however I never had true penetrative sexual intercourse with them. One of them may have had sex with me but I told her I had never had sex before and I think she was wierded out or was bothered by it and we never did.

Last month, a few days before valentines day I went out with a bunch of people , including a group of girls that my roommate has been friends with for years, some of whom ive also known. I hit it off really well with one of them and spent the entire night close to each other and we wound up back at her place making out and she stated that she wanted to have sex with me and so I did. We then began a relationship where we hang out almost every day and have sex multiple times a night and spend weekends in bed and call out sick from work and take half days to be with one another and have sex in different rooms while our roommates are at work. Shes said many times that I am very big and that I am really good at sex, particularly oral sex. Its been amazing, shes so cool and I really enjoy hanging out with her.

I was on top of the world until this last saturday when she decided she wanted to "know where I was coming from" and she asked about my prior relationships. I told her pretty much the same as what I wrote above but I didnt say that I was a virgin. Then the next morning during pillowtalk she asked "youve had sex with other people before me right?" and I tried to lie, but I couldnt and it was revealed that I was a virgin. She was very surprised and said she never would have known because supposedly I am very good. This didnt matter because at that moment I was absolutely embarrassed beyond belief and I felt my newfound confidence going right down the toilet. I was mortified that this piece of info was going to kill the relationship and completely alter her perception of me and that she would think I was an absolute weirdo and that this would change the natural flow of our relationship. She assured me everything was fine, she thought it was great and that she had a lot of respect for me and that nothing would change. (i strongly believe that if she had known I was a virgin from the start this relationship would not exist). I would be so much happier had she not asked me. I wouldve told her eventually, but not now.

Then she felt that she needed to tell me about her past and even though I didnt want to know I found myself asking questions and hearing answers I could not deal with. I knew it was stupid to think she might have been a virgin (shes 26) but I really didnt want to know any details. She feels that now we know about each other we can be even closer. I guess I agree, but im also bothered to know that she has been having sex for years, that she had sex with at least 3 other people and that she had anal sex with one of them. I am jealous of these guys even though she says I am the best guy both sexually and otherwise that she has ever known and that I have nothing to worry about. She also said she had never taken anyones virginity before. At 28 years old, I know im never going to be able to say that phrase to anyone.

After finding out this information about her I went from being the happiest ive ever been in my life to being completely racked with extreme depression and embarrassment over the choices I have made in my life. I feel like I wasted my youth and my college years when I should have been banging hot young girls instead of playing the part of the "good guy" because thats what I thought was the "right" thing to do. I was putting the vagina up on a pedestal for way too long (the 40 year old virgin is the most educational thing I have ever seen, ironically I saw it for the first time, the day after I had sex for the first time.) I should have been like a normal person and had sex at a young age. Im almost 30 for crying out loud.

I am unbelievably depressed and embarrassed and feel that I wasted my life and now my amazingly beautiful, fun and kind girlfriend is afraid that I am going to leave her in order to have sex with random girls to make up for lost time. I assured her I wouldnt and it made me even more depressed that I made her feel this way. I dont know what to do, I really dont. If anyone can enlighten me in any way I need to hear it. I need help. I cant shake this feeling that I am a big embarrassing failure coupled with jealousy over her past. I really need help. I find myself hating her for asking me and having me reveal that I was a virgin and also for revealing her past. I dont want to feel this way because I really do like her a lot. That day she told be she loves me and I said that I think I love her too. Shes everything I could ever want out of a woman and we share a much greater bond than just having sex.

My advice for all you guys is to not be afraid of girls or sex. Get out there and have fun and meet people and try to hook up with a hot girl or two. We cant let all these guidos and other assorted garbage have all the fun all the time. We are the good guys and we should get what we deserve. Watch the 40 year old virgin and take the advice they give in the movie as absolute gospel. Had this movie been made 10 years ago I would be a completely different person now, instead of this big depressed confused awkward jealous waste of a human being that I am now. Im really concerned for myself and dont know what to do.

You are definetly not a waste of human being!Why would you say/think such things about yourself? I think it is cool for a guy to stay a virgin and wait until they are ready.The reason people lose their virginity so young is b/c #1 they think its cool,and its what the grown ups do.They have no idea what they are getting into.At an older age you have had time to understand what responsibilities come with having sex,babies, stds and all. I think you are a good guy and you finally have a good girl,don't mess up what you have.If she thinks your going to leave her to go have sex with other girls you just need to keep reassuring her it wont happen and it also takes time.Trust takes time.Please don't be ashamed of your past and don't hold hers against her. : ) good luck!

I thank you for your response but I wish someone could give me more than the usual "being a virgin is cool", because while it might be nice to be chaiste and wait for your wedding day and all that, its also very sad. I need to hear from someone thats been through the same thing

i just wish there was a way to erase the enormous regret and jealousy that I have. Its basically the old "if I knew then what I know now" routine. I allowed fear and lack of confidence in myself to essentially ruin my life and make me miss out on a lot of good things. I never thought it was a problem but now I view myself as someone with a potential mental disorder. I wish I could make this feeling go away. Sex is great and I love my girlfriend, but being a 28 year old virgin and revealing it to your amazing girlfriend and then finding out shes been around the block more than once is really destructive, at least to me. Embarrassment and jealousy is a powerful force. Im concerned that I wont be able to get over this and it will bother me for a long long time.

My girlfriend is happy with it and says its good because I cant compare her to anyone else. I think thats a pretty effed up obnoxious thing to say, even though it really probably isnt.

Everyone I know is happy for me that im with this girl, but deep down I know the happiness stems from the fact that I was always a gigantic loser and now finally by some supernatural force ive been given a chance to have something more meaningful in my life than star wars toys. I really regret my life choices and its crushing me now. Im afraid. I should be very happy and content and instead I find myself becoming more and more sad that I waited so goddam long to experience something so natural and trivial and basic to our existence as beings on this planet. Its like waiting 28 years to take a leak.

I need someone to give me the real deal here on how to deal with my problem. Should I break up with this girl and start life anew as a realistic bonafide human-being that now knows that sex is not this unnattainable thing for me, or should I stay with her because I like her a lot and want to be with her?

Had she just kept her mouth shut things would be absolutely peachy for me right now.

This is not for the faint of heart

hey, this is strange, im 20 and stil a virgin, ive got no job and not really held a stable job since I left school, I dont have much social life, I play computer games a lot, ive only ever had 1 gf and the furthest I got was snogin her, whoop de do, lets party, our lives rock, w0o0o0o0o0ot! I go snooker once a week, which is cool, yay! That peter guy n his wife, wot nobs! People like that exist! Why? Lol, anyway, well I hav friends, but I rarely see them, I only see 1 of my mates regularly, I get stoned a lot now, which is f*ckin crap, I actualy quit for 3 months last november til february, but now I smoke again, I sumtimes go karate, I am gona use this as a dating board like that nob was saying bout, 5.5 inches of pure english meat ^^ do u love it, mmmm, I said yer, do u love it, yeeeeeer! lmao, im goin crazy, I cant handle all this truth revealing to people about me being a virgin an all that, I never talk to any1 about it, hardly any of my friends no, I hardly even no any of my friends anymore, sum of them I never even really got to no, we just simply coexist, wow, great

no.. I aint really that crazy, im quite level headed, I am aproachable I would say, I dont like loud mouths, attention seekers, I dont like the idea of gays being allowed to kiss in public, I think they should make more clubs play trance, hard house type music instead of that crappy black music, rap, rnb, all that sh*t, thats y I hardly see most of my m8s, cos they go clubin, and I hate that niga music (i am not racist, they call each other niga, so y cant I call them a person, huh?) hmm, I jus thought maybe I am quite oppinunated but sometimes indecisive, this is deep man, this is like my mind unvailed, I like partys, I think spastics and midgets r hilarious, I feel sorry for them tho, as they should feel sorry for me '5.5' erm, I usualy dont rant this much, I am usualy really quite quiet, quite shy, I hate people who r racists, wot twats, they shouldnt even be allowed to exist, crush em to a pulp them use them as furtaliser.. I bet I sound so weird, sum of the stuf I said, it was basically jus woteva I thought, I was thinkin a lot lately about how it would be cool if you could relive your past life exactly as it happened and see everything again but stil hav it there as a memory as u r living it, like reliving the good times in ya life, enuf of me, sorry if I offended any1, byee

Oh yer, and dude, I went to amsterdam wen I was 19 last september, I could hav done a prozy there, but tbh mate, its not worth it, hold ur dignity, I did, wen me an my mates went to a strip bar and I got offered sex twice by the strippers, obviously u hav to pay, tempting, but nah tnx, id rather it be with a gf, sum1 closer than sum prozy, my life aint going anywhere fast, but nevermind, i'l get over it, remember, theres always jesus, lmao, sum1 had to mention jesus sooner or later, and I jus wanted it to be me before any1 else told him to hav faith in jesus.. I aint actualy religious, I think the whole jesus is lord thing is quite funny, but anyway, im startin to rant, basically, dont do the proz, if anything, take the easy way out :/ jokin, bye

Hey,
this is coming from a girl's pov...
I'm 22 and a virgin. I've had alot of encounters with guys before, pashed a couple on the dancefloor in one night, got naked with a couple, had oral sex even. But I could never go all the way...Actually lose my virginity to any of them...Cos they weren't 'the one'. I can never lie about my virginity to the guy i'm with...I always tell them, some a bit late maybe, when he's just about to enter me lol! I want my first time to be special...I've waited so long now, so I think I wanna be kind to myself and wait a bit longer. Guys always tell me i'm very sexual, the way I dance, my body, how I act when i'm alone with them, even in public. When the guy finds out i'm a virgin, he tells me straight up that he doesn't want to be me first time, so I guess even they know that the first time is really special....
Goodluck :wink:

I was a 28 year old male virgin up until a few months ago. Should I feel stupid that I never had sex with a virgin? My girlfriend who is 26 has had sex with others and I feel that I missed out. Anyone have any thoughts? Is having sex with a virgin a big deal? I doubt that if I knew that a girl was a virgin I could take her virginity without really caring for her. What are the odds of me finding a girl in my age range thats still a virgin? Not that I am going to do this, im just wondering what the stats are because apparently everyone screws like rabbits and I missed the boat.

Hi, i've been reading this forum and I couldn't help thinking about my current situation...I'm a 30 year old virgin and this sucks!!!

I'm incredibly skinny (1m81cm tall, only 50kg...:( ) and also shy. I have a lousy job, my income is very small and i'm still living in my parents house.

I'm very insecure about myself. I know i'm a loser. I don't feel normal. I've spent countless hours doing therapy, but the results never came. It´s interesting, with all this talk about penis size, I kinda thing my size is average (16 cm), but the girth is laughable :( .

I'm not getting younger, I know that! I've lost all my hope. Fear controls my life. I've abandoned my friends because of this...I couldn't help feeling that my constant winning was boring them, so I have left. On the other hand, I work with several good looking women and kind of "hip" guys. Sex is one of the main issues of our conversations, and I know they see my lack of experience. Miles away! And i've listened to the way they treat virginity...With contempt.

I don't know what to do. I have fell in love with several girls, but things never happened. They ignored me. That was awful. But it got worse...Some of them became my "friends". Believe me, there's nothing worse than that.

I have no solution for my life. I've tried to put all this behind me, to became some sort of "religious" figure, someone who doesn't need sex to be happy, but i've failed.

I don't know what to do...I could go and seek "professional" help, but the hookers here in portugal are very ugly and don't look that clean...

"life is a pigsty"

I didnt have sex till I was 28 and like you all my friends knew about this and I would often be ridiculed in my early life ( I have errection difficulties which have caused this )but I used this as a tool to get my self reasonably fit and try and be a nicer person having been on the other side of the jokes.

I tryed to go with a prostitute but was so nervus that I couldnt get hard! Not only embaresing but expensive! Lol...She actually offered me some advice in her broken english.." dont smoke so much"

dont hide behind religion or false beliefs as an excuse even if it offers u a defence in social situations, this isnt what u really want! U really need to help your self! #

although looks shouldnt be important they do have an impact. Try n join a gym or buy some weights and stick at it regualrly and build yourself up a bit, nothing comes fast so stick at it. After u toned up a bit may be join a dating agencey if only for fun. Dont sit infront of the internet or tv for too long either get out there and do a hobby or evening classes.

Iv actually met someone who is wonderful and really likes me and helped me with many things, I still feel insecure but now its about different things.

Any way good luck with all that u do...........

Ps..... I got a small dick and still live at home............=)

I find it most appealing and sweet that you are still a virgin.

Aside from that, you sound like quite a catch...And any girl would be lucky to be with you. Hard-working, ethical, and goal-driven. Do you not realize what a catch you are?

Also, from a female perspective here, it doesn't matter how much experience (or lack thereof) someone has; it's very emotional and when you're with someone for the right reasons (such as love), things like this don't matter. So, although you may feel uncomfortable, don't be. Discuss it with your partner. I'm sure she'd understand.

Although it's difficult for me to give advice since i'm not in your shoes, I know definitely definitely do not do the vegas thing. I think you'll end up regretting it, and you seem like the type of guy who wouldn't do it normally, so don't do it now. There is a girl out there waiting for you, and she wouldn't approve :)

you're definitely a diamond...And stay that way. You'll find a girl soon enough....

I'm even tempted to ask you out.

Good luck!