28 Year Old Virgin - Help Posted: 03-30-05 03:29am
Hi,
after a long time I actually decided to
talk about my issues with someone, so best
place to start is a forum like this.
Let me explain my situation. I'm a 28
year old virgin and i'm having problems
approaching women because of my "flaw"
because I simply don't know how to handle
sexual encounter.
I know that some people would think that I
have serious psychological problems, but I
think this is not the case. I am normal
person, a bit overweight but all in all
interesting and appealing to women. I'm
fairly good looking and have no physical
problems except for being somewhat
overweight. It's funny how I can even
sense interest in women for me but i'm
afraid to pursue it any further then
flirting.
For those who might ask how, in this
society, this might happen, I would like
to explain. When I was a kid, I was
preoccupied with school, art and later
technology and computers. Since I am the
only child, I had the tendency to overwork
myself trying to make my family proud and
create something out of myself. Even
though, socially very active, I missed out
on a lot of things that young people my
age did at that time (clubbing, going out
with girls even drinking). I guess, I was
saying my time will come and I should
continue dedicating myself to career and
that I will find someone who will be right
for me over time.
Well this road eventually took me to being
a very successful persona in life, however
i'm afraid that I actually missed out on
the most important thing in life.
Now, i'm a half a man, with somewhat lack
of confidence approaching women, because I
believe that any woman who would be even
interested in me, would find me abnormal
for not having any romantic/sexual
experience as a man at my age. I also
became less confident about my penis size
(5.5"-6"), thinking that even if I somehow
found the right person, I would be
abandoned after that girl would lack
satisfaction from me.
It's interesting how I can handle so many
harder things in life but not one single
fairly normal thing as having sex.
Now as time passes i'm seriously
considering taking the easy route and just
going to las vegas and having sex with a
"professional" and several times at that,
to try to learn more. I'm starting to
think that i'm simply a very disturbed
person and that this might be the only way
to set myself free.
I want to get married one day, have kids
and dedicate myself to family, but it
seems that unless I do this, I wouldn't
know how. I'm even starting to work on my
body so hard, to get in top shape, hoping
that this will also give me more
confidence and success in making love with
women.
If anyone can advise me on what I should
do or if there's another way I can solve
this problem I have, I would really
appreciate it.
It's funny how I always believed that,
it's better to have sex when you grow up,
because you can understand it better,
experience it with understanding of love,
closeness to another person. But it seems
that today, in our society, this is not
the case any more and that i'm doomed to
stay alone forever. It's all about good
looks, one night stands, great lovers, big
penises and breasts etc.
Well hope someone will be able to help me
here.
Thanks for reading.
- just a guy
|
tomz
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2004 Posts: 62 Location: Pennsylvania
Hello! Posted: 03-31-05 05:34am
Guyphx:
even though my circumstances may have been
different, the results were the same. I
was single and alone at your age.
In my situation, I did not have a good
role model of a marriage from my parents
or good communication with my father on
how to pursue girls.
To keep this short, I would recommend the
following:
1. To be in a position to meet someone,
you must be in the place to socialize
around girls. What type of girl are you
looking for? The faithful ready to
marry, may be a large
church/interdenomiation singles group, the
partying type (bar scene?), fitness club,
art association. The point is to find
opportunity to meet girls in a safe
environment to develope an aquaintenance
friendship.
2. At this point if you find someone you
are interested. Pursue. Send her
flowers, ask her out, romance her, find
out what makes her tick. When given the
opportunity alone, kiss her. I started
see my wife when I was 31, she has her
own issues but it took her almost a year
and 1/2 to realize her feelings for me.
As long as you have a dating relationship,
wear her down. As the man, you need to
take the first step, make yourself
vulnerable and ask the girls for a date or
do something you have with a common
interest. If the relationship doesn't go
anywhere, learn from it and try again with
someone else.
3. Read books about relationships to
understand relationships. Read books on
personality types to understand people.
I even read men's health magazine for it
gave insight on men's issue.
If you have any other questions, feel free
to continue on this forum or send a
private message.
As a guy, when you find a girl you are
interested in, you must take the chance
and pursue and hopefully wow her. There
is the opportunity of getting hurt or
rejected. That is not the end of the
world. You learn from the relationship,
move on, and use the experience to make
you a better person for the next girl to
come along.
Let me know if you have any other
comments,
tom
|
dgroebe
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Mar 2005 Posts: 4
Posted: 03-31-05 16:54pm
Okay here is the deal, I have been in
those shoes. I was 22 not 28 but I had
the same feelings about the small penis.
You have to deal with this, the penis is
not as important to woman as you think.
She is not going to deny you because of
this, if she did she is the one with the
problem. I realized just what I was doing
after I met my girlfriend. You are making
excuses, the penis being one of those
things a lot of men are insecure about.
You are using your insecurity to feed your
fear, and fear is the operative word hear.
You fear women!!! Now that someone said
it how ridicules does it sound. I made
the same excuses except I was worse, I
didn't have a job, I lived with my
parents, I was very over weight, I didn't
have a car, I do not look good at all, I
am a obsessive computer geek, and to top
it all off I have ocd!!! I did it, I
found a girl, we have sex every night, and
last week I asked her to marry me and she
said yes. As opposed to me you are doing
good. This is how I overcame, I read lots
of books about sex... Lots of books. Pay
attention to the for-play this is your
personal secret weapon. Most guy's are
just selfish, this is where you will
prevail, this is going to make her friends
jealous. As for breaking out of your
shell, start speaking to women around you,
in the store, at work, anywhere you can.
Slowly you will learn that they just want
an object to crave and if you are
confident you can be that object.
|
scpa
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Apr 2005 Posts: 17 Location: PA
Posted: 04-28-05 12:37pm
Dude, first of all, screw the viagra
thing. If you can get hard, you don't
need it. Having a not so big dick is not
the end of the world. It's what god gave
you, enjoy it. (i'm only 6" myself but
have great sex...Just have to learn how to
use it...) about the hooker...Don't demean
yourself like that. You are a man, not a
half a man, just a man. Just go with the
flirting when your with a girl, and when
you would normally stop, just get to know
her, let herself get to know you, and
you'll be fine. And don't let your
weight be a stumbling block either. I've
been chubby myself, but if a girl likes
you for you, she probably won't mind a
little belly. If it really bothers you,
join a gym and lose it. Most of all,
don't be embarassed about your physical
body. Learn to enjoy it and to be able
to give enjoyment and pleasure to someone
else with it.
|
tellul8ter
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Apr 2005 Posts: 4 Location: Maine
Posted: 04-28-05 14:00pm
Hi, I saw this and just had to reply, I
can tell you from a womans point of view
that you being a virgin at 28 is a great
thing, not bad. My fiance was 34 before
he lost his virginity. I've known him for
over 25 years and it was an honor that he
decided that I was the one. Don't do the
"hooker" thing. If you've waited this
long make it worthwhile. If not for love
than at least someone you'll have fond
memories of. My fiance was so nervous he
could have thrown up and being with
someone you're comfortable with could make
all the difference in the world. As for
the 5.5-6 inch thing, that's average, not
small and not scary. Any woman who has a
problem with that has seen too many toys
and not enough actual men. I wish you the
best of luck.
|
tink85
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 May 2005 Posts: 4 Location: PA
Posted: 05-05-05 09:45am
Hey, just wanted to give the female
perspective again, back up what the last
person said. Any woman who is going to
think badly of u for being a virgin isn't
worth your time. Relax. Everthing will
work out in time, but please don't rush it
and go to a "profesional". You sound
like a sweat, caring person that some
lucky woman will find when the time is
right. Lots of luck!
|
truckstophero
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 84 Location: alabama
Posted: 07-28-05 19:25pm
If this is not a caca thread then my
advice, as a 28 year old virgin too is
wait.
I am not ugly, have travelled the world,
have lots of friends and had lots of
interest from women but have never gone
all the way just because I am old
fashioned and want to wait till I meet my
soul mate. I havent yet and so I will
wait, otherwise what was the point of
waiting so long anyway, I might aswell
have started at 13. I believe sex is
something precious, not a sport. I think
its perfect place is within a loving
relationship with trust and commitment.
If thats worth waiting for I will wait. I
can't be bothered to throw it away on some
cheap prostitute in vegas.. You will feel
sick afterwards and have basically only
masturbated with another body and not made
love.
Forget it. Virginity or lack of does not
define a man, the ability to commit and
love does.
|
forgotten soul
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Aug 2005 Posts: 4 Location: conscience
people Posted: 08-03-05 19:00pm
I was 12 wen I first got laid n im lovin a
bit o vagina everyday!
|
dimp
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Aug 2005 Posts: 10
Re: people Posted: 08-03-05 19:06pm
forgotten soul
wrote:
i was 12 wen I first got
laid n im lovin a bit o vagina
everyday!
dude your a dick
|
ravenightmares
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jul 2005 Posts: 12 Location: alabama
Posted: 08-03-05 19:14pm
Actress lisa kudro, from "friends", lost
her virginity when she got married at 31.
Its good to have morals, dot go out having
sex with arandom person just so you can
say your not a virgin, wait til you meet
the right woman, but you have to be honest
about the virgin thing, I dont think any
woman will make too big a deal about
it,dont worry.
|
brothaman
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Aug 2005 Posts: 1
28 Year Old Virgin Posted: 08-07-05 02:26am
Man don't even trip on being a
virgin!!!!!!! A lot of people out there
wish
they could say they are still virgins.
Why do you think some people are
getting operations done to become so
called virgins again. You have
something that a lot of people can never
ever get back regardless of
becoming celibate or having operations
done. Once it's lost it's gone
forever!!! Me myself i'm a 22 year old
virgin that's not doing anything
until i'm damn well ready. I get plenty
of opportunities to have sex but I
choose not to. If I do have sex with a
nice young women it's going to be
one that I want to sleep with. I don't go
for the crap end of the stick just
to fit in with what's supposedly the norm.
I look at it as a power thing
sometimes being that most dudes out there
have sex because they feel it
makes them a bonafide man. What they fail
to see is that it doesn't and
they are only doing it out of peer
pressure. A man does what he wants,
when he wants to do it ,and how he wants
to do it. A man does what he
wants boys only do what they can. Man
more than half these dudes out
here that screw anything that walks aren't
doing anything except making
illegitimate children that they don't
bother to raise. In my opinion that
ain't no man that's a straight punk. I'll
end this off by telling you just to
not only be true to yourself and what you
like to do be happy with who
you are and what you like to do. Just
keep it real and there ain't no
stopping you man!! Holla back!!
|
truckstophero
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 84 Location: alabama
Posted: 08-07-05 08:03am
Sex without love is just masturbation with
another body. I want to make love, not
f***
|
fatfamily02
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 3050 Location: Georgia, USA
Re: 28 Year Old Virgin - Help Posted: 08-07-05 08:15am
guyphx
wrote:
hi,
after a long time I actually decided to
talk about my issues with someone, so best
place to start is a forum like this.
Let me explain my situation. I'm a 28
year old virgin and i'm having problems
approaching women because of my "flaw"
because I simply don't know how to handle
sexual encounter.
I know that some people would think that I
have serious psychological problems, but I
think this is not the case. I am normal
person, a bit overweight but all in all
interesting and appealing to women. I'm
fairly good looking and have no physical
problems except for being somewhat
overweight. It's funny how I can even
sense interest in women for me but i'm
afraid to pursue it any further then
flirting.
For those who might ask how, in this
society, this might happen, I would like
to explain. When I was a kid, I was
preoccupied with school, art and later
technology and computers. Since I am the
only child, I had the tendency to overwork
myself trying to make my family proud and
create something out of myself. Even
though, socially very active, I missed out
on a lot of things that young people my
age did at that time (clubbing, going out
with girls even drinking). I guess, I
was saying my time will come and I should
continue dedicating myself to career and
that I will find someone who will be right
for me over time.
Well this road eventually took me to being
a very successful persona in life, however
i'm afraid that I actually missed out on
the most important thing in life.
Now, i'm a half a man, with somewhat lack
of confidence approaching women, because I
believe that any woman who would be even
interested in me, would find me abnormal
for not having any romantic/sexual
experience as a man at my age. I also
became less confident about my penis size
(5.5"-6"), thinking that even if I somehow
found the right person, I would be
abandoned after that girl would lack
satisfaction from me.
It's interesting how I can handle so many
harder things in life but not one single
fairly normal thing as having sex.
Now as time passes i'm seriously
considering taking the easy route and just
going to las vegas and having sex with a
"professional" and several times at that,
to try to learn more. I'm starting to
think that i'm simply a very disturbed
person and that this might be the only way
to set myself free.
I want to get married one day, have kids
and dedicate myself to family, but it
seems that unless I do this, I wouldn't
know how. I'm even starting to work on
my body so hard, to get in top shape,
hoping that this will also give me more
confidence and success in making love with
women.
If anyone can advise me on what I should
do or if there's another way I can solve
this problem I have, I would really
appreciate it.
It's funny how I always believed that,
it's better to have sex when you grow up,
because you can understand it better,
experience it with understanding of love,
closeness to another person. But it
seems that today, in our society, this is
not the case any more and that i'm doomed
to stay alone forever. It's all about
good looks, one night stands, great
lovers, big penises and breasts etc.
Well hope someone will be able to help me
here.
Thanks for reading.
- just a guy
where do you live, your phone number,
maybe a pic???
Jk
i would give just about anything to have a
virgin for the first time. Guys get to
experience that all the time, but girls
not so much.
I am so just kidding--for I am happily
married, but if I weren't I would hunt you
down and give you the best time you ever
had. For real
i am an older woman so I think I know a
couple of things
good luck hon, dont worry you will find
her when you least expect it. Just relax
and let life happen.
|
wildkitty
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Oct 2005 Posts: 11 Location: holland
Re: 28 Year Old Virgin - Help Posted: 10-14-05 10:08am
Hello,
i fully understand your situation and all
but I thibk you shouldnt feel less
unconfident because my bf is also 28 and
still virgin( I live in holland he in
america) but he now has me and he will
come here next year!!!!
And we are very happy together!!!And I
also dont love him only cuz I care about
size....(hes not extremely hung!!!)but im
not that unhappy with it at all......Maybe
its about the chicks that just dont look
deeper!!!
Im sure that if you wont give up and
look(not desperately) you will find
someone.Just go out and look places and
have fun while doing it....
And also dont forget to stay who you
are.....Dont change who you are for what
ladies could want.
Wildcat
|
profoundpaul
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Nov 2005 Posts: 1 Location: Never land
Advice Needed! Posted: 11-05-05 21:17pm
Hi guy's. I found this site really
comforting. It's made me realise that i'm
not the only one! Altho i'm not 28 i'm
19, its still pretty tough with the
majority of my mates 'bragging' how much
sex they getting! But my fears are not of
woman finding my penis too small cus i'm
well hung, but i'm scared of 'finishing'
too quickley! Gets me all nervous just
thinking about it! I don't wonna make
myself look foolish! I wonna be mr
boombastic! Lol any tip's on how I can
overcome these fears? And finally meet a
decant gal? I'm partically interested in
womans opinions on this!
masturbating prior to sex will also help
you to last longer.
Hope this helps!
|
Lilypad
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 1043 Location: Ohio, USA
Posted: 11-06-05 05:01am
Watch the movie 40 year old virgin...You
will feel better I promise
|
cd998776
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Aug 2005 Posts: 997 Location: Ohio
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 11-06-05 16:17pm
^lol
|
bob2
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2005 Posts: 7 Location: spain
Posted: 11-15-05 12:31pm
How the hell is a 5.5 inch dick small!!!
I am gay and I can tell you that most guys
dicks are way smaller than this erect,
average i'd say around 4.5". No kidding!
|
Human
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Sep 2005 Posts: 89
Hookers Posted: 11-16-05 08:18am
Ok I dunno where your from. Where i'm
from we have brothels everywhere, gorgeous
women you go in choose one they give you a
room you both take a shower girls are
checked and tested. Anywho back to the
point. All these other guys seem so
against the option like your demeening
yourself. Truth is i've never actually
gone myself but many of my friends have,
theres a brothel a block down from where I
live and my god are those women hot.
Back to the point again for mental issues
(mental ed, virgin) i've noticed that
prostitutes are better than doctors i'm
not kidding. I know of 2 friends that
had serious problems 1 of them for a whole
year (girl told him his dick was small and
scarred him for a longgg time) until they
finally decided to go to a brothel. They
said their very understanding, actually
know a lot about dealing with men and
problems such as this. Anywho after
going both of my friends say the girls
helped them get over their problems
totally and completley. Another friend
used to be nervous as hell around girls,
he was a virgin like you and decided to
lose his virginity in that way and he
doesn't regret it one bit. I'm just
saying if you can find high quality places
like we have here where you live it's def
an option. Your not deamining yourself,
or stooping low, thats caca it's simply an
option and looking at other peoples
experiences it's actually helped where no
one else could.
