Help! What Is Wrong With Me....

In a way I kind of know what is wrong with me but my feelings go deeper and go way beyond what my disorder says I am. 2 years ago I was diagnosed with "social anxiety" I was always worried about what people thought of me, how they viewed me and constantly felt I was always being judged. I could never speak in front of a crowd without getting a panic attack.

But there is something else I am feeling...When it comes to my relationship:


my boyfriend has never given me a reason not to trust him but yet every time he goes out I cry my eyes out. I crawl on my hands and knees and beg him not to leave. I tell him I can't live without him and if he doesn't stay I will die of sadness. Then, when he does leave (especially if we are fighting) I bury my hands in my face and cry and cry for hours and hours as hard as I can. I then feel as though I don't have anybody and that everyone in the world is out to get me. My sadness that I feel at that time is unbearable, I just want to go to sleep and sleep it off so I don;t have to bear with the deep sadness that I am feeling. It's overwhelming. Also, other times we fight I tell him to leave and when he does leave I get in front of him and cry and tell him not to go. He told me once he couldn't be with me because of my "psycho" attacks and I got so mad that a smacked him on his face.

What is wrong with me!

I have everything in the world. I have a great family, great boyfriend, great job, great friends! But i've allowed myself to get so attached to my boyfriend where I don;t want him to have a life outside of mine. I want him to never hang out with his friend because I can;t bear to be without him....

Something is wrong with me, someone please help me understand!