Same here, dittos. I know what my problem is though, i'm just too shy. But it's different for guys and girls.

Usually girls can get away with being shy because shyness is actually kind of feminine. In this society the men are supposed to be the initiators, the aggressors, the pursuers. Women usually just sit pretty like a mannequin in the window and wait for a guy to sweep her off her feet. So being shy doesn't usually prevent women from getting dates, unless it prevents her from responding at all to the guys.

I really hate to say this, but if u honestly want to know what is wrong, i'm guessing it's probably your appearance :( it's unfortunate that men place so much stock in physical attributes. But hey, if I can overcome shyness, then anything is possible! You just have to not give urself the option of giving up. That's what i'm doing, and it's about time.

A lot of men concentrate a lot on looks/appearance but myself i'm not one of them. It just seems there are too many women who keep falling for the jerk boyfriends all the time and often more than once. For someone shy like me it's hard to go and talk to a woman just like that.

Invariably this creates the dilemma that I don't go up to the women and speak to her and the woman doesn't come up to speak to me. Don't know if it's fear of rejection, shyness or a combination.

It just seems there are very few men or women about who don't play these endless and pointless mind games and those few decent men or women that do exist are often taken so early on it means anyone like me (i'm nearly 29 and have always been single and any dates i've had have been total disasters where i've been messed around) is only left to find women who treat me like rubbish.

Oh to find a nice girlfriend who i'd like to spend the rest of my life with... Wishful thinking unfortunately...

A lot of men concentrate a lot on looks/appearance but myself i'm not one of them. It just seems there are too many women who keep falling for the jerk boyfriends all the time and often more than once. For someone shy like me it's hard to go and talk to a woman just like that.

Invariably this creates the dilemma that I don't go up to the women and speak to her and the woman doesn't come up to speak to me. Don't know if it's fear of rejection, shyness or a combination.

It just seems there are very few men or women about who don't play these endless and pointless mind games and those few decent men or women that do exist are often taken so early on it means anyone like me (i'm nearly 29 and have always been single and any dates i've had have been total disasters where i've been messed around) is only left to find women who treat me like rubbish.

Oh to find a nice girlfriend who i'd like to spend the rest of my life with... Wishful thinking unfortunately...

Hey I am in the exact same situation. Im 21...Never had a bf, never had a guy seriously interested in me..Nada. Its daammnn depressing. I don't know what to do either.
I am just one of those people who is embarssed in romantic situations. Also I am tall (5'10) and a bit overweight...Ruling out about half the male population cos no guys wants to be with a girl who is bigger than him.
It is really depressing..And I know how u feel. Msg me sometime..Maybe we can talk about it. I dont feel like I can talk about it with any of my friends...They have no problems.
:oops:

Hey I am in the exact same situation. Im 21...Never had a bf, never had a guy seriously interested in me..Nada. Its daammnn depressing. I don't know what to do either.
I am just one of those people who is embarssed in romantic situations. Also I am tall (5'10) and a bit overweight...Ruling out about half the male population cos no guys wants to be with a girl who is bigger than him.
It is really depressing..And I know how u feel. Msg me sometime..Maybe we can talk about it. I dont feel like I can talk about it with any of my friends...They have no problems.
:oops:

well,i have never had a girlfriend,lol,maybe there are a lot of reasons...
I am overweight a lot and trying to lose weight.I reckon that if I get rid of fatness,things will turn to be better.
To be honest,you are not too tall,therefore,if only you lost some weight,you won't be bigger than guys.

I've never had a b/f... I'm shy.. Mabbe.. I'm short & small.. So no one takes notice of me =( ... I'm not overweight though... Other than the shyness.. I'm not sure what it is..

maybe your problem is similar with me,ie,overweight.I am nearly 200 bls whilie I am just 6feet.I am trying to lose weight

Ladies,

men are shallow, but that can be overcome! Looks are the first thing we see (obviously) but we can we won over by your charm, persona, wit, sense of humor, common intrests, or common sexual appetite. If you need that leap, ask to go to out just as friends (and then put on the charm).

Just for curriosity sake, can you ladies send me a pix for reference. Maybe I can suggest some styling or clothing tips.

Man I wish guys were shallow! I was voted most attractive and it was not until my senior yr. I was actually asked to a dance. I guess it's one of those flukes because no one can control when and when they don't find someone, but man I wish I could! Especially when everyone you used to relate to is hooking up!!

Surgar coat it anyway you like. Obesity makes a big difference. Men are kinda shallow I guess sometimes. If a girl is kinda un attractive, with a good body she can have a better chance in relationships. If obese, then a prettier face can help. If big and unattractive, get into church and hope for a truely descent fellow maybe.

Its sad, but men marry a woman they are attracted to and learn to love them. Women tend to marry for love and learn to be attracted.

I hate putting it like this, but I was a low self esteemed overweight guy most my life. I alway felt depressed and tended to go years with no dates. I lost weight, built some confidence, and most importantly, I learned to be truley happy with no one. Then I met someone I couldnt even shue away. We got married and have 2 kids. Now guess what. She is now overweight but it doesnt matter. I love her. Anyway, that is my thoughts. Good luck.,,,,7

I really dont think obesity has anything to do with it. Ive seen lots of fat chicks who got a man and vice versa.

I guess im pretty much in the same boat. 24 never had a girlfriend, never been on a date. I guess I just appear to be shallow or have a lack of personality, I dont know.

I think I have learned that the longer you wait or let it go, the harder it gets to talk to anyone,

Women are just as shallow as men. Women are just more shallow about money, status, etc... When I was playing baseball at u of h and still kinda workin at a&f I loved life, now that i'm at a community college with my grandmother's car(totalled mine drinking) i'm realizing how much it sucks. Yes, if you are overweight, you are less likely to have tons of guys walk up to you so you have to make youself more outgoing. Join a gym(can't stress that enough) and you will feel and look better, therefore, attract more people. So just walk up to someone and say what's up, are you single? Or say, if you didn't have a boyfriend/girlfriend i'd say we should go get a drink. It works 50 percent of the time. By the way, everyone is shallow to an extent. The girl I just started talking to rolled her eyes when she realized i'm 24 at a comm college and living with my grandmother, hahahahaha. Rock & roll!

Not all men are shallow. Not all women are gold diggers.

The problem, I think, is possibly weight coupled with the shyness. We all notice appearance first, so obviously being a bombshell is a plus. But failing that, a great personality goes a long way. If you're too reserved to open up what does the guy have to go on? Absolutely nothing.

Being a shy person myself, I know how difficult it can be to shed the fear and anxiety. It ain't so easy to shed those extra pounds, either. But both can be done. Not through crash dieting or frantic workouts, but a healthy balance between the two. Lose weight and you'll feel more confident in yourself and you won't be quite so shy. Not to mention it's just plain healthy and you'll be doing your overtaxed heart a huge favor.

I'm not saying shirnk down into a rail-thin model-esque physique, mind you. But try to meet the optimal weight for your height.

I'm in the same situation, and I know a few other girls who are, too. It could be that guys don't see you as a potential gf or something. Or it could be the looks. Either way, as long as /you/ like yourself, it shouldn't matter how many guys do. Pm me if you want.

I have been single all my life and not come close to a relationship, which is not ideal for my self esteem when all my friends are/have at least been in relationships :roll: looks will always play some part, in the initial attraction, although love is individual to each person, and can see individual beauty where others may not. Personally, I don't know if i'm a rare type of man saying this, but I find few women attractive, maybe many pretty, but not attractive, but I wouldn't particularly want to consider any kind of relationship with them any more than with anyone else I didn't know. Not to mean I wouldn't be attracted, but in the grand scheme of things, that doesn't count for much. However, it can play an important part, not only in how others see you, but the way you see yourself can affect your relationships with others, and often low self esteem will hinder chances of relationships (in my experience). I still look like a 14-15 year old kid which probably has something to do with me being far from attractive..

I dont think that looks or weight keeps a person single. There is someone for every one. Shyness can be overcome. Many people are shy when they first meet someone. I believe that dating is a numbers game. The more people you meet the higher the odds of hooking up with someone. The more people you date the higher the odds of finding someone special. No one should settle for someone out of desperation.
I think for people who are shy, one way to meet alot of people is to try an online dating service. Many people are doing that these days, there should be no shame in trying it.
Most importantly just focus on meeting new people and create friendships and have fun!

I dont think that looks or weight keeps a person single. There is someone for every one. Shyness can be overcome. Many people are shy when they first meet someone. I believe that dating is a numbers game. The more people you meet the higher the odds of hooking up with someone. The more people you date the higher the odds of finding someone special. No one should settle for someone out of desperation.
I think for people who are shy, one way to meet alot of people is to try an online dating service. Many people are doing that these days, there should be no shame in trying it.
Most importantly just focus on meeting new people and create friendships and have fun!

I'm short (5'2) and weigh about 160ish. I used to think (and sometimes still do) that i'm "fat". But beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have big hips, and a big bust, but not improportionate. The key to feeling better about yourself if you are or even think your fat is to dress better. Wearing clothes that flatter your body shape really makes you look skinnier, and you will feel better about yourself too. I was blessed with a wonderful boyfriend who tells me i'm beautiful constantly and loves everything about me. I've never felt more comfortable being naked around someone in my life!