Ending a Relationship Forum - It Has to End.....please Help!

Relationships > Ending a Relationship Forum > It Has to End.....please Help!

Q: It Has to End.....please Help!

asked by: dgw1 on March 21st, 2005

New User

Im a 37 yr old man and my partner is 30, we met 4 yrs ago on the internet, she lived in wales (uk) and I live in the midlands (uk) 120 miles apart. I have a daughter 13 yrs old from my previous marrage who lives with me, my partner has a son 10. She moved in with me 3 and half years ago. Not long after we'd met she kept pestering me about wanting another child but I made it clear I didn't want any and she told me she was on the pill, just before she moved in with me she fell pregnant. I must admit I think she did it on purpose, however we now have a beautiful little girl of 3 who I adore and love with all my heart, she is so sweet. The main problem is my partner is bone idle, I work full time and pay for everything, she sometimes buys food thats all, she buys nothing for the house. Most of the time she sits on the computer or her sons playstation all day and does very little around the house, the washing piles up the ironing piles up etc and I end up doing most of the house chores myself, she is also constantly shouting and balling at the kids which creates a terrible atmosphere all the time. The last few weeks she has not been getting on with my eldest daughter and hasn't really spoken a civil word to her she just ignores her, and my daughter keeps out of the way spending most of her time in her room which i'm not happy about. Although it will break my heart to not see my 3 yr old daughter all the time I cannot live like this. We have already decided that we are going to split up and she has been put on the housing list since this house has been mine for 10 years and everything is in my sole name . The last few days she refuses to cook a meal for me refuses to wash or iron any of my clothes even though she is living in my house and using the entire contents of it, all of which I have paid for. Don't know how much longer I can take this , the worst part of it all is how she treats the kids, on at them all the time! I'm not even allowed to have a say with my3 yr old, she always has to be the boss with her. I don't want to be without my 3 yr old, I love her so dearly but cannot carry on like this anymore. Basically I need her out of my house, what can I do? Sorry it was so long. Any help woult be appreciated, thank you for listening.

Replies(5)

planka

replied on May 28th, 2005

New User

If you think you can be a better parent than your partner, then you could try to ask to have a custody of your little girl ? You already have a bigger child so she could help you.
Do you know why your ex-partner behaves like that ? Is she depressed ? Does she need help ? Was she traumatised ?
Maybe you can't help her but have you tried ?
Hope that things will get better for all of you.
How does the situation evolve ?

subie90

replied on May 31st, 2005

New User

Sounds like your partner wanted a free ride from the beginning. Do you know anything about her patterns from the past? She was probably lazy and sloppy all along and has always needed someone to support her financially. She may have become pregnant like you said, on purpose just because she knew you would be responsible and take care of things. Alot of women with those traits do that kind of thing. About your daughter, I would get an attorney even if it is through public aid if you cannot afford one , to see about getting joint legal custody of her. Then your partner will have to share your daughter with you and will not have all the control. My own brother went through a similar situation so I know. Prayer can also be very helpful for all of you. You can always throw her out if you aren't married and if she has no means to care for the child she would have to stay with you. Doesn't she have any family or friends she can go to? Call a legal help line, they can advise you on these kind of things also. As far as doing everything at home yourself, I just wouldn't do it. I feel for you, I had an x husband who wouldn't work or help me either. That was the worst time in my life. I just thank god we didn't have any kids. I will pray for you. Good luck.

ashtyn2005

replied on May 31st, 2005

New User

I'd say just flat out tell her to leave. Give her a time limit in which she has to get out. And if she has not enough income to support the children and is harsh towards them, take her to court for custody.

MatrixDweller

replied on July 16th, 2005

New User

I Hate the health forum

My wife is the same way. I'm in a little deeper though.

I think you should talk to a lawyer the change the locks and pack up all of her crap so she can get the health question out of your life.

I wish I could do the same but we bought the house together, we have two kids and one on the way, and she's a mean biotch who'd rake me over the coals. I'm just going to have to be a gimp and like it.

MatrixDweller

replied on July 16th, 2005

New User

I'm An problem And a Coward!!! Please Help Me!!

Hi, this is the hated wife, who didn't know I was hated until I caught my husband writing this. I have been pregnant, and feeling ill for the last four years. I have had five of his children in the last four years, and two died. He lost his job on christmas eve, and unemployed for six months, while I was a stay at home mom. He then was offered two jobs, one paying more than the other. He took the lower paying job, and got fired a year late. I was 8 months pregnant. Our son almost died at a week old, and I went back to work full time when he was 9 weeks old, and now work part time. I am pregnant again, and feel very ill most of the time. I get home from work, and fall asleep on the couch becaue I am so tired and ill with this pregnancy. Nice to know that I have a supportive husband at home. I thought I did until now. He doesn't have to worry about ending it. I just did!!!!! He is out of here. I have more respect for myself than to stay with a man who secretly hates me and wants out. Now he is the one crying, and saying that he didn't mean it, but I don't give a damn. He can leave, or I will take the kids and leave myself.

The secretly hated wife!

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