Hi I just feel like crying whole day ...... I have to study but as I sit to study I start crying .....I dont feel happy with my life .....I feel its a very long life & wish it ends soon ....

Whole day I m alone at home & my husband comes back in evening ....... Whn hes around I dont cry ....... We r in a country were we have no one no friends relatives etc .......Its just I know my husband in this country ....... Its been 1& 1/2 yr we got married

i found tht I m pregnant now but still instead of being happy I m feeling sad & depressed & I just cry whole day ........My husband has not seen me crying

but its not this baby thats making me sad .......Actually wht is making me sad is my husbands nature .....He is a person who cant trust anyone in his life other than his elder sister & her family actually he is too much into his sister ........ He has other sisters but he does not go tht well along with thm ....... He has kept picture of his elder sister & her family in our bedroom & is much more concerned abt tht picture too tht something does not cover tht picture .......Also whn we were in the country were all his my relatives r thr ... We were thr for a month ..He was a different person thr .....He hardly ever talked to me .I did not even knew wht was going on in his life wht all he was doing .........He was just at his home at night to sleep & for lunch rest his time .....He just spent saying he was busy either with phone with his sister & her husband or either going with them everywhr .... For work purpose or shopping or whtever or at their place ........He had bought a new house thr but he did all other shopping with his sister .....& I didnt even have a clue whr he was going nor he did even tell me tht he bought this for tht house or whtever ........ He just had sex with me during night thts all thts whn he needed me whn his sister is around ........... Also he did not even care sit next to his grandmother ....... Keeping himself busy with all work etc ......... But hes a differnt person .........

Here in this country he is a different person..... He has changed than before to some extent he shares with me everything he talks abt everything his work etc his school ........Hes a nice person here ....He cares for me ....... He likes to see me happy ..... But still he cant trust me or anyone else for anything ........ Last month he asked me tht I was not doing something weird tht I was not getting pregnant ........

He is not a normal person .......... Thr is something weird in him ........& I dont feel happy abt something in my life .............I dont know why I feel sad ........... He does not know whn he hurts me by saying or doing something ........ Or if I will tell him anything he thinks wht he does is always right & he thinks himself to great thn everyone else in the world & may b thinks tht is best in everything & wht he does is right .............. But may b I dont feel happy I dont know abt wht ....... But abt my life ...... I dont want to live long .. I wish my life ends soon ......... I feel like crying whole day ........ I feel like a loser .......... I cant talk this to anyone ........ Actually I have no one to talk to .......... I dont know how to make my mind happy & concentrate on studying ........... I dont know will my life change or will something good come to me anyday ........ I just pray to god how will something change in my life ......... I need to be happy now for my kid & I want to be for my kid but I cant .....I m more sad everyday 7 just cry whole day

i dont expect anyone to even read or think abt it ........ But its just I was feeling very sad & wanted to talk to someone who can understand wht I m going thro ......... So I just wrote something to feel tht I talked to someone ......... If I would had been lucky tht I would have been able to talk this issues........Whn thy happened to my husband thn it would made difference .......... But now its like like useless talking anything to him .......Coz at the end he will prove tht he is right... He did was correct .. .. & end proving tht he is great ........I m not a good talker & I cant argue ........ But my husband will never understand tht he has many times hurt me by saying something ........ May b I m too sensitive .........& its all tht it comes back in my mind ........Which makes me more sad ........

May be I will have to live till god takes away this life ......... But just wish I dont have a long life

thanks .........May be I felt tht I talked to someone