Hotsafrick just so you know, I was not being judegemntal about a situation.
I raised a sitution for consideration.
I said that she could be the cause, which means she might not. And yes marriage is not just about sex but its important in a marriage of two loving people.
If you do not like something, it doesnt mean that you should do it for the sake of it or satisfying your spouse. It means that you should be able to have a discussions about your dislike of oral sex and get your partner to understand why you feel uncomfortable. Is it your religious belief, background, culture, hygiene or status in marriage.
How do you feel when you orally satisfy your partner. Do you feel dirty or do you feel degraded.
Next you should be able to discuss other loving ways that you can comfortably satisfy your partner.
Ignoring something a man likes or woman likes in a marriage just because you do not like it, often leads to extra-marital pursuits. If you cant offer interest, some many and many of them, will try to find it elsewhere even if they respect you and the marriage, as long as you never find out. For some its an urge that has to be satisfied somehow.
The fact that your spouse is telling you, doesnt mean that he only respects you, it means he could be silently wishing and communicating that he wishes the woman he loves is the one that could satisfy his urge, give him a handjob etc.
If you do not feel keen, by talking to him, you find more simpler ways to do it, that satifies both of you and may lessen the trps he makes to these massage parlours.
Do you realise that some men withold climaxing faster, just because they would like to climax together with their wives who often take longer to get aroused. Men are more atuned to "having sex" and not "making love" but when they are with a woman they love, they will compromise, find middle ground and wait to satisfy you first or get you ready to climax with them.
Thats middle ground!