My ladyfriend (j)and I have been living together for five years. She helped me thru a major cancer scare in 1999 and after I recovered we just stayed together and shared a house.

I run my business from home and whenever a customer comes to the house, j hovers in the background until she senses an opportunity to push into the conversation that I am having with my customer. She then tries to dominate and take over. I have asked her three times not to talk to my customers. She backs off for about a week and then ramps it up again. It is really getting to me. She also forces her way into every conversation which I have with others on the social scene. If I have a dance with another lady, j then will try real hard to befriend that lady in order to be "friends" with her . What is going on here?

I feel like I have no freedom to talk to whomever I wish, however j is one on the worst flirts that I have ever met. She also seems to create turmoil whereever she goes. She irritates lots of people and has alienated my mother and my brother by talking out of turn.

Is this behavior a dealbreaker, or is it quite common ? Is it abusive or disrespectful. What do you all think?