Sexual Health - Women Forum - An Dying of Anxiety

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Q: An Dying of Anxiety

asked by: dear7 on March 15th, 2005

New User

On two recent occassions, I kissed a lover ive been dating, but with no sexual intercourse nor "finger pleasuring"

he has got aids in quite advanced stages and we have fairly discussed his situation.

There has not been anyother contact between me and him other than hugging and recently kissing on the two occassions I was a full percentage sure I had no sores in the mouth, no noticeable bleeding gums, and I did not kiss him deeply, neither did I swallow his saliva.

However I am constantly nervous that I may have contracted hiv. Could it be because am reading alot of stuff on hiv infection that am constantly getting worried or is my intuition warning?

Two days ago I developed a cold and painful sore in the upper roof of my mouth but I believe its more about my high stress levels currently. I do not have other symptoms yet.

Could my intuition be warning that I have contracted it. The fear kills me psychologically.

We like eachother alot and have discussed how far we can go with the relationship. We have known eachother about three years but only started dating six months ago.

We talk regularly on phone. We feel comfortable with eachother when we are together, it almost makes me think am safe so far.

What do I do with my anxiety.

Replies(4)

Justin_Toronto

replied on March 15th, 2005

Experienced User

This is an extremely interesting and powerful post. Something that you really don't hear about every day. When you say he has aids in advanced stages, do you mean his immune system has already weakened considerably?

If you do not have any cuts or sores in your mouth or throat, then kissing is quite safe to do. Keep in mind that you can have cuts or sores on your gums as well... You'll usually notice them if you brush your teeth and your gums bleed a bit.

This is the difficulty about caring for someone with a contageous disease... You have emotions but there is this barrier that holds you back.

As for your anxiety, there is nothing you should do about it. You should remain very cautious and aware that this is a potentially deadly disease that you can accidentally attain. If you lose your anxiety and become too comfortable it will also be easy to lose caution within the heat of the moment and do something accidentally to contract hiv.

There is nothing wrong with expressing emotion with a hiv infected individual. These are people too and do require friends, love, attention, and affection like anyone else. Just be careful, use the proper precautions.

Be safe,
justin

Justin_Toronto

replied on March 15th, 2005

Experienced User

2ferano

replied on March 15th, 2005

Extremely eHealthy

New studies are showing it is quite easier to get aids through kissing then thought before. If you brush your teeth at all, grind your teeth or anything of the sort then you can have microscopic cuts in your mouth through which you can contract hiv.
You are just going to have to weight the pros and cons and be careful.

dear7

replied on March 16th, 2005

New User

He has been living with aids fr about 15 years but he is on strict anti retroviral treatment. There was a point he got very sick about three years ago, but then he was still in self denial about the virus. He now openly discusses it with me and has a personal doctor tending to his health.

I have strong feelings for him, he is in love with me but constantly fears something might go wrong and I get infected. I know he would never live with it.

I knew about it all the while I knew him as just a friend but he had no idea I ws aware. Then he began to feel intimately for me. When he decided to tell me, he was an aids sufferer, he basically did it to drive me away because he knew I would run faster and break off the relationship.

We are too insync with eachother, I understand his moodswings and why it happens to him.

What I feel for him is not out of sympathy. I feel for him and also feel that there is not much reason for me to break it off for now.

All I have to work on is the guilt I feel that I may have contracted. I am even afriad to take a trial test after three months just incase it turns out what am thinking.

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