Itaz,

let me get the facts straight.

1. A boyfriend/former boyfriend (who you say is a nice guy) got you pregnant.
2. You are now six months pregnant, living with a guy who got a girl 5 months pregnant.
3. You have a crush on this guy but you have mixed signals whether he wants a relationship with you. His ex-girlfriend who is going to have his baby does not want you to get attached to him because if he gets attached to your baby and you leave he will be heart broken. (is she still in love with him and may want him back?) he is sending the father of your baby text messages that you want nothing to do with your former boyfriend (is he jealous of your ex, because your ex is going to father your baby?).

What a love rectangle!

First of all, you need to get over your crush and live in the real world. You are going to have a baby! He is going to have a baby! And your baby is not his baby!

Before both of you can even consider having a relationship, you both must determine if you past relationships are finished. It doesn't sound like they are or there is no closure. You need to not look out what is best for you both but for your babies.

First, love is never confining but wants what is best for the other person. You may need to have a heart to heart with him on what is going on in both your lives. You both need to communicate and honest with one another and sort out your feelings. Find out if he loves his ex, find out what he thinks about his baby. I give him cudos for watching after you, but is this guilt because the mother of his baby is not allowing him to do this for her. Before you both open the door of a relationship with one another, you must close the door with the ex's. This could be difficult because either you might make it work and the other it might not make it work which could leave one of you alone?

I would not go beyond friendship before you both close the door on your prior relationships. Especially since these ex's will be in your life constantly because of the babies you all are having. You want the spark of your former relationships extinguished so the flame doesn't arise when you are in a committed relationship.

Also, wait until the babies are born before doing this. May be the birth of these babies will change the way you and he feel about the babies birth parent.

All I am really saying is you need to look at the situation, and determine what is best for you and your baby. You are in a tricky situation and would take it slow so the direction you move toward will be permanent and happy.

Best wishes and congratulations! I do wish you well!

Tomz

Sorry I didnt make myself clear before... The father of my baby is not a nice guy, far from it. He doesnt want anything to do with my baby. My lodger and his girlfriend split up a while ago now, his little boy is one, he said that because it hurt him when they split up and she was pregnant at the time, it is stopping him from starting a relationship with me... Thanx for the reply but I think I am just going to try and foget him about him and concentrate on the other changes that are happening at the minute, these feelings I have for him are just complicating things for me at the moment.

Itaz:

sorry I didn't have the facts straight.

First, if you baby's dad treats you badly and can't change, you don't need that. There seems to be closure there. The only issue is if your baby may want to meet their real dad/the dad may want part in your babies life in the future?

Is your lodger over his ex? May be. But, he may not be over his son.

The issue of your lodger getting attached to your baby should not be an issue. With the support he is giving you, he has earned honorary uncle status for life.

Your lodger might realize how emotionally vulnerable you are in your state. Take the time for you to learn what is within deep each of you. Laugh and enjoy one anothers company. This may help build your friendship farther without the complications of sex.

Take it slow and develop your friendship deeper!

Take care,

tom z

Itaz:

sorry I didn't have the facts straight.

First, if you baby's dad treats you badly and can't change, you don't need that. There seems to be closure there. The only issue is if your baby may want to meet their real dad/the dad may want part in your babies life in the future?

Is your lodger over his ex? May be. But, he may not be over his son.

The issue of your lodger getting attached to your baby should not be an issue. With the support he is giving you, he has earned honorary uncle status for life.

Your lodger might realize how emotionally vulnerable you are in your state. Take the time for you to learn what is within deep each of you. Laugh and enjoy one anothers company. This may help build your friendship farther without the complications of sex.

Take it slow and develop your friendship deeper!

Take care,

tom z

Look, you've got to talk to the man you're head over heels for. Especially if the two of you have never brought up the issue. Do not trust what you hear from a friend! Even a good friend with good intentions. It might have been the guy's way of telling you how he felt because he knew the friend would tell you. Don't let him get by with that. Ask him. Make it clear you aren't demanding anything, you just want to know where things stand.

And as embarrassing as it is, you need to tell him about your feelings. It's not healthy to sleep in the same bed if this issue is going on. Hard as it might (o.K., will) be, if he doesn't feel the same, you need to change your living arrangment. Explain to him that you can't get over your feelings and it's hurting you to be so near him wihtout being able to be with him.

Don't cut him out of your life. I'm sure he doesn't deserve that. But you're going to be a mother. You'll have enough emotional stress as it is.