This is my first time posting here – bear
with me. I have been diagnosed with
aadd. Many things I read say that a lot
of times aadd can be in conjunction with
bi-polar disorder. As of yet I have not
been diagnosed bi-polar. I do suffer from
depression and have anger issues. I also
suffer from low self-esteem. I am
currently seeing a therapist to help me
deal with my issues. I have also read
that people who are bi-polar see things in
black and white – they do not like the
gray areas. I find this very interesting
because I have said this about myself
before.
I am not good at relationships. I am
very non-trusting and suspicious. I cycle
very fast between my highs and lows. I
get angry at my boyfriend and will cycle
up and down a number of times before I can
put the argument to rest. I feel like my
boyfriend is always out there looking for
something better – we have been together
for 2 years yet he will not talk about us
having any kind of a real future together.
I think he will kick me to the curb as
soon as he finds something better. Or he
has had something better and wishes he had
that back instead of me. I constantly
feel like I am competing with his
computer, his old girlfriends, his idea of
the perfect woman that he wants etc… like
I am not “worthy” or good enough for him.
A lot of the time I feel that I would be
better off by myself dealing with my
problems alone.
I am also very sensitive and take things
very personal whether they are meant that
way or not. So when I get hurt I will
leave but always come back – when I come
back I am even more angry especially at
myself. I try to control my anger and
will do good for a week or two then I will
blow up about something, and it starts all
over again. Do any one of you feel that
way???? Do you think I am bi-polar – I
really think that I am. I just want to be
happy.
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7aliens
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2005 Posts: 8 Location: houston
Posted: 03-14-05 13:15pm
I don't have an answer for you but just
wanted to let you know that I read your
post and was thinking of you and wanted to
let you know that I care. Maybe your
therapist can give you some input? Or the
doctor who diagnosed you with add? Hang
in there, you are gonna be okay!
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FaithNGod247365
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2005 Posts: 26 Location: VA
Posted: 05-11-05 14:53pm
I just read your post. Sounded like me
not that long ago...Yet a long time ago.
Let me explain... I have been overcoming
my bi-polar, but it seems like just
yesterday that I felt like you did.
First off, I care too. You are cared
about. The next thing is this... I am
not a dr so I can't say yes, you are
bi-polar. But I can say this. I too have
heard that add and bi-polar run along the
same lines. How do I know...Because I too
am in your shoes. I was diagnosed with bp
and then I was told...We think it is
actually adhd, (add now that I am over
18). I take wellbutrin and topamax.
Topamax slows my thought process down. I
feel stupid in someways because I lose my
train of thought and memory. It is not
anything to play around with. Well butrin
is all right. Dont stop it abrubtly!!! I
take adderall for add and let me tell you
about that stuff, it works. But, it will
mess your body up so quick. I am sick
right now. I have been in the hospital
three times in the last 4 months because
of that medicine. I have an imbalance of
electrolytes. Terry shivo, who died
recently...She had that too. Thats how
she got in the coma. She got an eating
disorder. Electrolyte imbalances come
from many different things.
But, the next thing is this. You were
talking about the black and white thing.
That is very true. Bp people don't find
gray. I remember hearing you say that and
then talk about your boyfriend leaving you
or not leaving you. You were like yes he
will, no he won't. Not, I think we can
work this out. The black, the white. Not
the gray.
Let me say this too. Therapy is good for
bp people. Our moods are high and low.
We often have trouble with relationships
and people find it hard to be with us.
Therapy is great.
I personally, used to be in 12 meds. Now,
3.
I also, got saved. I don't know how you
are, how you feel about that...But for me,
having a relationship with god has been my
therapy. I know can control my moods, I
can concentrate, and I am working on
getting off this last little bit of
medicine.
Bipolar And Stuff Like That Posted: 05-11-05 22:57pm
I was about to get diagnosed with bipolar
but I stopped going to the shrink and
therapist. I went to get better, but
they gave me wellbutrin which made things
worse for me. I wasn't really bad, just
wondering if medicine had advanced to
where things could get faster that on my
own. Wellbutrin is crazy because if you
miss a day or two and start taking it
again it can send into bad hypomanic
states. They you have to stick to it for
six weeks for your body to adjust, but I
decided after four weeks if I was doing
worse than when I started I might as well
not take it. But yeah, none of those
drugs you can do cold turkey on. They
give you real withdrawal symptoms.
Your boyfriend sounds like a loser to me.
But it's easy for me to think that
because of my cultural background or just
from the way you described him. Before I
got married I realized that engagement
isn't about surprising someone with a
proposal but just communicating and
talking things out. I think you should
talk about whatever concerns you. Though
I know in the back of my mind, there's
always that doubting that maybe i'm just
paranoid and that's why I might think
something is fishy.
I think it's a challenge to separate what
your body is feeling and what you may
interpret as the reason for feeling a
certain way. I think of bipolar or
whatever I have as just part of my
personality. Though it's important for
me to be aware of how this may affect my
judgement. One theory for emotions in
psychology is the two factor theory.
It's where your body is aroused in some
way. Like say going down a rollercoaster
ride. Then the second factor is how you
interpret that arousal. Some people will
scream homicide on a rollercoaster and
others will laugh the whole way. I tend
to believe with disorders like bipolar,
diabetes, or neuropathy or whatever that
it's important knowing when you feel a
certain way not because of something you
did or something around you, but you feel
like a butthead or real anxious just
because your body is giving you that freak
out feeling for whatever reason.
