I lost my husband and soul mate dec 29 , 2002 it has been little over a year and feel like I have been robbed. It took 50 years to fins him and 5 minutes to loose him from a massive heart attack. I am 1000 miles from family and on my ouwn. I am going on but it is so hard. I have tried hospic support groups that have helped some to cope but it will take time and love of myself. I know my husband wouldn't want to see me hurt he loved me so. If anyone wpuld like to chat or needs a lady to talk to I am here for you. I have been there and know the hurt you feel .


Michelle in sc

I lost my beautiful 25yr old wife three weeks ago to viral myocarditis. It was completely unexpected. Her heart went critical in what seemed like a matter of hours and they couldn't stablize her. New years eve would have been our 5th year anniversary.

I am fortunate in the fact I have our beautiful 4yr old daughter that is the spitting image of my wife. I also have lots of friends and family to guide me through this, however I actually prefer being alone at the moment.

The pain like you both know is incredible. I am a slim 25yr old man and depression has stolen my appetitie and I have nausea at some level 24/7. I am fighting to eat and stay healthy to take care of my daughter.

Mornings are usual the worst, I have the physical problems similiar to a hangover. Motivation is hard to come by, expecially when daughter goes to bed for a nap or sleep. Emotion is a roller coaster... Mainly down. I can usually maintain a wall up during the day and release all the emotion alone at night.

I can fortunately say I have no regrets. We lived for each other everyday, our house was always a mess because we where always having fun together, we still had a great passion for each other, and I could honestly say my love for her got strogner everyday. I do have one regret that I couldn't protect like a husband should....

I hurt right now when I think of her, not the bad memories of her last day, but the good ones even hurt. I don't want to forget her, but at the same time I don't want to hurt. I always say a prayer to her and god every night, I always show pictures of her to my little girl, I won't let her forget about her mother.

Does it get better to when you think of your spouse you won't hurt? There are times where I tune out the world, concentrate on something unimportant... Unrelated to her (play the guitar for example).... I'm not happy, but I don't hurt.... After i'm done I just hurt like always... Sometimes worse than before. I question if there really is an escape to the pain. Please don't think I am suicidal... I have a little girl to take care of and wouldn't dare leave her. I'm sure both of you like me welcomed the thought of being with them sooner than later in heaven. At 25 it looks like I have an incredibly long wait.

Michelle&ms. Lopez I pray god brings peace to your hearts and comfort to your souls, this is a pain no one should have to endure.

Wow, I just joined this site. I guess the loss of a spouse is really a universal feeling for everyone. I lost my husband april 2002 and still feel it everyday. He was 35 and it was an unexpected event and the most trauma i've experienced to date. I do have a 7 year old son and must function for him, but I understand the thoughts of not wanting to be here even though I don't want to leave here mainly because of my son. It seems as though the world is going by and changing and you are stuck in the same spot. Hard to explain. I don't know how you feel better except time. I don't know if i'll ever love someone that way again, that's a sad reality. But I thank god I had the opportunity to have this wonderful man in my life and know some people never experience that sort of relationship and of course I have the best gift of all, my son. The only thing I can say for sure is that there is always someone who has had a worse hand dealt them in this life and you must always be glad for what you do have and appreciate and love everyone important to you every day because you never know what tomorrow will bring. Good luck to all of you and try to do something for yourselves each day to bring a smile to your faces. You all deserve it and your loved ones would want you to do that!!

Hi.. I'm 17 and I never saw this forum before now.. I now how all of you feel. I didn't lose a spouse I lost my father when I was 16. He had cancer and it was oct. 24th at 3:15 a.M. When my sister joni came in my bedroom to tell me had passed away. We knew before that we didnt have long to say our goodbye's. Well I told him goodbye and that I loved him on the 23rd. I said "daddy I am sorry for being selfish and if you are only staying here for me then you need to go.." stop hurting is what I was thinking. It was so hard at the visitation. Because my father wanted to be cremated and it hurt knowing that I was never going to see him again. He was not my real dad but he was the only father figure that I had. He treated me like his real daughter. He called me his daughter. He told me he loved me everyday. I miss him more and more and it don't get better ever. It does get easier day by day.

And teh more time that goes by the more I have to face the reality that she'll be gone. My wife is in end stage cystic fibrosis, we're hoping she'll see christmas 2006. The ehought of her being gone is right now so painful I want to vomit. I know it's coming and i'm having a hard time dealing with this imminent doom. We haven't given up by any means and we'll fight o the end to stay together as long as we can. I'm sory for all your pain and suffering, in a way i'm lucky because I can prepare for it and sturdy myself against the onslaught of emotion and heartbreak, but at the same time it's like torture waiting....Waiting.... If you all had extra time to spend with your respected others knowing there was nothing you could do to stop tihs, what would you have done to prepare for this "event"? I'm trying to find a way to cope that's not going to be detremental to me.

I hope you all can find some comfort in eachother through your times.

Kevin
29yrs old married for 10yrs, scared to death. :cry:

Dear kevin,it is so sad but you can prepare even though I say that its still very hard when the time comes,i have lost so many family members and in so many ways,it comes as a shock no matter how you lose your loved ones,i do feel for you remember the good times,make an album of all your favorite photos, this has made me sad tonight reading these problems,mine seem really small god be with you all.God bless x

I lost my 34 year old husband in a auto accident in 11-05. He was, and he still is the high light of our lives. I miss him so much. The sad thing is all other people think about is when you are going to go on with your life. I am not suicidal, but I would love for the world to end now. My whole family thinks that I am crazy. Atleast, I would be with the good lord and my husband. The sad thing is that my cousin was in the wreck with my husband. He was paralyzed for about a month, but he can now walk. He doesn't thank god or mourn my husband. Well, thanks for anyone who listens. I just want people to talk to in the same situation.

Hi, I just joined the site, I lost my husband last dec. 15, 2005. It's been a very hard year. He was so healthy, he was only sick two days, he went to the doctor in the afternoon and I got up around 2:00am to give him meds and he was gone, I was in shock, still am. He died of pneamonia. Pep, thats what I called him was only 48. I am 43. He was my second husband and the father my four daughters never had, without him in our lives I know my children would not be the great people they are now. He got to walk my two older girls down the isle, but I don't know who will walk my two younger girls down the isle. I can understand about not wanting to eat, I fought that one for a long time, I still have days that I am just sick and I know that hangover feeling your talking about too! I miss him more and more everyday, I can't keep on going sometimes I feel like I am just stuck and can't think or move. I have a grandson with heart defects and a granddaughter with kidney diaseses, a daughter graduating high school and preparing for collage, and a fifteen year old ready to start dating. A mortage to pay, that land that has been in my family over 200 years is collateral, and I have been a housewife for 23 years so I got a job making 8.50 an hour, after survivor benifits run out in about a year, I don't know what i'm going to do. Oh yes and I have no health ins, with survivor benifits we do not qualify for any type of assistance, so I have had no meds thought out all of this and no help when I get sick. I just want my husband back, none of this would matter if I could just have him, I was always safe, we laughed everyday. Well, I guess I just needed to vent, my faith has been the very biggest healer in all of this and hopeful will continue to sustain me.

What happens to us is not as powerful as what can happen to others because of Us. Should l have chosen to go thru with taking my own life, because the years of pain was too great, l would have missed the chance to bring life into so many people these last few years.
There is a point we all get to. Do we become 'wounded healers' , people who can now comfort those who are in similar situations. I chose to be a vessel that l too may bear anothers burden and share my own story.
There have been, for me, as there is and will be for you,many opportunities to heal someone, but ww must be more concerned with the others pain than our own. At least l know for myself that to have compassion comes from actually having been there yourself in that persons 'shoes' we are rewarded with the inner peace and joy we receive to our own hearts when we first seek to become wounded healers of others that are going thru it now. This forum is the true testament that proves what l am writing,
Thank You All,