Thank you for your input. Helped me understand what my son is going through and possibly a light at the end of the tunnel. Smart, creative and almost non-productive. Off of adderall for 6 months and struggling. Doctor says it takes time...but after so many bad doctors, misdiagnosis, etc. who do you believe? I now have someone to believe who is where my son is and looks like beyond. Thank yuo for posting. Would love to know your progress and how you turned the corner.


Don't worry, because it all comes back. No, you won't be high, but it all comes back. When I realized what was happening, I had been prescribed anti-depressants on top of the high dose of adderall... I smoked tons of weed for a while. I recommend that if life isn't cutting it, but know that you CAN wait until nighttime. Eventually, weed gets in the way, too, and then you stop smoking that. Edibles could be the way for you. Hash is cheaper for those. It's a better way to look at the world. Whatever you do, don't do THC and amphetamines at the same time; it's a waste of human potential.

So many people have been addicted to speed... If you stop, you get your life back. I hear it takes 2 years with adderall, before you can forget it. I am still waiting, patiently. Use those two years to discover yourself. For weight gain, look up trophology. Take digestive enzymes with every meal.

Adderall is ridiculously addicting, and the knowledge of that is now part of who you are. It even made me more selfish. You can look at that any way you want. You might not forget how it felt, but the fact that you don't want it means you might be ready to stop. I like myself better off it, but get ready for some bullsh**t depression. I blame the doctors and teachers for their misinformation and laziness. Also, remember not to go back to the same people for benzodiazapines (like xanax or klonopin), or you'll have the same discovery.

But, know that the brain is capable of amazing things. Your feelings aren't really the result of any brain damage, per se... When people do have brain damage, however, the way their brain recovers is not by repairing, but re-wiring. Every day you avoid adderall (and maybe eventually weed) is your VICTORY. Your neurons are forming new connections, and that's how your motivation eventually returns. You don't have brain damage, you have a brain. Feel better yet? That's real. The mood swings are hard, but the way you deal with them is something to take pride in. In time, or no time, you could feel more creative than ever, but, more importantly, you can once again feel like your own person.[/quote]

During these times of struggle, I think it is rather important that society comes together. However, some of you have to realize a brutal truth: You knew the side-effects for this medication, your story isn't going to end with an epiphany or moral, most have heard of your (self-induced) troubles a thousand times before, and if you're going to be an addict, at least have some guts and try crack. Honestly, to state that a medication is ruining your life? Hmmm, I wonder what can be done about that? I'm located in the midwest, and I'm sick and tired of the pill poppers. Are we really that bored? It seems everyone's afraid or too irritable when they're happy. How to fix that problem? Get prescribed a drug that your friend let you try last week, get addicted, struggle with the recovery for "years", and then go to meetings so that you can have at least 24 months of struggles. Stop tempting temptation. I'm not heartless, I'm honestly just tired.

The only happiness is the happiness we make for ourselves. If you're an addict, get up now, and throw the addiction away. No one has empathy for you. If you don't throw it away right now, then you don't want to quit. If you're a person who's a lot happier when feeling the speed, more power to you... At least you're happy.

It gets exponentially better with work on it. Pot is becoming less and less of a necessity. I feel I could give it up anytime now, but I want to know EVERYTHING. For that, I really think smoking it is unnecessary. Edibles make everything simpler. No, I'm not just high; yes I'm just high; i could do without this.

Also, when you have to eat, eat only good food, and only enough to run your body. Take vitamins and lots of fish oil. Others know more than me.

The only thing that helps in the end is the existence of God, feminine and masculine, every opposite in one. It makes it easier to know (remember, preform, accomplish, although nothing is important) one thing: God is everything, belief can't be feigned. Adderall pulls people farther away from enlightenment, which can be granted at anytime. It takes space, but it works. It helps when people are nice to each other. It's not okay to want sex, food, or money. It can be hard to do what's right, but it gets easier to. One doesn't see that in the moment, but notices improvements along the way, as things feel just as difficult as before. Amen for learning. Everything is already set up. We need nothing, so try to do only what actually helps.

The less structure, the better. Nothing matters. Past, and future are illusions of time, so they can't be considered. People remember everything.

Nothing is unconcious.

All the hardest things to believe are true.

It can all be accomplished with incessant meditation, which takes acceptance of ideas I never knew before. Things are moving out of control.

It also gets more and more embarrassing, so I won't be embarrassed about anything.

I no longer believe it takes time. As time moves without me, I am happier.

Want to pm me, anyone?

Hi. After reading all of these, i feel like i just joined a support group. I have not gotten off adderal, still weighing the decision to try. I just graduated, and lord does that make it harder. I realize the need to quit, but i am applying to grad school and i am scared that i cant do it without adderall.
I dont abuse it, except sometimes during finals but i never take two of my 20mg at the same time. Still, i have become a completley different person than the laid back person i used to be. I feel like all my accomplishments are a lie, i would never have even tried to do this well w. out pills. Does that make everything ive done mean nothing? Its hard to make/keep friends because adderall makes it hard to 'turn it off' and just be laid back and talk to people like thier people and not anthropologists.
The hardest part is accepting the fact that im going to gain all the weight i lost back. Im not skinny, by any means, but a whole lot more than i used to be, which is again, an accomplishment based on a pill. Being 23 and single, i am not looking foward to this. I excercise everyday, but i cant stop eating when im off it. I noticed after a year of taking it that i would probably develop heart problems, and in the past year or so, i have seriously had chest pains (which of course i never mentioned to my doc, to keep getting add).
So there is my story, i feel better telling it. But what i really wanted to say is that the fact that so many people have posted on this for the past 4 years!! tells me that this is a horrible drug and should not be given to people. It makes me sick when i hear of a friends child who has been given this drug. I can only imagine going through this wehn I was really young. I was prescribed this while working at a dr office, by my boss! I soon realized how many people in the medical industry are on this drug themselves. Yes, it has creeped up to the very people who are giving it to us. This drug is truly evil, I say this because i really believe it kills our souls and our very understanding of who we are. If doctors took the time to read stuff like this, I think it would do some good. But i guess the real people to blame are those addicted and even those who have gotten over it. I am not preaching something that I have done or anything, so i dont mean to be on a soap box, but we would do a lot of good if we told our doctors, or at least a doctor, the side effects (mentally and physically) of the drug while were on it-even while not abused- and if we confronted them asking for help/ advice on how to get off it. Our voices and experiences need to be heard in the medical world. Tweekers unite!! haha, but seriously think about it. This is a serious problem, not just within ourselves but throughout the nation. If your not ready to tell your doc, just tell someone. I finaly told a friend who just got clean from meth that i was scared to get off adderall (i felt really stupid telling an x meth head this). but it felt sooo good to finally say it outload.
So theres my book.One more thing: Adderall is perhaps the most serious addiction because it is accepted and even seen as a good thing. Heroin addicts and crack heads dont graduate cumma sum ladde and strive for PhDs. This is what makes it a dangerous drug: it serves as a loop whole for perhaps our country's biggest addiction- success.

I am sad to see that there are so many of us but have found some piece in knowing that Im not alone.

what I do want to do is tell you all that if you are thinking about trying to beat this thing and view it as the biggest obstacle in your life then the time has come!

otherwise the day may come where another serious matter in your life arises at which point you will have to ask yourself if you could handle both... some times there's no choice.

last September my girlfriend of four years walked out of my life without looking back due to my mood swings and excessive weight loss. she knew the cause and chose rather than to help and or be supportive to simply walk away living me in the deepest depression imaginable... or at least i thought.... two months later my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer which left me not only with the responsibility of being strong for him but also for my other family members (sister,mom).

over the next nine months I would not only be forced to watch my hero dwindle down to nothing but also try and deal with the addiction in the process,... people say they have been to hell and back but until you have that feeling of addiction coupled with the overwhelming feeling of helplessness... lets just say I know what its like to be nowhere.

on January 10th 2009 my father passed away and since then I have cut back.... but TODAY say no more.. I promised my father i would take care of my family and i have been unable to do so in this condition. people need me to be me and thats final.... dont let this happen to you... please if this addiction stands in your way now and is the biggest obstacle then beat it before more come and become to much to handle.

I am sad to see that there are so many of us but have found some peace in knowing that Im not alone.

I would like to take this time to ask you all, if you are thinking about trying to beat this thing, and view it as the biggest obstacle in your life then the time has come!

otherwise the day may come where another serious matter arises, at which point you will have to ask yourself if you could handle both... some times there's no choice.

last September my girlfriend of four years walked out of my life without looking back due to my mood swings and excessive weight loss. she knew the cause and chose rather than to help; and or be supportive, to simply walk away leaving me in the deepest depression imaginable... or at least i thought.... two months later my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer which left me not only with the responsibility of being strong for him but also for my other family members (sister,mom) I am the youngest but the last remaining male in my family (age 30 by the way).

over the next nine months I would not only be forced to watch my hero dwindle down to nothing but also try and deal with the addiction in the process,... people say they have been to hell and back but until you have that feeling of addiction coupled with the overwhelming feeling of helplessness... lets just say I know what its like to be no where.

on January 10th 2009 my father passed away and since then I have cut back significantly, well at times then others its "I SHOULD BUY A BOAT".... but TODAY is the day for change.... I promised my father i would take care of my family and i have been unable to do so in this condition. people need me to be me and thats final.... dont let this happen to you... please if this addiction stands in your way now and is the biggest obstacle then beat it before more comes and soon becomes to much to handle.

I was prescribed Wellbutran and know for a fact it helps tremendously. the only thing in the past that has stopped it from curing me was the mental aspect that is necessary during any rehabilitation. you have to want to get better and for a while I did not want to face reality.... it has now come to the point that whatever reality holds in store for me could not come close to the road Ive traveled to get to this point, so bring it on.

JUST TODAY. NOT THIS WEEKEND AND WONDERING IF SOMETHING WILL COME UP THAT I WILL "MISS" WITHOUT ADDERALL, NOT NEXT WEEK OR THINKING ABOUT THIS SUMMER, JUST GET THROUGH TODAY.....
talk to you guys soon.

I just wanted to keep you all up to date and let you know that I took a major step yesterday when I sat my mother down and explained exactly what was going on. upon the conclusion of our conversation I did what I should have done on day one and handed the bottle over.

I am not sure how to break down the intervals in order to progressively lower my dosage (ie. a week of two a day then a week of one then a week of half etc.)

what I do know is that i handed that bottle over and it felt good to take that first step,....

You have No idea what reading your story has done to me!! I have been an Aderall addict since I was 18 and seriously thought I was the only one!! I am 23 now and learning to conquer this horrid addiction!! Your story gives me hope!!! God Bless You!!!!

Jac08020 I felt the same way when i fist read these storys and I hope that it really does help you like it has helped me.

I am currently down from 180mg a day on avg. to 45-60 and have been doing that since jan 2nd.... I know thats only a week but when you consider the fact that this has been going on for almost three years, I consider it a step in the right direction. progress? well today I got home and laid on the couch practically all day.... call it depression perhaps, or blame it on the 135mg decrease, or both, but regardless it felt good to do nothing and feel relaxed in that way. honestly, beginning to feel a little better.

I do have a question though if anyone reads this who has gone through this before... I know that everyone is diff but how long do you think before I start to gain weight? i am eating three meals a day now and am hoping to see some weight gain soon.

best of luck you guys

Hello to all that reads this.
My story of addiction may not sound like a big deal to some, but it is one of the hardest things that I have ever experienced and it hurts immensely. I'll explain my story from the beginning. I experimented with many drugs in high school such as adderall, pain killers, muscle relaxers, benzo's, ecstasy, acid, and shrooms, but I never felt addicted to a substance until I was 21 and started working at a pharmacy as a technician. I had good intentions for my career, but eventually began stealing multiple hydrocodone's daily and quickly got hooked. At the same time I was attending school to be a Pharm. D. and realized the adderall that I bought off the street was not enough, so I convinced my doctor that I had A.D.H.D. and he prescribed me to it right then. After 6 months of the daily ritual of waking up, taking 20-60 mg of adderall, another 20 mg around 3pm, then 30-100 mg of hydrocodone at night, I got caught stealing drugs at work. Not only did I ruin my career, but I was cut off from the mass amount of hydrocodone that my body was use to getting daily. That was last year and I have been struggling with these 2 drugs since then. Severe depression has set in which makes it more difficult to get myself out of this. I have felt very close to death many times, but it doesn't stop me from this self destruction. My self esteem has demolished into nothing and I feel like I just keep setting myself up to fall down like a row of domino's. I'm getting married in 3 months and I have admitted to myself that it is time to grow up and get over this evil addiction. After much thought I have decided that when I run out of my prescription (day after tomorrow) I am ready to commit to being done with these drugs. If anyone has any advice or feel they can relate and want to discuss this with me, please don't hesitate to reply. I need support so badly.

Hello, sadlittlegirl.

The advice I have to offer may be unhelpful.

I try to say thank you, sorry, after everything I do, because, being addicted and depressed, that's really hard. (Breathe in, thank you, breathe out, sorry).

I try to remember that nothing transient will ever make me happy: eating (but eat correctly), drinking (but drink water), sleeping (so sleep a lot at first, but keep a tight schedule [naps for me make days hard]), or having sex. Filling voids with vices makes the process of oneness take longer.

Meditation is the key.

In light of support, we feel loneliness, which is a perfect feeling to concentrate on.

Go back and forth. How does the head feel? how does the heart feel? The head doesn't feel. The heart doesn't feel. It feels nothing. It feels nothing.

Hope for the worst.

If you get any emotion, experience it by ignoring everything, including emotion. Let it travel, escape you, never looking back, so look back, but don't look back. Feeling emotion is better than experiencing the pain (like headaches, which are perfect to concentrate on), but the pain is a good thing to look for.

The fact of living makes recovery possible. If you need motivation/support, go to NA meetings and join the struggle. It doesn't take long before you're motivated to stay off drugs, but don't listen to much advice.

Forgive yourself immediately for violent thoughts (self or others). Do something actively stupid after having them (like anything). Be as creative as possible.

Every opposite is true.

Self esteem issues are care of what others think.

Feeling close to death is clinging to life, when death is better because nothing is all we truly seek. However, one shot at life.

Taking drugs is the same as craving them without taking them.

Adderall sucks. Notice the lack of motivation without. It wants us to take lots and lots.

Everything one thinks, it thinks the opposite: I don't exist, I don't exist, nothing exists, nothing exists, it doesn't exist.

It exists.

It doesn't exist. It doesn't exist.

You are the One. Revel in confusion. Confusion = curiosity.

Good freakin' luck, but you don't need it.

Wow thats crazy

I have been struggling with ADD, severe depression and anxiety for years and nothing worked until I discovered what I thought was a god-sent: Adderall a.k.a. AMPHETAMINE SALTS a.k.a. SPEED. I began Junior year of high school on 20 mg instant tablets and my grades skyrocketed; I was miss social butterfly and got voted most loquacious. I was the life of the party and always coming back with something quick-witted to say or I was the #1 helper and everything that was normally boring all of a sudden was FASCINATING! Before I knew it, Adderall became my #1 love because it seemed to help all my problems: school/paying attention; social anxiety and depression. However, I began to rationalize taking up to 100 mg. a day because "I have so much to do". It wasn't but a day or two after that rationalization where I made everyday a day where I had "so much to do".

Right before I quit, I was taking 200 mg . That's a rough estimate since I began to lose track. I quit and was amphetamine free until my 2nd year of college when I met a girl in my dorm who had a script. I told myself I would only use when ABSOLUTELY necessary, instead of just for things like going to the grocery store, or going to a friend's house for a gathering like I felt the need for adderall to make me more productive. However, it wasn't long before my brain kept poking at me to get that feeling again and whenever i didn't and I did take Adderall, I became a monster and a rager. Subsequently, I have been addicted and this time with full force for the past 4 years.

I also built up quite a debt buying it from other people after battling the addiction with my very own prescription that was dirt cheap compared to what I was paying for others. Also, I loved loved loved to spend money on adderall b/c I'd go to wal-mart or another easy-to-spend money store and would buy all this useless crap that seemed "so awesome and necessary" at the time...because I was high on amphetamines. I'm in credit card, bank account, etc. debt. It's a little over 2500!

My messed up rationalizations to myself convinced me I would never get that way again. Well, that's when the cycle of addiction caught up with me again and I rationalized my way of talking the doc to prescribe me timed release (thnking I wouldn't have such an urge to abuse it...WRONG) It only got 10 times worse the 2nd time around and all the great, wonderful, unbelievable feelings and accomplishments Adderall first gave me backfired. I actually became MORE ADD and began smoking a lot a lot of Pot to try and level me out, or I would hit up a friend up for a xanax, or whatever benzo or tranquilzer I could find to bring me down later. I completely wacked my brain up even more this time and for so long and have lost most of my friends due to my selfish and destructive behavior.

I have just recently confessed to my doctor that I withheld information from them about my previous addiction so I could get back on it. Now I've been amphetamine free for 2 weeks! Although I feel sluggish, unmotivated, depressed, hungry and tired most the time, at the end of the day, i'm so proud of myself for the things I did accomplish without adderall. when you start taking the amount I was taking a day or like cpet said in their post, most people begin to become severely paranoid (esp. combined with pot and psychedelic drugs as I was), scattered, irrational, aggressive, and for me, I was always isolating because I picked up on reactions of my over the top upbeat behavior, or the weird periods of isolation I'd go through where I didn't want to interact with anyone because I felt uneasy and almost like a robot...no emotion or feeling.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say here is that getting off of Adderall is a tough change but I know I'm going to have a much better, healthier, happier life without it. Although when I hear people talk about taking it I am so jealous! But we are all connected, just different and their are certain exceptions in every different situation.

It is late and I can ';t wait to go to bed (I can't believe I'm saying this. ha) Day 3 without the meds. Let me just say...... I love/hate the stuff too... but today was incredible. Instead of popping the pills and riding the up, down, up...down roller coaster I was so incredibly leveled and felt "normal." I caught myself thinking "holy crap why do i feel good?" NEVER HAPPENED IN MONTHS!! Yes I ate more than on the stuff... but I didn't have the desire to suck down a pack of cigarettes and I held conversations without paranoia and anxiety. it was great. I pray to god I can keep this up... BUT FOR THISE OTHER ADDICTS WHO STRUGGLE..... It is possible. Recovery is possible. One day at a time... and just think tonight I can lay in bed and my mind will not be racing with fear after fear after fear. Hang in there everyone.