Breaking My Heart

But do you know how much that hurts?
Adoption isn't like walking into a shop and picking whtever kid you fancy!
Adoption is very very expensive, takes a darn long time and if you ain't married don't bother asking for an application form!
I also do not get the paid time off work I would if I carried a child and therefore we lose half our income for a year - not an option and we do not have anywhere near enough money to even consider thinking about adoption.

Is it wrong to not want someone else's baby?
If I had enough funds right now to adopt 10, I wouldn't want them. Am I bad to not want someone else's kids and only want my own?

Most women fantasize about the day they become mothers. It's in our blood, our whole being, almost the biggest reason we are here. I'm so sorry kia. I understand how you feel about adoption. It's not wrong. Maybe one day you will feel diff. Idk what else to say...I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I know you're just venting, we're listening. I just wanted to share what was on my heart.

Its 15 weeks today (well now that friday has rolled around it is 15 w 1d) in 2 days time I should have 6 weeks left!

Till my due date!

You mean 15 weeks since you lost oliver? I thought you were talking about preg, but I didn't understand 15 weeks and 6 weeks left, I wasn't getting it. Aww kia. :cry: :cry:

No, when I came on it was 15 weeks since I lost oliver only now it's friday and is 15w 1d since. But in 2 days time I should have only had 6 weeks left to go. I'm shocked at how quickly time has gone by it's mad to think i'd be 34w now!

I know exactly how you feel. I may be young, but I have been ttc for a lil over a year now. I jump at any possiblity that the doctors may be wrong and this might be my miracle to have a child. We will see what happens with me, but I doubt every possible symptom I have is my chance to have a child. Believe me, I know what you are going through. I am sorry that I am not the only one and that there are more people going through the same thing. Money is definately an issue with adoption and it isn't the same. Even if I could carry, just not conceive, the procedures to do that are also expensive and everything else surrounding infertility is all about the money. I wish there was something we can do, that wouldn't cost.........

Oh hunni! I know what u mean. I miscarried 8 wks 2 days ago... I know it's not the same for me as if was for u, but I feel ur pain hun. There's nothing wrong with how ur feeling, it's only natural for a woman. I feel exactly the same way. Right now all I want is my baby. :(

Thing is ladies I had to have a hysterectomy because my baby ruptured through my uterus :cry:

Hunny, I believe in miracles.
Doctors told me that sami would be mentally retarded... Well that's very far from the truth.
I can totally understand you not wanting to adopt. Jim himself was adopted and doesn't want to adopt any children, he can't explain it. I totally understand and I hope god will see how deserving you and steve are of a child.

I'm sorry kia....I hope you start feeling better!! :)

Kia no your not wrong for wanting your own child.. I understand that. I was just giving an option. In the states there is a thing called foster parents.. They will pay you room and board to take care of children, or if noone else wants them or adopt them they give you a chance. There has to be something that can be done to help you...

Kia, I may not undersatand your pain but I do feel for you. I can understand not wanting to adopt and I know what a hard and long process it is. Maybe in time you will change your mind. I mean it is soon after all the sh*t that happened. On anothernote what about surrogacy or something??? Just a ques.

Thanks ladies

Kia_breizzze it is not wrong that you want some other woman's baby. Look at it this way. If you can afford to support this other woman's baby and she can't then that is good for the baby. If the other woman could support or want the baby then she wouldn't be putting it for adoption. And like tazzy d said there is always foster parenting. Plus there is alot of woman who abandon there baby. And you can give that baby a home or a child a home then you should adopt. But you have to do what you think is best for you. And I am so sorry tha tyou have to a hysterectomy.

Adoption isn't like that though.
1) i'm not mrried and have no intention of doing so - therefore I immediately drop to the bottom of the list.
2) I do not have upwards of £25,000 (uk pounds not dollars) to even think about begining proceedings.
3) we can not afford to take a 50% cut in our income for at least a year (as I would not be entitlted to "maternity pay" and to have my job reserved for me to go back)

fostering is a whole different ball game - you foster a kid, nurture and love it only to have it snatched away from you and put back with its parents. Again we can not afford the income loss.

It sure is cheaper to have your own kids.
But nasty/wrong or whatever I don't want someone elses child, I don't want to put right someone elses mistake.

There are so many people here in uk who do want to adopt that they have to wait for a child to become available. Virtually all the children for fostering are short-term and teenagers.

To adopt out of country is just out of the question, there is no-way on this earth our salaries would cover the extortionate solicitors fees.
Then add to that the taxes we pay on everything here in uk.
Anything above £4,000 income is subject to 22% tax before it even gets to your bank account.
If your income exceeds £40,000 you can be subjected to 40% tax before getting your salary.
All goods are subject to 17.5% tax, to use a credit/debit card incurs 2.5% charges. Petrol is around equivalant to around $85-90 to fill the car up.