What Is Sex Like After a Total Hysterectomy (Page 3)

I had a very complicated hysterectomy 4 weeks ago, which included removing my wombs, cervix, part of my vagina, scar tissue, infected tissue and repairing my bladder (which du to on going infections had attatched its self to my wombs).I have an incision from my navel all the way down to my vagina and spent 3 weeks in hospital, 2 of which i had a cathiter in. I am aware that my casesis completly different from, well, everybody elses but i have had conflicting information about when i can have sex again? Not that i even want to yet, but would be nice to have an idea? Plus i am still swollen after the surgery and was woundering how long it has taken others to get back to there normal size, because i dont fit in any of my clothes! And seeing as i turning 24 next week i am hoping for a miracle so i can get into a dress and go out for dinner. It would be nice to see more than my bedroom or the hospital.

I found some cute maternity dresses to wear after my TAB I had done 2 weeks ago. They went in with a vertical incision from my belly button so my abdomen is pretty swollen. The dresses don't look maternity and they flow away from my body so are more comfortable to wear when I get out of the house.

I had a tah six tears ago and my sex drive is GONE!! Sex hurts and I am a lost woman. To make matters worse, I re-married three years ago and I am short-changing my poor husband, who is not ready for rocking chairs and holding hands!!!

i had a total hysterectomy six months ago . i tried sex three times with my husband . my age is 46. it is not the same before the surgery. can i enjoy normal sexual life now.

Hi renu46 and welcome to ehealth: Why isn't it the same?...I had a total Hysterectomy at age 47 and have never looked back...It has gotten better and better...Most of a woman's sexual want comes from within...If she feels that she is different and can't get it on, then she will take on this attitude and freeze up...If she thinks she is hotter than the woman in "God's Little Acres" then she will take on this fixture in her mind and let it all hang out...IMO, your body has been somewhat altered, but not your mind...You are still the hot and erotic and sometimes "dirty" older woman as I am....Forget what you read...Let your mind go wild...And just plain "let it all hang out"...I send you my best wishes....

Caroline

For many of us, sex is very different post hysterectomy. I think I always just took for granted that orgasms would be there, and never spent much time thinking about where( what part of my body) they came from. I just enjoyed the ride.
Post hysterectomy, I lost the type of orgasm that came from my uterus - duh. unfortunately for me this had become my favorite part. Sometime around breatfeeding, my husband got really excellent at breast stimulation and could bring me to multiple orgasm just with that. I know it was around breastfeeding, because when he got me good my milk would let down, so we always kept a towel by the bed. I was going off like a fountain. after breastfeeding, the experience changed some - it was a bit less messy- but he could still give me fabulous uterine contractions with breast stimulation. combined with penetration I was in heaven. After that, I always steered my hubby away from clitoral stimulation, which has a more "electrical stimulation" kind of feel to me, and can be actually annoying until the orgasm comes. From clit stim, I want an orgasm because I am uncomfortable. I remember when I was a newlywed waking up and feeling like this and thinking I was aroused, and we really did have toe curling sex back then too, but it was different. Really did get better over time.
Now I am a year post hysterectomy - it was vaginal and I kept my ovaries. I am only 47 and am showing no signs of menopause before or since surgery. And yet sex is very different. No, I am not dry, and I would not say my sex drive is gone, but sex is so much less than it was, that I am not so desperate for it anymore. For the first 5 months or so I became more and more depressed as I realized how changed my orgasms were. I can't have "my favorite kind" of orgasm anymore, so at first it felt like I couldn't orgasm at all. I tried hormones even though my hormone levels were fine. I found that it made me feel that clitoris stimulation feeling - annoyed and uncomfortable until orgasm. But since I had to retrain both myself and my husband as to what would get me there, lots of the time I just felt uncomfortable. The orgasms that I could get were so much less than I had before that it hardly seemed worth it. It was "make yourself uncomfortable so you can have sex and get depressed."
Fortunately after awhile you forget exactly what those great ones were like, and you learn better how to get those not quite so good ones, so it does improve. Best time is when he catches me sleepy and I still think it is going to be fantastic, because I am most into it then. Unfortunately most of the time I am awake and know what I am getting. I try to remember that this stuff made me crazy when we first started, and enjoy it, and at times I can, but I guess I am not quite as motivated as I once was. I don't know how to explain that it is not a lack of desire, but a lowering of expectations. I can have that " Oh god, reach down my shirt, up my skirt, etc or I am going to burst" feeling, but the burst ends up being more like a balloon slowing deflating than an explosion.
I know not everyone's orgasm is the same, so I will say that the thing that bothers me most is that my breasts don't seem "connected" to the process anymore without the uterus there. If breast stimulation does a lot for you, then I think that might be a good predictor you are going to have a change in orgasm experience. Read carefully that some women say post hysterectomy things are even better . . .it is definitely not the same for everyone. But if the surgery is an optional one, think about it and weigh your options. Wish I had. . .

I am 40 yrs old and I am due to have a hysterectomy, I am wondering should I keep my ovaries, or have them removed. they are right now normal, but I have my uterus doubled in size. Also, I have Fibroids so the surgery will take out the uterus and cervix. I am afraid that if I don't get them removed now, that in a couple of years I will have to.

I am 27 yrs old and had a TAH on 12/8/10 and I had a lot of emotions going through my head at first. Now after its complete I feel a sense of relief and I am so freaking horny all the time and i noticed that my clitoris is so sensitive now. I even have orgasms when I'm showering and cleaning myself. I was on here trying to figure out when I could have sex. I am so ready and I have to tell u that I'm am lubricating naturally way more than I was before my surgery.If anyone has any suggestions for me then pls respond....
signed MS.Nikie

Is it true that you can not have an orgasm after a Hysterectomy?

hi there, im 30 and just had a TAH and one of my ovaries was removed. im single and no child which i wanted to so badly ...i cried so much before and after my operation thinking that i can no longer have a baby. i have a boyfriend now and he is very supportive. we havent done it since coz im scare it would cause trouble on my recovery when i do. i have only been recovering for a month. i just wish that the sex after my tah wold still be the same or better just like some of you here. now im only thinking about my future because i can no longer have a baby and i dont know what im gonna do about that - it makes me cry everytime i think that. any psychological advise?

Hi about 2 weeks ago I had a total hysterectomy and kept both my ovaries, I can believe how good I feel... I'm still tender , but other than that, all is going well, I was also told no sex for 6 weeks and intend to wait that long.. Reading some of these comments from women who didn't listen to their doctors and had sex before the 6 weeks , then they developed infections , you women are idiots, why would you make yourselves more sick...????Its your own bloody fault. control yourself and take care of you health...instead of being dickheads....you have no one else to blame for you infections

My wife is a little over 8months pregnate and the doctors found her placenta has pushed itself into her bladder and they say she may need a hysterectomy after they take out the baby..I am very worried about this as they say if its worst case she may even die...will she lose her sex drive?? whats the percentage of women who have this surgery that still maintaine sex drive or even gain a higher sex drive???

You are told your wife could DIE and you are more concerned about her sex drive. Well there you have it ladies, men are more concerned about their sex lives than just about anything else it seems. Sheesh!

GET A FREAKING GRIP. I HOPE YOUR WIFE SEES YOUR QUESTION AND SHOWS U THE DOOR. WHAT A JERK. WHAT IF ROLLS WERE REVERSED AND U HAD TO HAVE YOUR DUDE CUT OFF OR U WERE GOING TO DIE? BET SHE WOULDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT WHEN OR IF THE NEXT TIME OR HOW SHE WAS GOING TO GET OFF...WOW!

Hi travanmiho and welcome to ehealth: Worry about her health...This could be serious...

When I had my full Hysterectomy my husband never worried or asked about what could happen with our sex life...Thinking back on this time in our life, I am happy that he didn't....You see we picked up where we left off...and may I add, to this day it is still the same...Hot and heavy....

If she has this surgery make her feel like a woman...You see it is not the easiest surgery to go through...Give her time to recover and don't judge her by what you may read...Most of all don't let her know of these new worries that you have...It could affect her thinking in the future....You see, my husband would have accepted me anyway that I was...Love her with all your heart and soul...That is what is most important...Take care...

Caroline

Thank you..I am not saying I am only worried about our sex life..like you said that is not important right now..I just want her to come back home safe and sound..shes been staying at the hospital for the past 4 days...I miss her more than anything..and our two little girls miss her as well...i will accept her anyway she is and assured her of that when the doctor told us the details of the MRI...thank you again..

Hi again: You are very welcome...She will be fine...It sounds like she is in good hands...My best wishes to you and your wonderful family...You have been blessed...Take care...

Caroline

From a husbands point of view. Never get a hysterectomy unless it is absolutely needed. If you had normal sex before, you will not have normal sex afterwards. Doctors know this but will not tell you before the surgery. They leave you with a very short mushy vaginal pouch that has to be stretched as you have sex. It feels nothing like a normal vaginal canal and the shortness is so unbelievably annoying that I could care less if I ever experienced it again.

I had a total hysterectomy 9 years ago. My sex drive has gone to pot. I use to take Estratest until they took it off the market. Sex was awesome them. However, my husband says that I don't feel the same during penetration. I use to be very tight. Now, I'm extremely loose. My cervix was tilted before they took it out. What could be the cause of this?

Thanks for putting a honest opinion, That what we need more of the Men's opinions. They are the one recieving it on the other end they had it before and after the Surgery. Some husbands will just say it's the same because they dont want to hurt the other's feelings.

yes only eplore it it as a last resort .ya need to do ya research there is a lot they do not tell our wife's where there are alternative's to if in doubt cut it out.I will do every thing to keep my wife intact unless life threatning such as cancer.gyno's are too quick to prescribe hysterectomy and most of them are men.I respect my wife wish's and hav researched to keep her informed while the gyno has been telling her from day 1 get a hysterectomy it will be the end of your problems bull

I had a total hysterectomy 9 years ago. My sex drive has gone to pot. I use to take Estratest until they took it off the market. Sex was awesome them. However, my husband says that I don't feel the same during penetration. I use to be very tight. Now, I'm extremely loose. My cervix was tilted before they took it out. What could be the cause of this?

So this is a plea for help to you ladies out there. My Wife had a TAH 2 years ago.To be blunt we have not had sexi in a year and a half. I keep getting told she has no sexual desire and does not know if she will ever have any. She feels a great sense of lost ove her TAH, and tell me she has no hormaones left to spark a sex drive. Essentially She has none, show no interst in developing one but says she still loves me. We ar 48 years old and I have a hard time thinking of the rest of my life without sex. Any ideas?

I am amazed by these women who had no changes.
I am 32, had a total abdominal hysterectomy a year and a half ago. It has ruined my life. My husband and I have had sex 1 time since, and it hurt like hell. I am still in pain around my incision, I have horrible mood issues, depression, anxiety, and an overall feeling of dispair. I dont work, because there would be no way I could go to a job when I cry just about every day.
I have been on 2 diff types of HRTs and about every anti-depressant out there. I cant sleep at night and its taken a toll on every part of my life.
I wish I had been warned, if I could do it over again I would take the pain from my endometrosis any day of the week.

I had a vaginal hysterectomy 20 years ago, I still grieve every day for the lost sex life, it totally destroyed my sex life,( no orgasam any longer ) DO NOT HAVE THIS OPERATION unless it is life threatening .

I had a TAH-BSO in 1987. I was on oral estrogen but lost my sex drive completelly. In 2003 I discovered that new gynecologist does Bioidentical Hormone Pellets. These are tiny pellets of either estrogen or testosterone that are inserted under the skin on my rear. I get them 3-4 times per year. Within 48 hours, my sex drive came roaring back and has been fantastic ever since. I feel younger, look younger and life is great! I just got married last October and my new husband gets them too.

You don't have to suffer....there are options.

had a total hysterectomy ovaries included only to be told that afterwards the biopsy report said that there was nothing wrong with either.
Before I have always had a good sex drive and great clitoral and vaginal orgasms.
Psychologically I am devastated, as I still can remember the intense pleasure and the build up from smaller to larger vaginal contractions concluding with an ecstatic physical release.
Over time this has declined and want to know what is out there for us to bring this healthy sex drive back into my life.
I miss it so much and are looking for a miracle that will actually work and last no matter how old we get,

I have read few comments re ways and medications have worked. I am interested in what these are and will they continue to work until we a too geriatric to be physically capable of it

Has anyone asked the man does it feel diffrent good or bad